These Things I've Done

I pulled up the driveway, and as soon as I stopped the car, his door was open. I curiously watched him as he walked around to my side, and opened the door for me. I sighed, smiling up at him.
"You're so cute." I said. He smiled, now holding out his hand for me. I took it. He helped me up, pulling me up against him. I felt my heart start to beat faster, as he stared into my eyes, intertwining our fingers, now walking us up to the front door.

I heard him sigh as we walked inside. I knew how much he enjoyed getting away from the hospital. Especially considering how much warmer it was here.

"You wanna go to bed?" I asked. He nodded.

We went upstairs and I rummaged around for a big pair of sweatpants for him to wear.
"Here.." I said, tossing him a pair.
"Your pants?" He giggled.
"It'll be comfier than sleeping in your jeans.." I said. He didn't argue.

He quickly changed and plopped himself into my bed. I smiled at how happy he looked. I changed into a pair of pajama shorts and climbed in, cuddling close to him.

"So, how long until they catch us?" He said, gently stroking my hair. I sighed, clinging onto his shirt.
"I'd rather not think about it." I said. He nodded, gently kissing the top of my head.

I looked up at him. His sweet face. His beautiful eyes. His mop of hair. They were all so perfect to me. He looked down at me.
"What?" He said quietly. I bit my lip, but soon pulled him closer, kissing him on the lips. He gently moved his hands under my neck, rolling over on top of me. He kissed me back harder, tangling his fingers in my hair. I ran my hands up his shirt, and felt him shiver with the touch of my cold skin. He then moved his hands down to my waist, holding my tightly as kissed my neck. I clung to him, feeling my heart racing. I wanted him.

I moved my hands down, gently tugging at his pants. He looked back up at me wide eyed. I bit my lip.
"I.. I'm sorry.." I said. I felt my cheeks get red as I moved away a little, now sitting up. He sighed.
"No.. No, I.. I'm sorry. I.. didn't expect that." He bit his lip, still staring back at me.
"I.. I just.." He cut me off.
"I've never done anything like that." He said quietly.
"That's okay.." I said. He looked away.
"No, it's embarrassing." He said. I sighed.
"Kellin, it's fine." I said, gently running my hand through his hair.
"Easy for you to say.." He said. "I'm sure you've done it before." I bit my lip. I had. With who I thought I was going to marry. But that didn't matter now.

"That doesn't matter.." I said. He looked back at me.
"Yes it does." He said. "I.. I wouldn't know what to do. I'd.. just disappoint you." I bit my lip.
"No you wouldn't." I said. He sighed.
"I.. I'm sorry." He said, scrunching up his face, running his hands through his hair. "I.. I probably just ruined everything." I gently pulled him closer, leaning my forehead against his.
"You didn't ruin anything. Look, we.. we don't have to do anything. It's fine." His face dropped.

"I'm.. I'm just.. I'm not a sexual guy. No one's ever seen me like that.. so I just.. I don't know.. how to be. I've never been like that. No one's ever seen me as.. sexy before. I just.. I'm the cute guy. That's always it."

I pulled him in, gently kissing him.
"Well, I think you are. And I think you're cute. And everything in between."

His cheeks got red, and finally he smiled again. I gently ran my fingers down his cheek. He leaned in, gently kissing me again.
"I love you." He sighed. I smiled, pulling him back down next to me, cuddling up against him.
"I love you too."