I Never Told a Lie, and That Makes Me a Liar

It had been a few nights since I blew up at that fan. Zack was kinda pissed at me for being such a bitch to a fan, but he didn't know or understand what was going on. I hadn't let him see. Twitter was fuming at me, which, on the surface, I made no note of, but inside I was screaming. Some nights, when Zack had a band party, I would lay in the bus and cry myself to sleep. I knew I had fucked up, royally, but I could not fix it the way he wanted me to. Not without telling him. Not without showing him.
One night, I was really bad off and I locked myself in the bathroom for three hours while the boys and Jess were out. That's the night the real trouble began.
"Leila?" I heard a familiarly warm voice through the bathroom door that made me tingle. I half smiled and sighed, opening the door to the sweet boy on the other side.
"Hey Alex," I said, trying to fake a huge grin.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" His smile faded. So did mine. My eyes brimmed with tears, yet again. I spilled everything.
"...and I just fucked everything up and I can't fix it. The only way to tell him is to show him, and I can't do that." I finished.
"Show him what?" Was Alex's only question.
"My scars." I replied in a quiet whisper, looking away from him hoping he wouldn't hear.
"...Show him. He loves you. Nothing is going to change." He held my hands as he told me this. I ha never felt so assured. Alex had a power over me that I had never experienced. As I looked up at him through my choppy brown bangs, I saw an angel. Every element of him shone and his eyes glowed with strength and trust. I wanted to kiss him. I really wanted to. This was the second time he had come to my rescue. I leaned in. As I did that though. Alex let go of my hands and turned away.
"No. This isn't right." He said.
"I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." I flashed back to reality. What the fuck was I saying 'I wanted to kiss Alex'? I loved Zack and only Zack.
Only Zack, right?
Oh shit, what was my poor teenage life coming to?
I shook the thoughts from my head and looked back at Alex, who was facing the wall, chewing on his nails.
"Thank you Alex." I finally said, and I kissed his check and walked out of the bus, into the warm California air, only to bump into Jack, and simultaneously, Jess. I smiled big and greeted each of them.
"Where are you off to m'lady?" Asked Jess in her fabulous faux British accent.
"I'm actually going to find Zack, you know where I can find him?" I replied.
"Over yonder, that-a-way." Jess pointed over her left shoulder.
"Awesome, thanks!" I hugged her quickly and sprinted off to find my love. Alex was right. I had to show Zack. I had to tell him everything. It wouldn't change anything, Zack loved me, just as much as I loved him.
Everything was going to be great.
Right?