Stay With Me

“So you aren’t going to tell me more than that are you?”
Yes.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because this week is suppose about us having fun and not making me recall sad memories, so can we please move on from this?”
“Sawyer.”
“Gee please.”
“Okay. How about we go for some lunch?”
“How about we just order room service and go over your schedule?”
“Even better.”
“Go get your schedule and I will get the menu.”

He can get so easily sidetracked sometimes but I would rather focus on his business here than him probing into my past which is too painful for me right now.

“Okay so I have that conference with all the headlining bands tomorrow in the morning and then another in the evening at the rainbow bar & grill.”
“Alright so we are keeping it casual?”
“Yeah I don’t see the point of dressing up for conferences and magazine stuff.”
“Good thing cause all I packed was jeans and t-shirts ha ha.”
“One of these days we will force you into some type of dress Sawyer.”
“I would love to see you try that ha ha!”
“You just watch.”

It’s easy sometimes when it’s just the two of us.
Then I remind myself that reality has other plans.

“So have you talked to Lindsey yet?”

He had a mouthful of veggie burger and his eyes went wide.
He just shook his head no
“I am-waiting-stupid burger! There we go. I am waiting until we are actually on tour makes it easier and less weird.”
“Less weird than “oh yeah I started working out since I found out we are going to spend 3 or so months together.”
“Shush like you wouldn’t want to impress some guy you have had a thing for years?”

Oh what someone like you?

“Nope.”
“Oh come on Coraline be real.”
“I say if I like a guy I’m not going to bend over backwards to get him to notice me. If he really likes me, he will like me for who I am. Not for someone I am pretending to be. The constant changing of hair color, the fact I rarely if ever wear dresses and that I live and breathe music, he will have to like everything I come with.”

He just looked at me and smiled

“You are going to make some guy happy one day you know that? “
“Not if I don’t get off the road with you guys. How am I ever going to meet someone when I constantly traveling with 5 guys?”
“Is that why you don’t travel with us as much anymore? Because you want to meet someone?”

Lie. Just lie.

“No, I just think its time. I just need to really plant some roots and I don’t want to leave my mom alone anymore.”

“I think you are going to miss it.”
“What the cold showers and the rude managers of other bands. The constant rude security that likes to think I am a fan trying to sneak backstage? Oh the occasional fan who thinks they can bribe me into getting them a pass? Oh sure I am totally going to miss that.”
“Shut up Sawyer! You what I think you’re going to miss the most?”
“Enlighten me of wise one.”
“Me.”

Stop it.

“Oh sure.”
“Come on admit it! You are going to miss this pretty mug!”
“ha ha! In your dreams!”
“Oh you know what that hurts! Just admit that you will miss seeing me everyday.”

Of course I will.

“ha ha nope.”
“oh come on Sawyer.”

He got that look on his face…the one that meant.

“Don’t you dare Gerard.”
“Just admit it and I won’t do it.”
“I am not admitting to nothing!”
“Alright then….”
He lunged himself on top of me and started to tickle my sides
“NO! HA HA HA NO STOP GEE! NO HAHAHA ST-STOP!”
“ADMIT THAT YOU WILL MISS ME AND I’LL STOP!”
“NEVER!”
He kept going he wouldn’t stop.
“COME ON SAWYER JUSTSAY IT AND MEAN IT!”
“NO! HAHAHAHA NO PLEASE STOP! HAHAHAHAHA FINE FINE!!”

He stopped and pulled away and looked down at me.

“Well..”
“Fine! I’ll miss you Gee.”

He smiled big and bent down and kissed my forehead and said
“I know you will.”

I almost stopped breathing.
Please stop being wonderful.
I felt my face getting warm and noticed the proximity between us.
He didn’t seem to notice.
I gathered my thoughts and pulled away from him and stood up.

“I uh better go get ready for bed we have a long day tomorrow.”
“Alright I’ll clean up here.”
“Ok.”

I’m sorry my poor heart, I know it’s hard but we will make it through somehow.