Status: this is not going to be continued for a bit
Without You, There is No Me
one
The first time we meet we don’t actually meet. I’m at a group counseling thing for depressed teenagers.
I see him staring and I glance over at him and turn away when he doesn’t break his stare. He almost looks angry. I don’t learn his name until after he learns mine.
“I’m Cat, I’m 16 and I recently had ovarian cancer. I, um, tried to commit suicide last year and I’ve been coming here ever since.” I shared.
“I’m Vic, I’m 17 and I’m here because my life sucks.” They boy said.
“Would you like to go more in depth?” the group counselor asked.
“No.” was his answer. Ok then. At the end of the session he walks beside me and opens all the doors we go through for me (there are five.) I thank him each time, but he doesn’t say anything just nods then moves his bangs out of his eyes. Then that’s it. He gets in a car with who I assume is his mother, and leaves.
~
The next time we see each other is at the grocery store. He’s there with a taller boy getting simplicities like milk and cereal. I’m suddenly embarrassed to be with my mom. I don’t look at him the entire time we’re in the same aisle (can I just say that my mom took an unusually long time in the cereal aisle.) He sees me though because all of a sudden he stops talking.
I liked his voice it was deep for him. He was skinny and kind of short and I thought his voice would be a bit higher.
He obviously doesn’t want me to hear or see him because then he’s gone.
~
Our next group meeting is a week later and he sits by me. I get warm on the inside because there were other seats. He’s the first to share this week.
“Vic, 17, I tried killing myself a year ago today. It’s getting better though, I can talk to people and not feel like I want to die. I listen to music and that’s what’s making me better I think.”
“That’s very good Vic, thank you for sharing.” The counselor says. I don’t want to today so I wait for everyone to share and hope they forget about me. “Cat, your turn,”
“Cat, 16, and um I just want to die a lot.” And with that the tanner boy stares again, but it’s time to leave and I don’t bother to wait for him today.
~
I wake up in the middle of the night to a shooting pain in my left side. I start to panic because there’s a possibility I could have another cancerous ovary which would be my last one. The pain starts to go away after I take painkillers so I decide to take more and just go to sleep.
I see him staring and I glance over at him and turn away when he doesn’t break his stare. He almost looks angry. I don’t learn his name until after he learns mine.
“I’m Cat, I’m 16 and I recently had ovarian cancer. I, um, tried to commit suicide last year and I’ve been coming here ever since.” I shared.
“I’m Vic, I’m 17 and I’m here because my life sucks.” They boy said.
“Would you like to go more in depth?” the group counselor asked.
“No.” was his answer. Ok then. At the end of the session he walks beside me and opens all the doors we go through for me (there are five.) I thank him each time, but he doesn’t say anything just nods then moves his bangs out of his eyes. Then that’s it. He gets in a car with who I assume is his mother, and leaves.
~
The next time we see each other is at the grocery store. He’s there with a taller boy getting simplicities like milk and cereal. I’m suddenly embarrassed to be with my mom. I don’t look at him the entire time we’re in the same aisle (can I just say that my mom took an unusually long time in the cereal aisle.) He sees me though because all of a sudden he stops talking.
I liked his voice it was deep for him. He was skinny and kind of short and I thought his voice would be a bit higher.
He obviously doesn’t want me to hear or see him because then he’s gone.
~
Our next group meeting is a week later and he sits by me. I get warm on the inside because there were other seats. He’s the first to share this week.
“Vic, 17, I tried killing myself a year ago today. It’s getting better though, I can talk to people and not feel like I want to die. I listen to music and that’s what’s making me better I think.”
“That’s very good Vic, thank you for sharing.” The counselor says. I don’t want to today so I wait for everyone to share and hope they forget about me. “Cat, your turn,”
“Cat, 16, and um I just want to die a lot.” And with that the tanner boy stares again, but it’s time to leave and I don’t bother to wait for him today.
~
I wake up in the middle of the night to a shooting pain in my left side. I start to panic because there’s a possibility I could have another cancerous ovary which would be my last one. The pain starts to go away after I take painkillers so I decide to take more and just go to sleep.
♠ ♠ ♠
this is new and idk wtf im doing w/ mibba so bare with me if u actually read this