Maybe I Will

That night, I didn't sleep at all. I just sat in the bathroom, and cried in a ball. I hugged my knees to my chest and let it all out. I had definitely fallen into depression once more. Oh, great! What is wrong with me? Just because I like a boy, I flip out over it. The slightest of things have been setting me off on depressing tangents of crying and cutting, and I didn't like where that was headed one bit. I dried my eyes, although the tears kept on coming, and cried myself to a sort of limbo between awake and asleep. Before I knew it, two thirty came around. I didn't bother to put on any eye makeup, considering I was crying. My skin was clear already, so I was good on that part. I just threw on some chapstick, not even bothering to look at myself in the mirror. My blonde hair was still untangled and straight, strangely enough, so I just threw it into a messy bun and slipped on a cyan ribbed tank top and dark wash skinny jeans. Almost as if on cue, the door bell rang. I dried my eyes, and, hoping I would no longer cry, very quickly put on a tiny bit of eyeliner and a tiny bit of mascara to cover the red rims of my eyes. I opened the door quickly, and saw only Dan at the door.

"Hey," I said, allowing him to step in.

"Hi," he said, his dimples showing through his grin. God, he was making me weak at the knees. Please stop. I can NOT fall for you. "Um, Phil couldn't make it. He had to unpack some things. Sorry."

"No, that's fine," I said with a smile. "Do you want anything?"

"I'm alright, thanks," he said politely, taking a seat at a bar stool, after gaining my permission. Man, he was polite. And cute. And perfect. Stop!

"Well, don't be afraid to ask for anything," I said with a smile in response. "Do you mind if I vlog? The fans are bugging me for a video."

"You're asking permission?" he asked with a chuckle, almost incredulously.

"Hey, you asked if you could sit down!" I said, and we both laughed.

I flipped out my camera and began to sign on, introduce the video, and so on. "Well, guys, I have a new friend here with me today!" I turned the camera to face Dan. "Say hi to the internet!"

"Hello, internet!" he said with a smile.

"Subscribe to him, I'll put the links in the description. Anyway, thought I'd just update you guys real quick on what's been going on. Thanks to all of you who came to the meet up. It means a lot than I was mobbed by you guys, so thanks again. Love you, bye!" I kissed the camera and shut it off.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Dan said.

"Well, let's get to know each other a bit, I guess," I said. "What's your favorite color?"

"Orange," he said. "Yours?"

"This color, whatever you might call it," I said, pointing at my cyan blue tank top.

He let out a chuckle, and stared at my wrist, looking confused. "I have an idea. Let's play truth or dare."

I let out a gulp, knowing I had forgotten to cover up my cuts. I had to go along with it, though. "Yeah, okay."

"Alright. I'll ask you first."

I nodded nervously. Something told me no matter what I picked, I was screwed.

"Truth? Or dare?"

"Dare," I said, and took a large gulp of air.

He nodded and gestured towards my cuts. "I dare you to tell me why you cut."

I took another deep gulp. This was going to take a lot of explaining.