The Space Between

"So they should call today right?" John asked Jen as he looked over the book he was reading.

Jenna shrugged, "I assume so."

John breathed in trying to hold in the worry he felt building up. It was now becoming too familiar.

The pair sat in silence, John reading and Jenna on the laptop. That was until her phone rang and he nearly dropped the book he held. His eyes shot to her and she calmly answered her phone. It was like John stopped breathing for the several minutes the phone call lasted.

"So?" John asked as he stared at the now pale girl. Jenna couldn't even form the words to say what was told to her.

"Jenna. Are you ok? Answer me." He nearly yelled from his nerves.

"I'm pregnant."

John stopped moving as his eyes locked with hers. After a few seconds passed he released the breath he had been holding.

"That's it?" He asked calmly with a smile and her eyes went wide, "That's it?" She repeated and a grin hit his lips, "Yeah! I mean that's great! Jen, I was really worried. You have no idea!"

"And me being pregnant is ok?!"

"Yes! We talked about this honey." He said seriously. Yes, like he said before, he was nervous simply from the thought of taking care of someone, but the thoughts of how amazing life would be seemed to be stronger.

"John..." She spoke calmly and he shut up.

"He said I need to make an appointment with an ob doctor because I still shouldn't be having these sort of symptoms."

"What does that mean?" He asked cautiously.

She shrugged as she bit her bottom lip still in shock over what she just found out. Was she really having a baby?

"Fuck just when I think I'm done worrying!" John grumbled as he moved beside her.

"Jen, we need to call now and make an appointment." He said seriously.

"I know this."

He sighed as he let the silence fill the room. He really didn't know what she was feeling and he was certain trying to make her do something wasn't helping any.

"We're gonna be ok." John whispered bringing his hand to her cheek as his green eyes met hers.
Jenna simply nodded unable to digest all the life changing events that just occured.

"I'll make you an appointment." He added pressing his lips to her cheek as he gently pulled her phone from her hand.

"I'll take care of it, sweetie. Just relax."

Jenna watched him leave the room and she brought her hands to her face as her eyes began to water. She wasn't ready to be a mother that she was certain she had time to think about.

"Ok, thank you." John spoke into the phone as he walked back into the living room. Jenna eyed the boy as he sat beside her, "Tomorrow at 2."

"Great." She mumbled and he wrapped his arms around her gently.

"Are you ok?" He finally asked the girl and she shrugged.

"Jenna, please talk to me. Let me know how you are feeling or what you are thinking. Just anything."

"I really don't know. I'm just not ready for this yet."

"What does that mean?" He asked and she sighed, "I just imagined this happening years from now that's all."

"We're keeping it right?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and she nodded, "Of course. I could never do that."

John nodded in relief as he cupped her face, "Don't worry. I mean that. We will take each day as it comes. I love you. We will make this work."

She sighed and relaxed against the couch as he watched her, uncertain what else to say at this point.

He leaned into her and kissed gently over her face, "I love you." He repeated as he rubbed her side.

"I love you too." She mumbled and he kissed her lips, "Please stop acting like this is the end of the world."

"I'm not."

"Are so. So what? We are having a baby. People do that all the time and you are going to be a fucking amazing mother." He said with a grin as he placed his fingers under her chin making her look at him.

She breathed in feeling a bit better since he was so calm about it. Sure they had discussed it days ago, but discussing it and it actually happening are completely different.

"It's gonna be ok, Jenna. Trust me?"

The girl nodded immediately and he kissed her forehead. He really wasn't planning on being the one who was happy about this, but for some reason he was. Then again, he was just so relieved that he knew what was going on with her that he didn't care.

"I'm not telling Garrett." Jenna said and John groaned, "I'm not! He's your brother!"

She shook her head and he chuckled pulling her down on the couch so he could lay down.

"He'll probably be happier than any of us." John whispered, holding her securely against his chest.

"Maybe." She whispered, shutting her eyes tightly.

"I know this isn't what you imagined your life being like, Jenna. I know you wanted to get married first and later have kids and maybe more so with Eric than me, but I hope you don't hate the whole scenario either. I mean, I'm happy over it. I always wanted to spend my life with you. This is what I've always wanted. Maybe it's just me being selfish. I don't know..." John spoke honestly and Jenna buried her face in his shirt. If anything he was right. She hadn't planned any of this. Then again, she hasn't planned anything that has happened in her life. After Eric passed she should have known nothing would ever be what she wanted.

"I love you, John. No I don't hate the thought, I just wasn't prepared for it to happen right now." She mumbled into his shirt.

"Were you ready with Eric?" He asked boldly and she looked up at him quickly.

"Maybe not exactly..."

"But if I was him things would be easier?"

"Only because we would have been together for years."

John's eyebrows narrowed together, "Do you think I'm going to leave or something?"

"What? No. I just...I don't know..." She spoke softly not wanting to get into another conversation about Eric.

He breathed in, "Jenna, I'm not going anywhere. You should know that by now."

"I never said you were." She stated as her eyes met his.

"Why does it feel like it then? I feel like you always are waiting for me to throw in the towel, or give up and no I'm not trying to start a fight." He said quickly and Jenna shrugged, "I just don't see why you would stay. I guess in a way I'm just paranoid now. That nothing good last anymore, you know? I'm just scared that we will be happy and it will fall apart or something will happen."

John sighed and ran his hand down is unshaven face, "Jenna, you can't think like that. I mean, I get why you do. I do. But you can't do that to yourself. It isn't fair. You deserve to be happy and you will never, ever lose me. I mean that."

"I didn't think I'd ever lose Eric either." She whispered as she fiddled with her fingers nervously.

"Right. I know that, but we are different. This whole thing is different. You can't be afraid. Especially not now. Jenna, love, we are having a baby. You should not be feeling this way." John said seriously as he brushed her hair gently with his fingers. More than anything John just wanted her to feel like he did. He wanted her to be content and happy as he was.

"I know and I'm sorry." She managed to say as her eyes watered. His eyebrows narrowed together as he cupped her face, "What? No. Don't cry."

"I can't help it. I know it's stupid, but you are right and I need to just stop over thinking everything."

He nodded and brushed away her tears that now slid down her cheek, "It's fine, ladybug." He whispered kissing over her cheek trying to calm her down. She really didn't know where the tears came from. Maybe she was hormonal after all. She really didn't know what came with pregnancy.
She sniffled as he whispered sweet things to her and held her tightly, "I love you. Everything will be fine. Just wait and see."

Jenna nodded and cuddled closer to his chest. She was now calmed from the closeness of the boy and the sound of his heart beating.

"John?"

"Mhm?" He mumbled as he rubbed her back softly.

"You're going to be a really great dad you know."

A smile lit the blonde boys face even though she couldn't see it, "Thanks sweetie." He mumbled into her hair. He didn't know why he was so excited about this. Hell, he never thought he would be but for some reason the fact that it was with Jenna seemed to eliminate any negative thought he ever had about starting a family. In fact, the only thing he hated was that this wasn't done the right way. He should have asked her to marry him months ago and if anything it wasn't too late to do things the way she wanted.