When Night Breaks

"Why is that Ian guy so obsessed with her?" Leo asked. It was a question I had often wondered myself. But if I really thought about it, wasn't I obsessed over her too?

"I don't know. All I know is that he's a lunatic." I had gotten home in the early morning hours, after leaving Samantha's apartment. Leo didn't jump my case this time, and I think he was slowly coming to accept me and her.

"I'm going to go get some sleep. I'm not setting an alarm so just wake me up whenever you get to missing me." I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes while flipping me his middle finger.

I changed out of the jeans and shirt I had been wearing all night, and put on a pair of shorts. I crashed on my bed and within minutes I was out.

I rolled over and seen the clock said 4:32pm; I had been asleep a long time. It was the sound of knocking at the living room door that awoke me. I rubbed my eyes and ran my fingers through my tousled hair. I opened my door and walked down the hall to see Leo opening the door.

"Hey kid. Jay told me what happened, sorry to hear about it." Samantha was standing in the door way, as Leo ushered her inside. It was quite the shock that he was being so friendly to her. I walked over to where you stood, sure that the sleep still showed in my eyes.

"Oh, did I wake you up?" She asked.

"No, I've been awake a little while." I lied. Leo excused himself and glanced at me before exiting the room.

I hadn't put a shirt on after getting out of bed, and a sudden pang of embarrassment swept over me.

"Uh, sorry, let me go find a shirt." I said, awkwardly.

"Oh it's alright. You look good with no shirt." Samantha's face turned pink, as she looked at my exposed chest, realizing what she had just said. We both stood in awkward silence for a moment before laughing at each other.

"Uhm, I came to thank you again. And to tell you that I loved the song."

Oh damn, the cd. In my exhaustion, I had forgotten I had even left it for her. I had just finished making it when I sensed she was in danger. The plan was to give it to her in a better, more intimate moment. But at least she listened to it.

"Oh no problem. And I'm glad." I smiled and she smiled back.

"I made you one in return." She dug through her purse and pulled out a cd.

"You didn't have to do that." I was flattered by the kind gesture. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I told her to follow me, as I lead her into my room.

"I have something to show you." I rummaged through the bottom of my closest and pulled out a cardboard show box. I grabbed a tshirt and threw it on as well.

The box was filled old photographs. I hadn't looked through them in quite some time; they often brought on painful memories. But I wanted Samantha to see parts of my past; to be able to hold the pictures and see my life in color.

"Oh my gosh. Is this you?!" She exclaimed as she pulled out a photo from when I was 16. My hair was long and hung almost to my shoulders.

"Yeah, sadly." I laughed.

Most of the photos I had forgotten about, and I felt a rush of sadness upon finding one of me and Jeremy. We were both young, and we were outside of the McKenzie's home. He was two years older than me, but we looked like we could almost be twins. Samantha placed her hand on my back as she seen the sadness in my eyes.

For half an hour, we sifted through the many photos, laughing at how ridiculous I looked as a teenager, and me telling the back stories behind the smiles. We each had a small pile, and when Samantha pulled one out in particular, I felt my anger take over.

"Who is this girl?" She asked. I glanced at the picture and felt my face go pale.

"No one." I said sharply.

"Oh was she like your girlfriend?" She said jokingly. I didn't respond, and she sensed something was wrong.

"Jay, what's up?" I took the picture out of her hand, and glared at the woman standing beside me. Why did I still have this picture?

"Her name's Kara. I met her when I was in New York right after I turned 19." Reliving my past with Kara was something I didn't do. My biggest ghost was her; a ghost that kept haunting me.

"I can tell its a sensitive subject. I'm sorry I mentioned it."
"It's not your fault. I should have burned this photo a long time ago." I took the picture and placed in the trash bin.

Samantha got up off of my bed and said she had to be going.

"I'm meeting Lacey at her house, she's going to come over tonight." She placed her purse over her shoulder and headed towards the door.

"Thanks for stopping by. And for letting me show you the photos."

"Oh I enjoyed it a lot. Thank you for letting me see them." She smiled and walked her to the door. As she stepped out on the porch and we said our goodbyes, she turned around.

"Jay, I want you to know something. Don't ever be afraid of showing me yourself or your past. It doesn't change anything. I promise." I nodded and smiled as she walked out to her car.

I went back into my room to listen to the song Samantha had chosen to be her response. I had a stereo system set up in the corner of my room with surround sound speakers. On the bad days when things got rough, I would sit on the bed as the music filled my room. Leo never bothered me when he heard the blasting music and he never told me to turn it down. I think he knew how much I needed it. I put the cd in and turned the volume up loud.

When everywhere you go feels like a mirror maze. And you're not sure how you're stuck in this place.

Lyrics that seemed accurate in describing my life.

And you got nowhere else to go
And you're lost within your own home. And you're trying so hard to win; you keep trying, it's embarrassing. And how you don't even know, but you know you're off the tracks. And how did you get in here? Thinking how did I get in here?

How did I get in here? My life was off track, and for years I had been trying. It took a sweet young girl to show me that I'm not alone.

I'll help you break the walls down. Bust you out, and take you home. Believe you me you are not alone. I'll help you break the walls down.

I had built so many walls, and I was boxed in my own life. I was ready to be freed; to be able to feel again.

And all the weight you carry will disappear. And I will willingly embrace you so lay your head. So come on home.

With Samantha, I knew I was at home. It was such a scary and exhilarating feeling. I felt a new wave of emotions wash over me; I was falling in love with her.