Walking Travesty

Lina's POV:

We stay at Emily's until she kicks us out around ten. On the drive to his house he blasts Third Eye Blind, and we yell the words at each other as obnoxiously as possible.
When we pull into his driveway I notice the lack of cars. "My parents went out of town for their anniversary, " he says, answering the question I hadn't asked.
My heart starts doing some weird gymnastic moves and I say a simple, "Oh," as we get out of his car and walk inside the empty house.
"You hungry?" he asks as he leads me into the kitchen.
"Nah." I can't figure out why I'm feeling so shy all of a sudden. We just felt so... Alone.
I sit at the kitchen table and watch him as he makes himself a sandwich. He soon sits across from me and starts eating like he hasn't seen food in weeks. "You okay?" he asks once the food has disappeared.
I lift one shoulder. "Yeah, why?"
"You're being really quiet." he stands and puts his plate in the sink, then sits back down.
"I'm just tired," I say, thinking that's a more reasonable answer than telling him I'm suddenly feeling anxious for no reason.
He accepts that, and stands again. "We can go to bed," he says as he takes my hand and pulls me up with him, and my stomach starts churning again.
We walk upstairs and into his room where he digs through his drawers until he comes out with a t-shirt and boxers for me. I start to pull my shirt off, but I remember the new cuts on my hips and stop. "Turn around," I instruct, making him grin, but he does.
I quickly change from my clothes into his, then sit on his bed and watch him pull his shirt and jeans off. "So you're allowed to see me in my underwear, but I can't see you in yours," he teases as he lays down next to me.
I smirk down at him. "Yup."
"Sexism," he says with a pout.
"Pretty much."
He rolls his eyes and props himself on his elbows. "You're mean."
I smile and smooth out his messy hair. "I know."
"And you look strangely hot in my clothes."
I laugh and try to control the heat in my face. "I'm flattered."
He grins, then kisses me once. "I'm really glad we're back together," he says before kissing me again.
I smile into the kiss before returning it, and feel his fingers lace with mine and move my hand above my head.
He pulls away just a little and studies me for a minute.
My cheeks turn warm under his scrutiny, "What?" I ask curiously.
He smiles and starts to say something, then changes his mind and kisses me again, then lies down beside me and buries his head in the crook of my neck. "You smell really good," he murmurs against my shoulder.
I smile and roll over so I'm facing him. "We should go to bed."
He kisses my neck softly and his hand rests on my hip, and I'm faintly aware that the only thing hiding my cuts from his fingertips is a small bit of clothing. "I'm not tired," he says as his fingers play with the hem of my shirt.
I instinctively pull away from him, then smile at his confused face. "I am," I lie before ducking my head so it rests just under his chin.
I feel his chest move as he laughs and I fidget uncomfortably when his fingers brush under my shirt. "I thought you never sleep."
I smile a little, but continue to lie. "Shhh. I'm sleeping."
His fingers brush against the small of my back, sending a shiver down my spine.
The horny teenager part of me wants to rip off my clothes, but I can't.
He'll be pissed if he finds out I cut again
His hand ventures towards my hip, but I stop it with my hand. "Stop touching me while I sleep," I tease. "Bordering creepy there."
He laughs and kisses the top of my forehead. "Fine, be lame and go to sleep."
I smile and nestle my face into his chest.
His hand rubs soothing circles in my back, and I actually start slipping into sleep, nearly unaware that my shirt had ridden up a little, until Alex hand stops.
"Lina?" his worried voice drags me from sleep and I lift my head up to look at the boy who's not looking at my face.
I follow his gaze to my hip that's covered in scars, and a few fresh cuts. I quickly pull the shirt down. "Lex, it's not what it looks like," I falsely assure him. "I um, went over my cousins and her cat-"
"Lina," he interrupts me, and I finally make eye contact with him. The look in his eyes makes me hate myself. The disappointment is evident, and I want more than anything to make it disappear. "I thought you stopped."
I look away from him again, and suddenly his wall becomes very interesting. "I won't do it again," I promise, even though that's all I want to do right now.
How could you let him find out? Now he's going to worry and pity you
I feel his arms wrap around me, but I stay frozen. "Lina, you're better than this," he says as he hugs me tightly.
I want more than anything to melt into him, and cry and apologize, but I don't let myself. "I won't do it again," I repeat.
"If you ever want to, just... Call me. Or punch me. Whatever makes you feel better."
"Punching you always makes me feel better," I joke with a halfhearted laugh.
"Lin, I'm serious."
I nod and pull away from him, and lay back down. "I'm tired," I say with a yawn, then turn my back to him.
I hear him let out a sigh, then he turns the light off and lays next to me.
His arm hugs me against him, and I can practically feel the worry and disappointment radiating from him.
Good job, Lina. Good job