Take Your Hand And Walk Away

“It’s already been a month,” I whispered angrily into the receiver.

“What can I say I liked Hawaii more than I thought I would,” Kayla answered lazily.

“Well then move there,” I said exhaustedly.

“And leave Zacky,” she said sounding offended. I rolled my eyes.

“What about your daughter she misses you,” I said. It wasn’t exactly true though. Casey seemed just as happy staying here with me. The truth was I loved that little girl. We had bonded a lot over the weeks.

“Casey will be fine, tell her I love her,” Kayla demanded.

“Tell her yourself,” I mumbled.

“I cant I’m meeting my friends at a bar,” she said. I sighed running my hand down my face. “It’s just one more week and remember don’t tell Zacky.” With that she hung up leaving me upset.

The truth was I didn’t mind have Casey around. I actually liked it a lot. She was so cute, and sweet, and she made me feel more ready to be a mother too. At the same time I felt bad for not telling Zacky and I knew Casey didn’t belong with me. The more I bonded with her the more wrong it felt. I shouldn’t even know her.

Kayla had begged me not to tell Zacky and truthfully I didn’t want to tell him anyway. I didn’t know how he would react and I liked keeping secrets from him, since he did it to me so much.

“Who was it,” Casey asked peeking her head through the door. I smiled at her.

“No one important,” I answered as she walked into the room crawling on the bed sitting next to me.

“Your tummy is getting bigger,” she said placing her hand on my growing stomach.

“Yeah,” I answered looking down on my stomach. I hadn’t explained to her that he would be her brother yet.

“What are we doing today?” she asked, I shrugged.

“What do you want to do today sweetie?” I asked looking at her smiling face.

“Beach,” she screamed. I laughed shaking my head.

“That’s what you want to do everyday,” I reminded her.

“I love it,” she said jumping off the bed. I laughed.

“I love it too, let’s go get ready,” I answered standing up and walking to the door, while she stood in the middle of the room.

“You know what else I love?” she asked. I turned around to look at her.

“What?” I asked expecting her to say ice cream.

“You,” she answered making me heart melt.

“I love you too,” I said after a few moments. She laughed running and giving me a hug. I picked her up carefully. She reminded me so much of Zacky. “your just like your daddy,” I said tickling her stomach.

“Good cause I don’t want to be like my mommy,” she said making me laugh. I set her back on the ground.

“Cant blame you there, now go get ready,” I said. I watched as she ran off to the room that had become hers. I sighed, not knowing what I should be feeling.

“Be careful,” I yelled as Casey ran to play in the water. I laid down on the beach watching her play. I suddenly felt extremely tired. I tried to keep my eyes open, but they felt so heavy I slowly closed them…..

“Mommy,” was yelled making my eyes shoot open. I recognized the voice. I shot up looking at Casey on the ground crying. I ran over to her picking her up and taking her back to where I had been laying down.

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly.

“My elbow hurts,” she said as a few tears left her eyes. I looked at her elbow seeing a very small cut. I kissed it softly.

“Feel better?” I asked. She nodded hugging me. “Do you want to go home?” I asked.

“I guess,” she said unsure. I smiled.

“Do you want to go get ice cream first?” I asked her eyes brightened.

“Ice cream,” she yelled happily. I smiled.

A woman walked by looking down at Casey before looking up at me.

“Your daughter is so cute,” she said.

“oh uh……………thanks,” I said not sure of what else to say, that when I realized that she had called me mommy. I looked down at her smiling.

“I love this song,” Casey screamed from the backseat. I smiled turning up the radio.

“Me too,” I answered listening to Dear God on the radio. I laughed as Casey tried to sing a long to the song.

“You want to be a rock star like daddy?” I asked. She nodded.

“Yeah, then I can be rich and buy as much ice cream as I want,” she said making me shake my head smiling. I looked back at her in the mirror and saw her bopping her head to the song. I looked back at the road as we pulled onto our street.

That’s when I saw a car that I definitely recognized.

“Zacky,” I whispered wondering why he was home. Then I remembered he had a break from touring. I sighed mentally kicking myself for forgetting. I had no idea how I was going to explain everything to him, but I knew he would be mad.

I heard honking behind me and realized I had stopped driving. I sighed pulling into the driveway next to his car.

I sat in the car nervously.

“What’s wrong Jazzy?” Casey asked using the nickname she game me.

“Nothing sweetie,” I said stepping out of the car slowly.

I helped her undue her seat belt just as Zacky walked out of the house with a huge smile on his face. I could tell he had been waiting for me.

“Jas,” he said running over to me, just as I set Casey on the ground.

“Daddy,” she screamed running over to him. He smiled at her before looking at me questioningly.

“Sweetie,” he said giving her a kiss, before looking over at me.

“Oh yeah funny story,” I said hoping he wouldn’t get to mad.

“I cant believe you didn’t tell me,” he yelled. Thankfully Casey was upstairs coloring and hopefully couldn’t hear.

“Kayla didn’t want me to tell you,” I defended.

“Since when do you do what she wants?” he asked. I sighed looking up at him.

“I don’t know,” I muttered angrily.

“It’s just the moment we start lying to each other……….” he started. I glared at him.

“Do you really want to go down that road?” I asked. He shook his head. I sighed. “I should have told you I’m sorry,” I said. He sighed hugging me placing one of his hands on my stomach.

“How’s our baby?” he asked. I smiled.

“Good,” I answered.

“Thanks for taking care of Casey, I know it’s not your responsibility too,” he said. I shrugged.

“It was fun,” I answered.

“I hate to ask this, but when does Kayla come back?” he asked.

“Supposedly in a week,” I answered. He sighed giving me a kiss.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

This week had probably been the best week of my life. Zacky, Casey, and I had so much fun together. We almost felt like a real family. A messed up family, but a family nonetheless.

Casey and I sat crying looking at the television.

“I cant believe Bambi’s mom died,” Casey sobbed. I sighed letting a few tears fall from my eyes too.

“I know,” I said sadly. Zacky rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a movie,” he said, but I could swear I saw his eyes water a little too. I looked outside seeing it was getting dark.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” Zacky said standing up. I put the movie on paused and looked at the door. I almost let a few more tears fall from my eyes and Kayla walked through the door.

“Mommy,” Casey said jumping off the couch and running to her. I couldn’t help feeling as if Kayla didn’t deserve Casey.

“All good things come to and end,” I mumbled standing up.

I walked over to the awkward scene at the door.

I smiled as Matt and Val walked up to the door.

“Mattie,” I said running into his arms. Thankful to not have to talk to Kayla. I had always had a special relationship with matt. He was so awesome, definitely one of my best friends, and Val was the sweetest person in the world.

“Hey Jas,” he said hugging me back. I talked with Matt and Val for a few minutes, while Zacky and Kayla talked. We all got into a big group and Casey hugged Matt and Val. Zacky and Kayla were still fighting.

‘Let’s take this into the kitchen,” Val suggested pushing the two of them into a different room.

“So how has it been hanging out with Jas?” Matt asked Casey. She smiled up at me.

“Jazzy is the best,” she said hugging me.

“That she is,” Matt said. I looked at him weirdly.

‘Thanks,” I answered. I looked down at Casey.

“Casey do you want to show uncle Matt your drawings?” I asked. She nodded and took off up stairs to get them.

“So how have you been?” Matt asked.

I smiled placing my hand on my stomach which I did a lot.

“Good, really good,” I said. “How have you been, how’s things with you and Val?” I asked. I had heard they were engaged, but then I heard they called it off, so now I had no idea.

“Okay,” he said unsurely.

“Just okay?” I asked.

“Well it’s just lately……….” he stopped as Zacky, Kayla and Val, reentered the room.

“Sorry,” Zacky and Kayla said reluctantly. I laughed knowing that Val had made them say that. I knew she would be a great mom someday.

Casey bounced back into the room.

“Well what do you say we all go out to dinner,” Zacky suggested. Everyone nodded.

“Can me and mommy come too?” Casey asked innocently. I glared at Zacky who very reluctantly said yes. Kayla smiled starring at Zacky.

“Great,” she said.

‘We can take my car,” matt said. “We will all fit.” Matt had a very big car. We all piled in.

I sat in the car as everyone argued about what to get. I felt a little awkward as if I didn’t belong. I smiled as I felt a hand squeeze mine, I expected it to be Zacky’s but I was surprised to find out it was actually………………………….

“WATCH OUT FOR THAT CAR.”

Crash.