You Look Like You've Seen a Ghost

--_Ricky and Josh's house_--

As soon as we walked in, Josh took my hand and pulled me through the house, beaming. Ricky followed with my bag. “Welcome to the Olson and Balz house! This is where we will be hanging out for the night. I have banned Ricky to his parent's house for the night so its just us fertiles.”

Ricky frowned, but bit his lip and set my bag on the floor.

The room was huge, a large TV was mounted on the wall and took up most of it. The theme of the room was black and different shades of gray. It all worked together really well.

“Okay, so we're gonna watch movies, and eat ice cream and candy and then we're gonna have fertile talk!” he proclaimed, pulling me to sit on the couch next to him, he pecked Ricky good bye.

Fertile talk?!

If your wondering, thats kinda like the humans girl talk. You talk about things no one else understands, crushes, personal things.

I never had that with Jackie. I'm scared.

At least it's the last thing on his list. We watched Jack An d Jill, then a movie for fertiles while eating ice cream. Sadly, that hit two birds with one stone.

“Okay, time for PJ's then fertile talk.” He smiled.

“Okay.” He took me to his and Ricky's room where we both changed, neither feeling weird. First of all, he's a fertile, second of all he's mated, and third he's gay so it doesn't matter
We returned to the TV room and Josh pulled out the couch into a bed. I helped him put sheets and such on it before we sat down.

“So, are you happy with Devin?”

Wow, he cuts right to the chase.

I feel like Josh will keep my secrets to the end, he seems to be really sweet and trustworthy. I'll tell him everything, besides, I need to vent.

“No.”

He didn't seem too shocked.

“Why?” At that one word, I revealed my whole situation with Devin. My crush before, Jackie glaring, when Devin met my parents, how he orders me around more than he should, how he always is able to pick out something I've done wrong. I told Josh how I tried to get on Devin's good side, to be his friend. How I cleaned the house, and made him breakfast every day that he never ate. I told him exactly what I thought earlier. Maybe my absence will make Devin happy. That's all I want now. Fuck my happiness, Devin is what matters. And if my sadness makes him happy...so be it.

I looked up at his face for the first time, to see him wipe tears from his cheeks. “Oh honey I'm so sorry!” He threw himself into my arms and cried more. His hot tears soaked the area between my breasts where his face was, his arms wound around my neck as he cried.

He was like a young fertile child, your most comforting place is between your mothers breasts, male or female. He's so cute, he's the perfect fertile. Why can't I be perfect, if I was, maybe Devin would want me.

Soon, I was crying as well, petting his long black hair.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up the next morning on my back with Josh still nestled in my chest. His face was beginning to loose its flushed look from crying, and he was nearly as pale as he had been before.

I need to pee.

I carefully slid him off my chest so he was on the bed and I got off it and headed for the bathroom. After I did what I needed to I padded to the kitchen and cooked up some pancakes, eggs and sausage; enough for me and Josh.

While I was eating, Josh wandered in wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning.” I chipped, feeling oddly happy for the first time in a long time.

“Good morning.” His voice was raw from crying before falling asleep. He cleared his throat as he made his plate.

“When's Ricky coming back?” I asked, I don't want to intrude.

“When I call him.”

“Oh okay.” I took care of my plate. “I'll do the dishes, don't worry about it.” Josh said from the table.

“Okay.” I began to feel cold, just a bit chilly. I put on a Minnie mouse long sleeve and rubbed my forearms for warmth. I put the bed back into a couch and sat on it, getting colder and colder. I could hear Josh clinking the dishes around the sink.

Fifteen minuets later I couldn't feel my fingers, toes or face. I was so cold. I piled every blanket I found on top of me, and still was shaking.

Fertiles don't get sick unless their dying or pregnant. And I can't be pregnant so that means...

“J-Joshhh!” I stuttered.

He came running in, gasping when he saw me. “Oh honey!” He ran to my side and put his hand on my forehead only to jerk it back as if it bit him.

“You're freezing!”

“N-n-no sh-shit.”

He seemed to get uncomfortable. “Could you be pregnant?”

“N-no. V-virgin.” God I wish I could use full sentences.

He relaxed a bit. His blue eyes widened as something dawned on him. “Has Devin kissed you?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, or well, I think I did. I can't feel my face so...

“Just answer me, please.” he snapped.

“N-no.”

He frowned and pulled out his cell phone, sending a quick text.

“I assume you're wondering what that has to do with this. Well, if you noticed, at the mating ceremony, after the names were called they kissed. That's because if a fertile is mature enough physically to have children, they need special Dom attention. They kiss because it prevents the fertiles body from feeling rejected, if it feels rejected it shuts down, or freezes to death. Any dom's kiss will do but only for a little while, only your mates kiss will stop it for good.”

“M-meaning?”

“You matured early.”

So, I was ready to be mated. That's why only senors have a mating ceremony, their body's are fully developed so they can have children. At least physically, I was ready to be mated.

I groaned as I lost feeling in my legs.

“Oh your skin is turning blue!” Josh frowned, sadness in his blue eyes.

I herd the front door get shoved open, with Dom speed, Ricky stood beside Josh.

Josh said something quietly, Ricky frowned. “What?”

“Kiss her Ricky!” Josh exploded, his voice slightly pained.

“No!”

“Do it or she'll die Rick. Devin hasn't kissed her.”

Ricky's mouth dropped and his eyes flashed over to me. I was to cold to verbalize anything, I would have insisted I'd be fine and that there's no need for that.

My heart hammered in my chest as Ricky knelt near my head. He looked at Josh who was staring at his shoes.

“Do it Rick.” Josh said quietly, looking like he was trying not to cry.

My first kiss and it won't even be with my mate! Well, if it's this or die...

Ricky's eyes were hesitant, and regretful as he brought his face closer to mine slowly. (A/N Ricky isn't gay, he's bisexual but likes guys more)

“Damn it Rick do it!” Josh blew up.

Ricky leaned down so our lips touched, my heart grew warm. Ricky skimmed our lips and I felt the warm feeling in my heart spread, I wasn't as numb.

We kissed slowly, or he did rather. I did not kiss him back, either because he is taken, I am not attracted to him or simply because I couldn't feel my face, I don't know. I felt warmth return to my body, then I could feel his soft lips. When I got the feeling in my fingers and toes back I managed to push on his shoulder, letting him know I'm all better, and to stop. As soon as I put pressure on him, he was gone.

Ouch. Am I that ugly?

I unwraped myself looking over to see Ricky holding Josh, then tilting his head up and kissing him with nothing but love.

I frowned. I'll never be kissed like that. The only reason I got my first kiss was to save my life, and at the expense of my friend's feelings.

Yeah, you read right, I consider Josh my friend. I told him things last night I would never dare dream of telling Jackie.

Jackie. That look she gave me when my name was called. When I go back to school I hope she's over it. In case your wondering, after the mating ceremony, if mated you leave school for at least a week to 'get settled with your mate.'

When Josh and Ricky broke apart, Josh had that spark in his eyes again. He was okay. “In about twenty minuets, you'll start to get cold again. We need Devin.”

“He won't come.” My voice sounded fragile.

“Why wouldn't he?” Ricky asked.

“Josh...” he nodded and whispered in Ricky's ear for a few minuets.

Ricky's eyes flashed blood red and remained that way. “I'll KICK HIS ASS!” He roared.

“No, don't.” I said, grabbing his wrist, knocking him out of it. He looked down at me, his eyes returned to their former blue.

He said nothing, I let go.

I realized then that Josh was texting. Probably Devin. “Josh no! All I do is make him upset, if I'm gone he'll be happy!” I stood on the couch and tried to tackle Josh to get his phone from him, but Ricky intercepted and pinned me gently but roughly to the floor.

Gentle enough not to hurt me, but strong enough to keep me there.

“Don't you EVER think that!” Ricky hissed.

I struggled against him but it was pointless, a fertile is weaker than a human.

“Josh no! No! Leave him be!” I cried, tears slipping from the corners of my eyes. I'm just a bother. I'm so unwanted. My own mate doesn't want me, he'll be happier if I was dead. Why couldn't Ricky not kiss me, and just let me die.

I'd die for Devin's happiness, no matter how he treats me and how many times he breaks my heart.

After a few minuets of crying I began to feel that familiar coldness in my heart. If I don't tell them, they won't know till it's too late. Then I'll be gone, and Devin can be happy.

Ricky remained pinning me as Josh paced the room.

Suddenly foot steps came in and Devin stood there looking dumbfounded.

“G-go!” I yelled at him, he growled slightly. My entire torso was numb, but that wasn't enough. I need to freeze all the way.

“Look at what you let happen to her! SHE'S DYING!” Ricky growled at Devin, laying me on the couch, flinching at the temperature of my now paler skin.

“What the hell did I do?!” Devin got defensive.

“No it's what you didn't do. You didn't kiss her. She's freezing. I've already kissed her once, I'd rather not do it again.”

I felt a pang in my heart, am I that horrible? Even if Ricky didn't have Josh would he feel the same? Of course he would, my first kiss is from my friends mate and only to save my life. How pathetic. I'm so worthless.

Devin frowned.

~Devin~

I'm so worthless.

No fertile deserves to feel that way, and the fact that I'm the cause just salts the wound. I've been so focused on keeping away from her, I forgot that this would happen. She doesn't deserve to die, and I'm sure she'll make a dom really happy one day; just not me.

She feels nervous, betrayed, heartbroken and hopeless. I know it's my fault, but I won't admit.

“KISS HER!” Ricky roared, eyes black.

No fertile deserves this.

I strode over to her emotionlessly and kissed her, expecting to feel that this was wrong. But when I did it wasn't like that at all. I felt my heart speed up, and nothing short of fireworks. This can't be. I'm just desperate to keep her alive, yeah that's it.

When she'd warmed up a bit she kissed me back and the fireworks doubled. Somehow knowing the freeze was gone, I pulled away. The warm feeling I had disappeared as soon as our lips broke contact.

“We NEVER speak of this again.” I growled, grabbing her wrist and making her stand. Josh frowned a bit, Ricky handed me her bag