Maybe I Will

That night, I walked out of my apartment in a hurry. The air was slightly windy, considering that it was, after all, midnight. I jumped into my car and bought some razors. I assumed that people would think it was for shaving, but I knew the truth. These were a form of me breaking my promise to Dan. Tonight, I knew i would kill myself. Nothing could stop me. I felt bad in the back of my mind, because, what if Dan really liked me? He'd be sad, Joey would be sad, and Phil would be sad. My fans would be over-the-top upset. But, I shook the thoughts away. It was my problem. I had to leave it all behind. Life isn't for everyone, and maybe I just wasn't one of those people it was meant for. When I got back to my apartment, I unlocked the door and searched hastily for a pen and paper. When I finally found a notepad and a black pen, I quickly scrawled a letter.

"Dear... Whoever,

If you're reading this, I'm either already dead or in the process. Don't hep me. I made this mess on my own, and it's time to clean it up. Sure, you might say this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it runs much deeper than that. All of the shit I've gone through through a measly 21 years is too much for me to handle. I'm on my own, no matter what anyone says otherwise. I've always been on my own in my head. Say I was crazy, a maniac, say whatever you want. I'm not. I just needed help, and I found it. But, I'm scared to go on. So, here's to it.
Joey, you're the most amazing friend I could have ever asked for, honestly. You've been there for me through everything, even if you had no clue what was going on."

At this point in writing the letter, the pen was starting to run down the paper from my tears. My hands were shaky, but that didn't stop me.

"So, thank you. I can't ever thank you enough for being more than a best friend, more like a brother, to me. I love you.
Then, to Phil. I haven't known you long, but you've been an amazing friend nonetheless. So, here's to you, buddy. Thanks for being there. I can't say much about you, but you really were amazing, just as the channel says. I love you.
Finally, to Dan. This is not your fault. Don't even think about blaming yourself. I know yuo will. I haven't known you long, but hey, I fell for you. I admit it. You're perfect. You were a great friend, but I was scared of moving further. I couldn't deal with it. You were hilarious, friendly, sweet. You got me to stop cutting. I know I'm breaking the promise, but it's for the better. I love you.
And, to whoever's reading this. My family. Other friends, everyone. I love all of you, no matter what. But this is the end for me. For the better.
Goodbye.

Love sincerely,
Hannah E. Warren

I put down the pen and bawled. This really was the end for me. Did I really want this? I stared at the letter in my hand, the tears now silently dripping down my face and onto the paper. I glanced over to the bathroom. I had to. I grabbed the razors. When I got into the bathroom, I took a shaky breath and took out a bottle of painkillers. I poured about ten into my hand, and swallowed them. The world got fuzzy after about five minutes, so I had to cut now while I was still alive. I grabbed the razors and cut each scar over again. I did make a new one, however. It was small, on my side of my foot. It was in choppy cuts, reading out the word "Worthless". As soon as I finished, I fell to the floor, my world turning into black nothingness.