Nobody Said It Was Easy

“Just a goodbye kiss,” she sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat. She turned her head to look at Harry again, laughing. It was empty and it was humorless, and it didn’t reach her eyes. “But you didn’t say goodbye, Harry. You just left.”

Harry’s eyes found his shoes, studying the laces that had come undone, and needed retying. His life needed retying.

“That’s what you do best though, isn’t it?” Haley’s eyes never left Harry. “Leave?”

“I’m so sorry,” Harry whispered. “Haley, I am so, so sorry.”

Now Haley looked away. “Me too.”

Harry took this as a win, almost. Not a victory, but it was something. He took a few steps towards her, and she watched each step warily. She didn’t move away though, which was good enough. For Harry, it was good enough.

“Can we maybe,” he spoke quietly, looking and hoping to meet her eyes. “Maybe, start over?”

Haley’s eyes slid over to Harry’s. She examined his face, wondering if he was serious. He was. She smiled, lightly, and nodded. Harry exhaled in relief, and broke into a wide smile, showing his dimples. Haley loved his dimples, she would miss his dimples.

Harry offered her his hand, the confidence of Harry Styles back in his demeanor. “I’m Harry,” he said calmly, introducing himself for the second time. Haley smirked, raising an eyebrow and shaking his hand.

“Haley.”

“So, Haley,” Harry didn’t have to try to remember his lines, the first words he’d ever said to her. That day, that moment, was the beginning of the rest of his life, and he’d remember it forever. Every word, every smile, every breath. It was like his favorite play, and he’d long since memorized his lines. “I was wondering, maybe you’d like to go out sometime? I know this great café, Café Styles –clothing is optional.”

And this is the part where she would smile in shock, look around at her friends, look back at Harry, and giggle shyly before nodding her hand. And they’d exchange numbers, and he’d walk away and look back to catch her staring and wink, and it’d be happy ever after

“Actually,” Haley said slowly, biting her lip in embarrassment. Harry raised an eyebrow, that wasn’t her line. “I’m kind of seeing someone, so sorry.”

Harry dropped her hand, as well as his smile. He stumbled back a step, looking at Haley incredulously.

“You’re serious?” He asked quietly. Haley nodded, her eyes raking over the boy sadly.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Why?” Harry demanded. “Why?”

“You left too early, you didn’t come fast enough. Take your pick.” She blinked, and Harry could see the tears collecting in her eyes, sitting on her lashes and occasionally committing suicide, and falling to the ground. “It’s too late.”

“No,” He said softly, shaking his head. “No, it- it’s not too late it can’t be. I love you-“

“I know Harry.”

“-And when two people love each other as much as we do, they stay together.”

“You’re right,” she agreed, her voice cracking. “They stay, you didn’t.”

“But I came back!” He argued. “Because, when two people are supposed to be together they always find their way back to each other. Always. I came back.”

Haley looked away sharply, somehow tricking herself into thinking that if she couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see her. And if he couldn’t see her, he couldn’t see the steady stream of tears pouring down her pretty face.

But Harry could see her, and he watched her struggle her tears. She always hated crying, and he hated her crying. But unlike any other time, he couldn’t fix it, he couldn’t fix her. He couldn’t fix this.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, and she nodded. She knew he was sorry, she did. And she was sorry as well, sorry she had a boyfriend now; sorry she had forced herself to move on –or pretended to move on. She was so sorry, it was too late.

Harry turned to leave, making his way to the stairs. It killed him, and he knew it would, but he did it anyways. She’d forgotten her lines, her stage directions, but he hadn’t forgotten his. He looked back to catch her staring, except she wasn’t. She was still looking away, holding herself together. This wasn’t how it went; this wasn’t the show they’d once been stars in. Harry looked ahead of him, walking away with a heavy heart.

Haley listened as his footsteps walked away, and when she was sure he was gone, she slipped to her knees and cried harder.

It wasn’t fair, none of it. It wasn’t fair how much he loved her, how perfect they were for each other. It wasn’t fair that he left, or that she was alone, or that she found someone else that was so, so good for her. It wasn’t fair, how much better he was for her than Harry ever was –it wasn’t fair that, against all odds, she didn’t care; she wanted Harry, no matter how bad he was. It wasn’t fair that she still loved him, nor that she always would.

It was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do, turning him away, watching him leave all over again. Knowing that it was her fault this time, and that he could still be with her if she’d let him, tore her apart. Harry was her first love, her only love, and all she wanted was for him to be her last.

They were supposed to go all the way, this show was supposed to go all the way to Broadway; win awards and go down in history. They were supposed to go down in history.

Harry watched her from the door, unable to make himself leave –not again. He would wait until she was ready to face him, face the truth, and face herself. He would wait until she remembered her lines.