Shaken and Stirred

The loud annoying sound of a groan bounced off of the walls of the small hotel room. She had been cooped up in there for four long days. Sure she spent it with her friends, but she wanted to go out again, she wanted to feel the sun upon her skin. Raven was left alone again while the “big boys” went to get food. She felt like some pioneer, where the husband went to get food, leaving the wife to stay there and watch the children.
Raven chuckled a bit, falling back. The rays of sunlight streamed through the window, and onto her. She put her hand to her face trying to keep them from blinding her. But with out even realizing it, her other hand was on her belly, rubbing it, sensing for life. Raven gave a soft smile thinking about her baby, then she closed her eyes enjoying the soft light.
The door opened slowly,

“You can’t be sleeping! Wake up, Ras!” Frank cried to her. She opened her eyes a bit, yawning.

“I’m up, Frank. What is it?” She watched the boys pile in with boxes of pizza and beer. Raven cringed and nodded, trying to be happy, “What’s going on?”

“A celebration!” Bob said, taking a can of beer. He opened it, taking a slow swig. Raven looked at him and laughed slowly. Frank handed her a can, she took it and set it down politely.

“What are we celebrating?” She asked. The room stopped moving and just looked at her, “What? What!” She questioned.

“What are we celebrating?” Mikey asked, and then laughed hard, “What are we celebrating!” He yelled.

“We are celebrating the one year anniversary of My Chemical Romance!” Frank said, taking a swig of his beer. Gerard picked one up and looked at it. He opened it quickly and chugged the whole thing down,

“Hold on, sucker. Let’s start slow, why don’t we?” Ray asked, laughing hard. Raven looked at Gerard with blank eyes, and then suddenly felt nude around him. She looked at her right hand, at the pale strip of skin where her promise ring once sat for nine years. Raven touched it gently, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

“The one year of My Chem.!” Mikey grinned, sucking down a beer.

“And hopefully many more to go!” Bob answered him, grinning widely. She laughed and nodded.

“Here! Here!” Ray said. They all looked at him and blinked, “What he asked.”

“Who the fuck says Here! Here!” Frank asked,

“Well I do. But isn’t that what you do when you are congratulating shit?” Ray questioned. After Gerard’s first beer, he sat in a seat like a stone angel. Nothing about him moved.

“Gee…come on! Have fun!” Mikey said, coaxing him with a beer. Gerard looked up from his stupor and had a short laugh,

“Yes! Here is to broken, the beaten, and the dammed!” He looked straight at her, and then opened it, sipping the alcohol. Raven stood up, holding her beer in her hand, un-opened.

“Here is to My Chemical Romance! My good friends and life saviors.” The group smiled at her softly, except for Gerard, “To Frank, the cutest rhythm guitarist in the history of music.”

“Aw, shucks.” Frank said to her, acting shy.

“To Mikey, best ‘wittle’ brother ever. To Ray, you are my favorite white guy with a fro.” Ray put on his smile and nodded,

“To Bob,” Raven continued, looking at him, “Thank God you are here, because I can’t play drums for shit. Nor as good as you can.” Bob nodded laughing, sipping on his beer. Raven closed her mouth, and looked at the ground. Everyone in the room could almost see her wheels turning, trying to figure out what to say about the singer. In nervousness, Gerard downed another can of beer. He looked at her in anticipation, “And, to Gerard…Ardy.” Raven whispered, looking up. She let out a small tense laugh. Then she looked down shaking her head, “I have nothing to say about you. I’m sorry.” She walked out of the door and sighed, wiping her tears. Gerard looked down, and sighed,

“Dammit.” He stood up and went to follow her. Frank shook his head,

“I’ve got her. I think you’ve done enough damage.” Gerard sighed, grabbing another beer.

“Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why can’t I stop crying over him? Nine fucking years. Why do I feel seventeen with him? Why do I love him?” She asked herself, running out into the sunlight. It bathed over her whitish skin and she looked up, “It’s not fair!” She screamed, as the people walked by her. She sighed and laughed. Part of her wanted to scream, "what the fuck are you looking at! I'm a pregnate woman, I'm aloud to be hormonal sometimes." But, she knew better. Or at least she hoped she did.

“Ras…lets go for a walk, huh? I need to walk off some of this pizza anyway.” She nodded and walked close to Frank. He put an arm around her shoulders and sighed. “So—”

“I don’t want to talk about Gerard.” Frank nodded,

“Fair enough. Let’s talk about the tour.” She nodded, a sparkle coming back into her jade eyes.

“Well I was thinking it could be a two year tour.”

“Two years!” Frank exclaimed. She nodded and laughed, looking over at him,

“We would stop in every major city and every state. And we would go over to England, good Rock scene over there. They would devour every part of My Chemical Romance.”

“I really don’t like cannibalism.” Frank joked. Raven laughed and shook her head,

“You know what I meant. And while we were on tour, we could work on the next CD.”

“Gerard and I have got some great ideas for the next CD.”

“Good. Let’s go to the park.” Raven said, suddenly. Frank blinked at her and nodded,

“Where is the park?”

“Down this street and to the left.”

“Alright.” She laughed at him and shook her head. They walked the rest of the way to the park in silence, watching the autumn leaves fall around them slowly. The sun was nearly setting, creating pink clouds in the sky. Raven looked up and smiled. For the first time in months she smiled truthfully. Frank looked at her and smiled too.
Once reaching the park, Raven walked over to the swings sitting down. Her slender hands wrapped around the chains and she started to push herself back and forth. Her bottle green eyes were looking at the few children lingering around with their parents. Her eyes brimmed with tears. Frank looked at her and blinked,

“What’s the problem, Ras?” She looked at him and laughed, wiping the stray tear from her eye.

“Nothing, kinda sad.”

“About…Gerard?”

“Yes,” She said honestly, “But something else.” That something eles was her fatherless child in her belly. There were no outward affects, but the band would start making the connections. No drinking. Throwing up at six a.m. The belly would be the biggest give away, but until they started asking about it, she wasn't going to say a word. Raven looked at Frank and gave him a look.

“Don’t wanna talk about it.” She nodded and joked,

“You know me so well.”

“Well…I have known you for about ten years.” Raven nodded and leaned back in the swing. Her face was bright with radiance. Her brown hair flew out like angel wings making her seem so beautiful. Her bruises were fading, leaving nothing but Raven. She looked at Frank and then her face was filled with pain, “What’s the matter?” Frank asked, suddenly walking over to her. She held her stomach and fell off of the swing, falling on her butt.

“Call…911, Frank.” She barely managed to say, because the pain was so intense.

Frank, Gerard, and Mikey sat in the waiting room. Gerard’s head was on the window, he was looking at the world. Frank’s head was on the wall, his hazel eyes closed. Mikey was pacing around the room, like a concerned father.

“What is taking so fucking long?” Mikey growled.

“The doctors said that she is fine.” Frank said calmly, “She just got really ill.”

“I don’t care, this is still—” A nurse walked in the room and smiled at them gently,

“Are you Frank Anthony Iero?” The nurse asked Mikey. Frank stood up and smiled,

“No. I am.”

“Oh,” She said politely, “Well Raven is fine. She was just a little tired from not eating anything. The baby will be okay—”

“Baby?” Mikey asked. Gerard looked at the nurse with extreme interest. The nurse nodded and laughed,

“Yes, didn’t see tell you. Oh, and the bruises from the car accident seem to be healing fine. You can go see her now.” She walked off, and Gerard was the first one to run to Raven’s room.

Raven sat up, with a spoon her in her mouth. Her jade eyes looked at the three boys piling in her hospital room.

“Hi!” She said happily, she took the spoon and put it back in the jello scooping more up to put in her mouth. Mikey looked at her and crossed his arms,

“So, how is the baby doing?” Raven froze and looked down, swallowing her jello.

“So when were you going to tell us about this, Ras?” Frank asked

“I wasn’t.” She answered.

“We aren’t completely stupid. I think we would notice the eating habits, and the sleeping habits and I don’t know, “Frank paused to put his finger on his lips, “The stomach growing!” Raven wanted to curl up and hide.

“I didn’t want you guys to ask questions.”

“Well, we only ask questions if we find out in suspicious ways.” Mikey said. Gerard looked at her with wide eyes. He still couldn’t get over the fact that she was pregnant. The fact that something was growing inside of her. Something about that was beautiful…something about that hurt him, also.

“Did you want to have kids?” Gerard spoke up. She looked at him icily. He sighed and looked at her with the same amount of intensity.

“I didn’t want to have kids until I was 31.” She answered, directly.

“So he…” Mikey started, mouthing ‘raped you.’ Raven nodded and sighed, covering her face. She didn’t want their looks. She didn’t want to have to look in their faces and see more disappointment.

“If we…” Gerard said, glaring at the ceiling, “If we ever see that fucker, he will be seriously damaged, and won’t be able to have children.” Frank and Mikey nodded in agreement. Raven sighed, and nodded.

“But...”

“But what?” Mikey said, “We are going to get you out of this hospital and then we are going on tour right.” Raven looked at him and nodded, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

“Yah…that’s what we are going to do.”

“But…I want a peanut butter and pickle sandwich.” The three boys gagged and laughed. She smiled at them, locking eyes with Gerard. Her smile didn’t fade as she realized that her child would have a father. Her child would have multiple fathers. Now that…would be hard to explain, but she was going to cherish it either way.