Falling Slowly

I could see the change in Jacob and Amanda. After the confrontation when Amanda was released from the hospital, I saw the way she looked at everyone. She looked at everyone like she was seeing them for the first time. Like a blind person finally having the ability to see what was in front of them for their very first time. She kept her distance though, like she was afraid at any moment we would attack her.

She kept the farthest distance from Jacob however. I knew he imprinted on her, I gagged every time I would see her when Jacob would phase. He couldn't control it anymore, he tried reeling it in at first, now it was coming flat out. It was quite annoying if you ask me, I wish she knew how he felt about her. I wish she saw the way he saw her through his eyes, the way she looked to him. To him, she was everything he ever wanted, she was the only one he had eyes for.

But Amanda shut herself off every time Jacob was near, I'm not sure exactly why she does it. I had a pretty good idea though. She liked him, maybe even loved him.

It's pretty obvious the way she feels about him, you can see it in her eyes when she looks at him. The way they would sparkle in the light, especially when she would see him smile or laugh. The way her face lights up whenever he walks into the room. The way she held her breath in when Jacob would accidentally brush up against her, or the way her knees would shake like jello at his very touch. I would catch her staring at him intently sometimes, but then she would quickly look away and shake her head. It was like she was trying to force herself not to think about him.

Jacob was, to be blunt, an oblivious moron. He was getting better at being around her now though. He could actually be around her without scowling or glaring in her direction. I think he was finally surrendering himself to his feelings for her. Yet, he would never tell her how he felt about her. He thought he was protecting her, he thought she wouldn't want to be with an animal like himself. He didn't know if he could control himself with her around, especially if she was endangered. He couldn't promise himself that he wouldn't immediately phase, with her around, especially if he was full or rage, or jealously.

He tried to be everywhere she was. Ever since that night at the bonfire, he swore to himself she'd never get hurt again. He promised to himself, and to I, that he would be there forever and always to protect her. He was sincere about it, but I had doubts in my mind. He still thought about Bella sometimes, he missed her obviously, but couldn't he see the effect he had on my baby sister?

"Rhiannon! I'm home!" I quickly snapped out of my thoughts, and got up from my now entirely to small bed, and greeted Amanda home from school. She had a huge smile on her face, she's been coming home like this for a few days. I wanted to know what got her in such a happy mood, but every time I would, she'd brush me off like nothing.

"Happy birthday Rhi!" I stood in shock, how could have I forgotten my own birthday? Was it already October thirty first already? Am I actually twenty today?

"Oh thanks.. Whatcha get me?" I laughed when she rolled her eyes at me.

"You're to old for presents Rhiann." I growled at her when she announced the old part. She laughed quietly, and shook her head. "But, we are going trick or treating with Quil and Claire. I don't know if Embry and Jacob are coming though..." She started off loud and excited, but it dulled down a bit when she announced Jacob. I just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and say, "don't be an idiot Manda! He loves you!" But I kept my mouth shut, Jacob had to be the one to tell her, it wasn't my place to do so.

I heard the phone ring suddenly, and walked into the kitchen where it was. "Hello?"

"Uh, hi. Can I speak with Amanda please?" I looked into the living room where Amanda was sitting down watching tv. Why was I suspicious of this voice talking to me?

"May I ask who is calling?" The voice was gruff and had a tint of something in it that I couldn't comprehend. It felt like he was acting superior than I.

"Oh yeah, this is Adam. Didn't Amanda tell you about me?" I could hear the disappointment in his last words. "I'm her boyfriend." I couldn't help but let out a squeak of laughter. Amanda's boyfriend? She would have told me if she had one.

I yelled for her, and she immediately got up from her place on the couch. I watched in amazement as her cheeks flushed at something this Adam character said on the other line. She kept biting her finger nails, and twisting her hair in her hand. Why was she nervous? She only bit her finger nails if she was nervous or sad, she sure as hell didn't look sad. I already didn't like this kid. I don't know if it was the protective sisterly thing kicking in, or because I knew about Jacob and his feelings for her. Who was I protecting? Amanda or Jacob?

"Boyfriend, huh?" I finally asked as she hung up the phone. Her face lit up with excitement, and a blush started to creep its way onto her cheeks.

"Yep. Adam and I have being going out for a week or so now. Is it okay if he comes tonight with us?" I couldn't help but nod as I watched her eyes fill with hope. She let out a squeal, hugged me tightly, and ran upstairs. How could someone make her so happy that she actually squealed? I never in my life heard her squeal, I couldn't help but feel the anger fill me. How could she just automatically ditch the feelings she had for Jacob? What did this Adam character have that he didn't?

I tore the clothes off of my body as I took off into the forest, I needed to calm my nerves before seeing Amanda and Adam in a few hours.

How is Jacob going to handle this? Did he already know? He probably doesn't, especially since he hasn't said anything to anyone, or thought about it while he phased.

Hopefully Jacob wasn't coming tonight.

I guess Amanda was good at hiding secrets better than I thought she could.