Perfect for Me

I said good night to Sarah and Ashley and went to my bedroom. I locked my door and proceded toward my bathroom. I flipped on the light switch and looked at myself. I finally came to realize what Sarah didn't see in me; everything. I wasn't what she wanted. But Ashley on the other hand, he was charming, had an amazing body, and cocky attitude. Jinxx, he was smart, outgoing, and funny. Me? I wasn't any of those things. I was shy, secretive, and anxious. Who would want someone like that?
"You're a disappointment, Andrew Biersack." I said to myself.
I flinched at my own hateful words. They struck with just the right amount of venom. As I reached for the handle of the drawer, I watched myself in the mirror. I grabbed the razor blade and ran it under hot water before I pulled down the side of my PJ pants with my left hand. On my right hand, I took the blade and started carving a fucked up heart on my hip. The beads of crimson collected nicely as I admired it in the mirror. My shakey hand replaced the blade in the drawer before I grabbed the rag and cleaned up the heart. I placed a gauze pad over it and lined the edges with medical tape, making sure it would stick. After I was finished, I pulled the side of my pants back up, and turned the light off.
Walking to my bed, I looked at all the pictures I had from Warped Tour. There was a picture of CC, Jinxx, Ashley, Jake, Sarah, and I, that an obsessed fan said that they would take for us. I ran a finger next to Sarah's face, and smiled as a tear ran down my face.
"Pull yourself together," I said.
I proceded toward my bed and crawled in. I pulled the blanket up just under my armpits and switched my lamp off. My room was completely dark and I finally had time to think. But I didn't get to think for long before sleep consumed me.