Wretches & Kings

She could not lose herself.

The thought resonated in her mind day after day. If she gave into burying her emotions, there would be no way to resurrect them again. She'd be lost, dismal, a living corpse all over again. Refusing to push aside emotions in the circumstance she was in was far past the word 'difficult'.

There were other women—Hyun Ae had seen them—but Doh-Chang's attention was solely on her, his newest toy. Every day was a new battle, one she was sure to lose. It was visible she fought, refused to give in, and Doh-Chang took great pleasure in her struggles. Two things kept Hyun Ae fighting, her emotions intact—the memory of Daesung and her new-found hatred for Taeyang. Taeyang's betrayal would not go unforgiven. Daesung's sacrifice, his affection towards her, would be the fuel she needed to go on.

Hyun Ae sat amonst the gold and maroon silks, consciousness far away in the past, a happier time. She should have told him. She should have spoken of what he meant to her, that she did feel the same way, returned his feelings. No matter how she'd denied it before, now that he was gone, it was painfully obvious.

A knock came at the door. “Enter,” Doh-Chang said from his desk. The door opened and young girl entered, balancing at tray of food and drink in her hands.

“Hyun Ae, come eat.”

“I'm not—” Hyun Ae's declaration was cut short by a small gasp.

Hyun Ae looked to the young girl and eyes widened. The girl stood, setting one of the glasses back on the tray that she'd barely saved; her eyes constantly flickered to Hyun Ae. The last time Hyun Ae had seen that face, it'd belonged to a small infant. But it was the same face, a face that recognized hers, the name.

The servant girl brought the tray over, unstable in action. Setting the tray down, she bowed and backed out of the room, eyes still studying Hyun Ae fleetingly. Hyun Ae dropped her own eyes to not arouse suspicion.

“Come eat.”

“No,” Hyun Ae answered even as her body rose and approached the table. She waited for Doh-Chang until he sat down before doing so herself.

“Eat,” Doh-Chang's eyes were on her, watching with joy as she stiffly served herself and—on command—him. “Isn't this better than the sewer you lived in?” he asked. “Amongst mangy barbarians and bastards; this life is so much better, isn't it?”

“Though mangy, they were far better people than you could ever hope to be.”

Doh-Chang chuckled and bit into the fresh dumpling. “Your fire is engrossing, Hyun Ae,” he said. “Never has someone been able to fight the drug like you.”

“I'm a rebellious person,” she said, eyes glaring dangerously at him. “Why don't you save yourself the trouble and kill me?”

“Because this is so much more fun,” he answered, smirking. Hyun Ae swallowed her disgust. Yes, it was more fun to use her and violate her. “Don't look at me like that,” Doh-Chang said with a slight simper. “You enjoy it as much as I do.”

“Enjoy you using me for your sexual desires?” she growled. “No, I'd prefer if you killed me.”

“And that's exactly why I won't,” came the answer.

Hyun Ae clutched the chopsticks in her hand, feeling an overwhelming amount of tears prickling at her eyes. But she refused to cry. Even when he violated her, hurt her. She would not cry in front of him.

When Doh-Chang finished his meal, he excused himself from the room, saying he had a meeting to attend. Gone from the room and out of her sight, Hyun Ae's eyes traveled over the plates and utensils in front of her, over the room. There was nothing deadly enough unless she wished to strangle herself with the drapes. However, no matter how much she wanted to die, she wanted it be quicker than that idea.

The door opened and Hyun Ae's head snapped to the side. Her eyes grew wide, softened, as the servent girl entered again. They looked at each other, studying the other as if to verify their thoughts. When they were, the girl ran forward and engulfed Hyun Ae in a ferocious embrace. Her body shook with silent sobs.

“I—I never th—thought I'd see you again,” she cried as Hyun Ae forced her arms to stiffly entrap the younger.

“You've grown so much,” was all Hyun Ae could say before her own eyes spilled over with tears. It'd been eight years since she'd been bought and the girl in her arms couldn't have even been five then.

“I'm sorry, Hyun Ae. I'm sorry this happened to you. I—”

Hyun Ae hushed her and clung tighter. “Its fine. How did you get here?”

The girl fell silent before leaning back to look into Hyun Ae's eyes, face wet with tears that Hyun Ae wiped away with her silk sleeves. “We lived good for a long time after you left, but...taxes got raised and...and they came again. Mother gave me and Hoon Si to them.”

Hyun Ae's hands slipped into her little sister's, forcing herself not to speak ill of their mother. “Chung Ae, do you know where they took Hoon Si?”

“I think he was sent to the fields, but...I don't know for sure.”

“Okay,” Hyun Ae said and forced a smile before gathering her little sister in a hug again. “I've missed you.”

“We've missed you too. Mother regretted it, you know.”

“Did she?” Hyun Ae questioned, resting her chin on Chung Ae's shoulder. “Did she really say that?”

“Everyday. She cried really loud when we left.”

“Good,” said Hyun Ae and pulled away. “Otherwise, what kind of mother would she be?”

Chung Ae frowned and her tiny hands on the sides of her sister's face. “Does he hurt you a lot?”

Hyun Ae's twitched to form another smile that would put worry at ease, placing her hands over the younger's. “We won't worry about that, alright? Hurry and pick up everything or the guards will come in.”

“I don't want to leave you.”

“I'll be fine,” Hyun Ae replied with a reassuring smile. “And so will you. Just do as they say and keep your head down.”

Chung Ae nodded and quickly began to pick up the previous meal. “Hyun Ae?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think we'll ever be free?”

“I don't know,” Hyun Ae answered truthfully. “But I know there's people out there that want to free us.”

“Will they help us?”

“If they can, yes.”

The little girl balanced the dirty dishes on the tray and bowed her head. “I want to see Mother again.”

“You will,” Hyun Ae answered tightly, a surge of defiance coming over her. She looked up at her little sister, that burning fierceness returned. “I swear this won't be your life for much longer.”