Stay With Me

It all began on a Wednesday...

I picked up coffee for myself and for him and went over to his place.

"You know Gee you should really consider locking your door, what if a psycho killer comes in and completely slashes you and chops up your body and leaves a bloody trail?"

"I always wondered why we were friends and its those kind of comments reminds me why."

He was jumping up and down in repetitive motions and moving his arms with his legs.

This is something that normally doesn't do I usually find him in his cave of a bedroom drawing or reading but this time he was up and moving around.

It took me a while to understand that...

"Gerard are you?...exercising?"

"Yeah!"

he had this gigantic smile plastered on his face one I haven't really seen since....

"May I ask why are you exercising?"

"What? Can't a guy just do some workouts because he enjoys it?"

"I have known you for a solid 10 years and I have never seen you once grab a dung bell."

"Well now I am!"

Something told me that something was happening and I didn't know if I was going to like it.

"So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to call Mikey?"

"Oh sorry."

he stopped doing jumping jacks and handed me a paper

"Craig called about a few days ago."

"Okay."

"and he said Linkin Park was interested in taking us on tour for their Projekt Revolution tour."

"Thats amazing!"

"Thats not the best part about it look at the bands playing the revolution stage.."

I read them off one by one

-Madina Lake

-Styles of Beyond

-The Bled

-Saosin

-Mindless S-

Oh.

"Mindless Self Indulgence."

"yeah Mindless Self Indulgence."

"MSI means..."

"Means Lindsey."

the smile crept back onto his face, that smile I hadn't seen since he first came back from that tour and boasted about this amazing bass player he had met on the tour.

How she was beautiful, talented, funny, artistic, and a never ending list of compliments.

He of course only told me because he had a girlfriend and didn't want her to know he was smitten with someone else.

"Sawyer you can't believe how fucking pumped I am for this! July 26th through September 3rd! Man this time I am single and I want to get to know her more! Maybe something can happen this time! You have to meet her so is just so incredible!"

All I could see was the smile that was plastered on his face and how my insides were twisting into knots because something inside me knew there was no stoping him from getting her.
Not even me...of course why would I even be considered into the equation?
He never saw me anyway...why would he?

"Sawyer did you even hear what I said?"
"oh no sorry what was it?"
"I was wondering maybe if you're schedule was clear enough.."

No don't you dare ask me!

"That would could come on this tour since you couldn't the last one, please?"
"Gerard I don't know I have some things in the works I just don't know if I would have enought free time to take a month plus off to go-"
"Sawyer please! A best friend please!"

He was looking at me the way he usually does when he really wanted me to do something for him.
Those hazel eyes shinning and the smile stuck on his face.

"Gee I-"

Black Flag started blasting from my pocket... THANK GOD!
"hold on let just- Hey Frankie!"
"Hey Sawyer dude you want to have breakfast with Jamia and me?"
you could hear Jamia in the background
'TELL HER TO GET HER BUTT HERE NOW! I MISS HER!!'
"ha ha ha yeah I'm at Gee's I'll head right over plus we have to talk about somethings."
"What this things?"
"Some red stuff."
"OH okay."
"see you in a bit."
"okey dokey."

Gerard was standing there with a puzzled look on his face.
"red stuff?"
"nothing important, but uh Frank invited me over for breakfast so I see you later okay?"

as I was turning to leave his apartment he called out to me

"Hey wait Sawyer!"
"Hmm?"
"You didn't give me an answer."
"About?"
"About the tour."
"Gee I don't know.."
"Please just think about it. It would really mean a lot to me if you could come and possibliy meet Lindsey."

Could I really do that to myself?
Meet the girl who could possibly capture his whole heart?

"I'll think about about but I make no promises."
"Yes! Thank you that's all I ask!"

I made my way over to the Iero's.
People always assumed something that was not true when it came to Frank and myself.
They always assumed we were dating but we were as close as two people could possibly get, its like we were brother and sister and it was hard to believe.
We met at a punk show and that was it the friendship grew from there.
Later on when Frank met Jamia it took her a while to understand that we came in a pair and there was nothing really there except for friendship.

"SAWYER!"
"Hey Jamia where is frodo baggins?"
"cooking."
"you're letting him cook?"
"He wouldn't stop pestering me so I had to."
"I'm surprised he hasn't burned the whole house down!"
"Lets go check on him shall we?"

we discovered frank toasting bread
"Frank...the kitchen...."
"Its intact."
"What? you expected armagedon?"

Jamia and I turned to each other and said
"Well yeah! ha ha ha!"
"ha ha you two come on breakfast is served."

"Sawyer you said Red whats going on?"
"Oh that...Did you hear about Projekt Revolution?"
"yeah isn't it amazing all those bands! and-"

he saw look on my face and then it clicked

"Sawyer oh shit I didnt even realize until...are you okay?"
"I don't know."
"Sawyer sweetie, are you going to be okay?"
"Jamia I don't know...I really don't know. Its been years and I keep hoping...I seriously feel like an idiot. You wanna whats worst?"
"What honey?"
"He asked me to go on tour with you guys so I can meet her. Its like why don't you take another piece of my heart and stab it over and over again."
Jamia and Frank looked at me like I was about to break down.

"Sawyer maybe its time to try to move on. I wouldn't normally tell you this but I am your best friend and I feel like its my obligation to."
"Frank I don't know. I mean I just...he is just in here."

I pointed to my heart.
"and he just won't leave. I have tried to fill it with everything I could possibly think up but he always stays there...but maybe your right....maybe its time I should at least try."
"Who knows you might meet someone on tour with us and see where it goes."
"If I decided you go that is.."
"Yeah if.."

Maybe Frank had a point....maybe I should try to move on, if I can.