She's My Daisy in the Dust

I watched as Harry sat down opposite me in the empty cafeteria at the venue and placed his tea infront him like I had with mine.

“Excited for tonight?” I asked, I sounded like I didn’t know him. He shook his head and looked at the ceiling before taking a deep breath in.

“I can't just sit here and have tea with you. I’m falling for you. I know that last night didn't mean as much for you as it did for me, but I haven't stopped thinking about you since it happened, and not because it was great- which it was- but because it was right. It was so right, and you might not see that right now, but I do, and if I have to wait until we're both 80 years old for you to see it, then I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere. This is it for me. You're it for me, and I can't pretend to feel any less than I do, I just can't.” Harry sighed and rubbed the side of his hair and flicked it from his face.

I sighed and looked away from him, I could feel his eyes burning against the top of my head as I looked at my shoes.

“I…” I sighed bit my lip, “You…Ryan.”

“Ryan what?” Harry asked and I groaned.

“You don’t get it.” I shook my head, “nobody will ever get it.”
“And Ryan does?” he asked and I looked away from him.

“I don’t know what to say.” I told him looking straight into his eyes before looking away quickly, I could feel my knees getting weak, “it’s just easier if I stay with Ryan.”

“Easier?” Harry laughed bitterly, “you are picking him because it’s ‘easier’? Are you kidding me Blair?”

“I don’t need to explain myself to you Harry.” I glared at him.

“Yes, yes you do.” His jaw tightened as he looked at me.

“Why would I possibly need to explain myself to you?” I shook my head.

“Because last night you were kissing me like nobody else has ever kissed me, because last night when I told you that you were beautiful it was like no boy had ever said that to you, because last night we connected. We laid under those stars and you felt something like I did. I know that you felt it so don’t even try to deny it. Don’t run back to him.” Harry looked at me as I felt tears prick in my eyes.

“This is what you don’t get. I have to run.” I whispered helplessly, “I have to stay away from you.”

“Why? Because it’s too real for you? You told me you were a hopeless romantic that was hopeless at falling in love. Is this what this is about? You are too scared to fall in love with me?” he asked and I looked down as a tear fell down my face.

“Just stop it.” I whispered as tears fell down my face, “stop trying to get me to stay.”

“So you’re just going to walk away? You are going to walk out on me?” he asked and it hit a nerve. I looked at him and he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. I am, at least if I’m with Ryan I know he wont hurt me because if he walked out on me I know it wouldn’t hurt.” I said softly as tears fell down my face.

“What happened to you?” He asked softly as shook his head at me.

“I’m going home after the concert tonight.” I told him ignoring his question.

“Just because you walk out the door doesn’t mean you will leave the feelings behind, it doesn’t work like that.” Harry stepped forward and went to touch me but I stepped away.

“Plenty of people do it.” I told him as I winced at the pain of the memories flashing through my head.

I turned away and walked out of the room down the hall straight into Louis’ arms. He didn’t say anything, he just hugged me.

“I hate the fact you have to go home.” He groaned and I sighed.

“I wish I could stay.” I told him and squeezed him.

“Why can’t you?” he asked and I bit my lip.

“I need to go home and spend some time with my boyfriend.” I told him.

“I thought you were going to leave him?” he asked as Harry walked into the room, I avoided looking at him.

“I do really like Ryan, I don’t think it’s fair that I’m here when I feel like this. I need to go home and try and work it out.” I shrugged

I could feel the anger radiating off of Harry as he texted on his phone. I hadn’t mentioned anything to anybody about last night and the way everybody was acting I assumed that Harry hadn’t either. Niall kept looking between us curiously but I wasn’t answering any of his questioning looks. This was a secret I didn’t plan on telling anybody, not even Louis. I walked away from Louis and over to the table to grab a bottle of water, I felt an arm snake around my waist and grinned as I realized it was Zayn.

“I refuse to let you go.” He told me and I laughed.

“Do you now?” I raised an eyebrow and he nodded.

“Invite Ryan to come here!” Zayn suggested and Harry’s head snapped up to look at us.

“Yea!” Louis grinned as he walked over to us, “that is a good plan. I need to meet him, you need to see him and none of us want you to leave. Invite him here and at least that way he can see that he can also see he has nothing to worry about when you are with us.”

“I don’t know.” I bit my lip and looked at all the guys who were watching me, Harry looked a mixture between panic and disgust at the idea.

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” Niall shook his head as he watched Harry and my expressions, “I mean, he would feel uncomfortable meeting all of us and living with all of us. He doesn’t know any of us. I wouldn’t want to if I was him.”

“Stop ruining the plan Niall.” Liam rolled his eyes.

“I know what Niall means.” Harry’s jaw tightened slightly, “maybe it’s best if Blair goes home and gets this guy out of her system.”

“I’m surprised Haz, I thought you’d be like me and want Blair to stay.” Louis looked at him curiously, “you and Blair to spend a lot of time together. Don’t you want to meet the boy that Blair is dating?”

Harry looked and me as he shrugged.

“I think she should do whatever she wants.” He looked back down at his phone removing himself from the conversation.

They all looked back at me as I stood there feeling awkward.

“Maybe Niall is right.” I bit my lip, “living with you lot would be a lot to ask. He doesn’t know any of you.”

“How about you invite him down tomorrow and that way he can stay if he’s comfortable.” Liam suggested.

“Plan!” Louis pointed at Liam and Zayn nodded, “ring him now.”

“Oh.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

I felt Harry watch me as I dialed Ryan’s number, I didn’t want Ryan in the same room as Harry and I definitely didn’t want to be stuck between them.

“Hey babe.” Ryan answered cheerily, “how are you?”

“Good,” I smiled as I looked at my feet, he was a lovely guy “I have a question to ask you.”

“Go for it.” He sounded happy, I hated that I felt so guilty.

“Do you want to come down for the day tomorrow and stay if you want or we will go home together if not?” I blurted out and he chuckled.

“Sure. I’m excited to meet all of your new friends.” He commented, I narrowed my eyes slightly.

“They aren’t new friends Ryan. I have known Louis all my life.” I corrected him.

“Yea but he isnt exactly around a lot is he, I mean it must be like a new friendship.” He replied flippantly, I felt my jaw tense in irratation.

“It isn’t. He’s my best friend. Anyway, you’re coming right?” I asked.

“Yea I’ll get the first train tomorrow morning.” He told me, “I have to go, I love you Blair.”

“You too Ry.” I bit my lip and put the phone down, I looked up to see Harry shaking his head at his phone.

“He’s coming?” Zayn asked as the boys noticed I was off the phone, I nodded and they let out a happy cheer.

“We will be on our best behaviour so he can stay and we can keep you forever.” Louis flopped next to me on the sofa and I laughed.

“I love you Louis.” I rested my head on his shoulder and he laughed as he ruffled my hair.

“I love you too B.” he told me.

All the boys had to file out to change and warm up for the show. Harry was the last out but he avoided looking at me as he walked past me. I could help it, I grabbed his hand and pulled him back, the door closed and he turned to look at me.

“What do you want from me Blair?” he asked and I bit my lip.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered and he shook his head.

“For what exactly?” he asked sighing heavily.

“I don’t expect you to be okay with it and I don’t expect you to understand. I just can’t stand the idea of you hating me.” I sighed and looked at my feet.

“I could never hate you Blair, I told you that you were it for me. I know I can love you more than he ever can.” Harry pursed his lips, “I wish you could see that I wouldn’t walk out on you, I couldn’t walk out on you but I’m not going to lie that the fact you seem to be able to do the same to me hurts like hell.”

“I’m not walking out on you Harry.” I told him, “I’m still your friend.”

“That’s not the same and you know it.” He shook his head, “I have to go, there is a show I need to go sing in.”

“Good luck.” I said softly as he started to walk out the room, he looked back at me.

“Be sure to think of me when you’re kissing him.” He smirked, “I’m sure he’d notice that you were suddenly a lot more into him.”

I glared at his back as he walked out the door.