Lone Survivors

I ran outside of the farmhouse, high on alert because of all of the shouting. Were we under attack? What was going on? I joined the group of people yelling, something to do with there being Walkers in the barn. Shane was clearly angry about the matter and was passing out guns to people. He saw me approaching slowly, anxiously glancing at the barn, and held out a gun and some ammo. I recognised it as the pistol I had had when I arrived here.

“Shane, don’t,” Rick ordered and I scowled with annoyance. Why wasn’t I allowed my gun back? I quickly grabbed it before Shane reconsidered and checked it was ready to go while moving forwards. Some target practice wouldn’t hurt. “This is unnecessary, Shane! Don’t do it!” Shane seemed to ignore the leader’s words and just stormed up to the barn door before opening it and running back to the rest of us that had weapons. And then they came out. The undead slowly exited the barn and I gripped onto my gun tighter. Focus Mandy… They won’t get to you… The creatures were picked off one by one as Hershel wept and called out for us to stop. But none of us did. We couldn’t. They were such a threat. How could anyone keep them ‘alive’?

Rick eventually joined us, keeping what appeared to be a close eye on me. As I targeted the zombies, I became suspicious of him. He really didn’t trust me. Maybe as an unarmed woman who just hung around the campsite and did chores, but not once I had a weapon. I shot one of the last ones in the head and then lowered my pistol, allowing better shooters to get the few that were still standing. And then a zombified girl came out. The sight alone was nearly enough to make me sick. That poor, poor girl… The adults were bad enough, but this was my first time seeing a child so decayed. Carol cried out from behind me and I turned to face her. She was collapsed on the ground with Daryl’s arms around her, holding her protectively. I felt my stomach sink a little at the sight, seeing his care for her as he attempted to comfort her.

It all became too much. There were zombies everywhere and they were dangerous, the group didn’t trust or accept me, and now Daryl was getting closer to someone else. What had I been thinking, that there was something between us because he massaged me? All he was doing was showing his appreciation for my help when he was wounded, that was all. There was no secret meaning behind it! Annoyed at myself, I walked past Andrea, giving her my gun, and continued back to the campsite. I climbed into my tent and lied down with a big sigh, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. Would it be a good idea to leave this farm? Go back out there on my own? Could I really risk doing that? I had nothing before I came here, nothing and no one, but that hadn’t changed. I was still alone.