Never Say Goodbye
Chapter Five
Blaine slowly opened his eyes, wincing slightly as his body registered the sensation of a dull, throbbing pain.
Where am I? He wondered, turning his head slightly to look around. His eyes quickly fell on the monitor beside him and his heart started pounding, causing the lines on the screen to change. He knew where he was. The hospital. Suddenly everything came flooding back, what had happened, what he had done, the pain that he had felt.
Blaine slowly shut his eyes and leaned back into his pillow again. Tears quickly started to roll down his cheeks. Why had he done that? Why had he been so stupid?
"Blaine?" a voice suddenly said, making his eyes shoot open. He was suddenly aware of the touch of someone else's hand against his. He slowly turned towards the person sitting beside the bed that he was lying in and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Cooper," Blaine attempted a smile, lightly squeezing the hand holding his. A look of pure relief flooded his brother's face.
"You remember me," Cooper smiled.
"Of course I do," Blaine replied, slightly confused. "Why wouldn't I?"
"The doctor said that you... that you might not remember anything... or anyone..."
"How could I forget who my own brother is?" Blaine demanded. "Wait, why wouldn't I remember anything?"
"Blaine," Cooper sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Do you... do you remember what happened?" Blaine nodded slowly. "Well, Blaine, you... you died. You weren't breathing. And I thought we'd lost you forever. But then they said that they had resuscitated you and I was so relieved... But they also said that you could have possible brain damage because they weren't sure how long you'd been without oxygen... Oh Blaine, I was so scared that you were never going to wake up!" Cooper's hand tightened around Blaine's as tears started to flow from the older man's eyes.
"Look, I know that I haven't always been there for you," Cooper sobbed. "But please know that I'm always going to be here for you now, okay? I love you, Blaine. I'm your brother. I'm supposed to protect you so that things like this don't happen."
"You didn't know," Blaine sighed. "We hardly ever talked... And it's not like mom or dad would have told you because they didn't care. They never did."
"But that's the thing!" Cooper exclaimed. "I should have known! If we had just talked more, if you had known that you could come to me and talk about these feelings that you were having, I could have helped!"
"You can't control what people will do, Coop," Blaine shrugged. "I know that sometimes we might wish that we could, but we can't. And I don't think you could have helped me. You've never had to be in that same sort of position like I was. You don't know what it was like."
"Blaine, you're not the only one to have suffered from having your heart broken!" Cooper exclaimed. "Or did you forget about Lisa? The girl who left me for my best friend! I know what it's like to have your heart broken by someone that you love!"
"Wha-" Blaine started to respond, but was cut off when the door suddenly opened.
"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed, a look of pure relief and astonishment flashing across his face. "You're awake! You're alright!" Kurt almost ran over to the bed and threw his arms around Blaine, hugging him tightly though still being careful of his bandaged arm and his bruised neck.
"I was so worried that you would never wake up!" Kurt said as he pulled away and looked at Blaine. He was looking back at him with a look of confusion.
"Look, I know that I said that I never wanted to see you again, but I'm sorry," Kurt sighed. "Almost losing you made me realize how much I love you and I can't live without you, Blaine. I'm so sorry that you felt like you had no other choice than to do what you did, but I was going to forgive you the next time that you called but then you never called and..." He covered his mouth to try to keep the sob from slipping out.
Once he had calmed himself, he continued. "I can't lose you like that again, Blaine. I don't think that my heart could handle it." Blaine didn't say anything. All he did was stare at Kurt with a look of surprise. He blinked a couple times before slowly turning his head to look back at his brother.
"Coop?" Blaine said softly, his eyes quickly darting back and forth between the two men.
"What's wrong, Blaine?" Cooper asked, leaning closer.
Blaine slowly raised his right hand and pointed at Kurt.
"Who is he?"
Where am I? He wondered, turning his head slightly to look around. His eyes quickly fell on the monitor beside him and his heart started pounding, causing the lines on the screen to change. He knew where he was. The hospital. Suddenly everything came flooding back, what had happened, what he had done, the pain that he had felt.
Blaine slowly shut his eyes and leaned back into his pillow again. Tears quickly started to roll down his cheeks. Why had he done that? Why had he been so stupid?
"Blaine?" a voice suddenly said, making his eyes shoot open. He was suddenly aware of the touch of someone else's hand against his. He slowly turned towards the person sitting beside the bed that he was lying in and breathed a sigh of relief.
"Cooper," Blaine attempted a smile, lightly squeezing the hand holding his. A look of pure relief flooded his brother's face.
"You remember me," Cooper smiled.
"Of course I do," Blaine replied, slightly confused. "Why wouldn't I?"
"The doctor said that you... that you might not remember anything... or anyone..."
"How could I forget who my own brother is?" Blaine demanded. "Wait, why wouldn't I remember anything?"
"Blaine," Cooper sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Do you... do you remember what happened?" Blaine nodded slowly. "Well, Blaine, you... you died. You weren't breathing. And I thought we'd lost you forever. But then they said that they had resuscitated you and I was so relieved... But they also said that you could have possible brain damage because they weren't sure how long you'd been without oxygen... Oh Blaine, I was so scared that you were never going to wake up!" Cooper's hand tightened around Blaine's as tears started to flow from the older man's eyes.
"Look, I know that I haven't always been there for you," Cooper sobbed. "But please know that I'm always going to be here for you now, okay? I love you, Blaine. I'm your brother. I'm supposed to protect you so that things like this don't happen."
"You didn't know," Blaine sighed. "We hardly ever talked... And it's not like mom or dad would have told you because they didn't care. They never did."
"But that's the thing!" Cooper exclaimed. "I should have known! If we had just talked more, if you had known that you could come to me and talk about these feelings that you were having, I could have helped!"
"You can't control what people will do, Coop," Blaine shrugged. "I know that sometimes we might wish that we could, but we can't. And I don't think you could have helped me. You've never had to be in that same sort of position like I was. You don't know what it was like."
"Blaine, you're not the only one to have suffered from having your heart broken!" Cooper exclaimed. "Or did you forget about Lisa? The girl who left me for my best friend! I know what it's like to have your heart broken by someone that you love!"
"Wha-" Blaine started to respond, but was cut off when the door suddenly opened.
"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed, a look of pure relief and astonishment flashing across his face. "You're awake! You're alright!" Kurt almost ran over to the bed and threw his arms around Blaine, hugging him tightly though still being careful of his bandaged arm and his bruised neck.
"I was so worried that you would never wake up!" Kurt said as he pulled away and looked at Blaine. He was looking back at him with a look of confusion.
"Look, I know that I said that I never wanted to see you again, but I'm sorry," Kurt sighed. "Almost losing you made me realize how much I love you and I can't live without you, Blaine. I'm so sorry that you felt like you had no other choice than to do what you did, but I was going to forgive you the next time that you called but then you never called and..." He covered his mouth to try to keep the sob from slipping out.
Once he had calmed himself, he continued. "I can't lose you like that again, Blaine. I don't think that my heart could handle it." Blaine didn't say anything. All he did was stare at Kurt with a look of surprise. He blinked a couple times before slowly turning his head to look back at his brother.
"Coop?" Blaine said softly, his eyes quickly darting back and forth between the two men.
"What's wrong, Blaine?" Cooper asked, leaning closer.
Blaine slowly raised his right hand and pointed at Kurt.
"Who is he?"