Open Your Eyes

It never occurred to me that I would be one of those people who needed someone else to feel at home. To feel safe. But I was. And I realized that now.

Liam was the one I needed to feel at home. He made me feel safe. He made me feel like I belonged. Like I finally belonged somewhere without having to try. With James it was different. He never made me feel safe or at home or like I belonged. I had to try for that stuff. I tried my hardest, but even with that, I still didn't feel a hundred percent safe or at home or like I belonged.

Harry was different. He was family. He made me feel that way regardless. But it was different then the way Liam made me feel. Liam made me feel something I had never felt before. Not this long anyway. My stomach did flips. My head got dizzy. My heart went crazy. My hands started sweating. It was like I wasn't in control of my body anymore. But that didn't bother me. I was slowly coming to the conclusion that I loved him. The only other person I had loved was James...and Jude Law, but that was in Year Six and didn't count. He captured my heart in the film, The Holiday and had it ever since. School girl crushes don't count. But this, this did. It wasn't just a school girl crush, it was more then that. I loved Liam.

"Happy birday" Presley called out. It was no ones birthday. She was an odd child. She came trotting in the living room with her baby doll in her hand. She was holding it by the foot as it's head drug on the floor as she walked. Oh my god. Harry took one look at her and busted out laughing, throwing his head back against the couch.

"Please don't have anymore kids, Lenna," he managed to say. "She will have them hung from the ceiling fans."

I rolled my eyes. "She wouldn't do that. She's too sweet." Right after I said that, she lifted the doll and tossed it across the room. "Okay, I take that back. But I don't plan on having anymore kids anytime soon, so don't worry."

Paul and Preston chuckled from their spots around the living room. Liam chuckled and pulled me closer into him. My body was molded into his side and my head was resting on his chest. I felt at home. I felt safe. I felt like I belonged.

"What would you name your next kid if you had one?" Harry questioned. I had always thought about that. Three kids was my max. No more. I could only take so many children as once. But I knew what I would name them. I grinned. "I've had this figured out since I was like, thirteen," I answered. "Barrett or Rigby for a boy. For a girl, Harlow or Henley."

"Why such odd names?" Paul asked. I shrugged, glancing over at him. "I have an odd name and so does Presley, so I figured if might as well give my future child or children odd names," I replied. "We'll be an odd bunch!"


"Can we fast forward to where this is all over?" I asked quietly.

Liam hummed, his hand moving to rest under my shirt on my hip. "When it's all taken care of, we should go on vacation. To Greece or Paris or Mexico or Hawaii. Presley can come too. She'd love it! I've never been there but I hear they have these massive resorts with kiddy pools and all this other cool stuff. We'd have so much fun."

That sounded lovely. But the paparazzi. I can see the headlines now. 'Boy bander Liam Payne on romantic vacation with band mates cousin? And her daughter? WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?! Is she using sweet, puppy eyes Liam for some kind of fame?' I would love to go, but I don't think his management would be quite fond of him being photographed with a girl who's the mother of a two year old and who just seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"That sounds amazing," I mumbled. "But your management wouldn't like that. I don't want to upset them or anything."

He sighed. "Fuck management. They don't control me."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "In a sense, they do." I scooted back on the bed a bit to where I could prop my head up with my arm to get a good look at him. "You're under contract and all that. And I don't want to put Pres in the public eye anymore then she has to be. I know how cruel people can be and I don't want her growing up, knowing what it's like to be judged by people she doesn't even know. We can stay here and I'd be perfectly fine." By the time I finished I had all of his attention.

He looked deep in thought. That could be good or bad. But with the way his nose was scrunching up and his forehead was wrinkling in certain spots lead me to believe it was bad. God. What did I just do? He hadn't even been here for two days and I was mucking it up.

"Li?" He blinked his dark chocolate eyes before looking me in the eyes. "If this is too much for you, just say something. Say the word and I'll leave you alone. I'll be gone," he spoke lowly.

What?

Before I could even open my mouth he was speaking again. "Don't feel like you have to stay with me. As much as I love you, I would let you go if that's what you wanted. I don't —"

I cut him off. "You love me?"

His face flushed. His head lolled to the side and he buried his face in his pillow. He said something but it was a muffled mess. The pillow was more then likely getting all slobbery from him trying to speak with it shoved up against that gorgeous face of his. I laughed quietly, shoving his shoulder. "Don't be embarrassed, babe," I spoke, poking his ribs.

When he made no movement, I spoke up. "I love you too."

His head jerked up so fast, I thought he might have given himself whiplash. His eyes were shining with excitement and question. "For real?!"

Nodding, I said, "For cereal." He took in a deep breath and leaned his head into mine, planting a small kiss on my lips. I gave in the minute his lips touched mine, immediately kissing back. His lips meshed with mine made me sigh into his mouth.

I snaked my hands around his back as his grabbed my bum. It wasn't long before his tongue was forced into my mouth and swirling with my own. He gripped my bum tighter as he swiftly pulled me on top of him. We never separated once. My lips moved from his mouth and ghosted over his jaw, down to his neck. A loud moan emitted from him when I rolled my hips into his mixed with me paying extra attention to that certain spot on his next. His smooth fingers brushed my stomach when he gripped my shirt and tugged on it. Pulling away, I gripped the bottom of the shirt and pulled it over my head, tossing it somewhere in the room. He paused a second, holding me back.

"Are you sure?" He asked, looking me straight in the eyes. "Do you really want to do this?"

I immediately nodded. "Of course."


Someday, we'll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us pain. We will finally realize that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time.

After all, what matters is not the first, but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race.

So smile, laugh, forgive, believe, and love all over again.