Endless Secrets

Alice’s hands were outstretched like claws, just inches from my face. I sucked in a breath and shrunk into myself, never more terrified for my own life. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever actually been fearful about dying; dying has never crossed my mind until now.

Her hands never reached me. Suddenly, I was pulled out of her reach, into his chest. His arms wrapped around my body, protecting me from the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt safer, in his arms; it was almost as if nothing could ever harm me. He bent his head and buried his nose in my hair, smelling me. Familiarizing himself with my unique smell. I wondered if I smelled like a – a mutt to him. Did I smell like a repulsive, wet dog? Even I hated the smell.

“Jasper, move!” Alice spat at him. I couldn’t see where she was; my face was buried into his chest.

His name is Jasper?

I’m so confused in the situation, I’m unable to speak.

“Don’t hurt her, Alice.” Jasper snarls back – there’s enough desperation and emotion lying beneath it that she stops. Everyone’s quiet as she realizes she really can’t do anything about the…situation.

“Alice, darling, why don’t you come back inside?” A motherly voice calls to her. I hear Alice take a step backwards, pause, then run off. She’s running in the opposite direction of the house, obviously wanting time alone. I don’t blame her. As the seconds pass, I began to feel guilty – did I just steal her mate? I could have just ruined her life. Even though she had been telling people about her visions, which I couldn’t actually deny, I feel incredible guilt. I can’t imagine how she would be feeling at this very moment – defeated, maybe. Jealousy? Despair?

Jasper finally loosens his arms around me, but doesn’t completely let go. I glance up at him shyly; he’s staring back at me with a warm smile. Turning my head, I see his family, all of whom are staring at us with wonder. Feeling all their eyes on me, my cheeks begin to burn. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before.

I glance between Jasper and his family several times. No one speaks. They’re waiting for one of us to say something.

Pulling my arm from Jasper’s grasp, I step backwards. This wasn’t meant to happen. None of it was. I wasn’t supposed to imprint on anyone, especially not a vampire. That wasn’t why I was here – imprinting on Jasper would surely prevent me from doing what I had to do. But I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to let go my only chance at happiness.

Still, I looked down. I tried to speak, but no words would form. Sending Jasper a sad, apologetic look, I turned and ran.



By the time I got back to La Push, my mind had cleared itself of my original confusion. How had I allowed myself to be so weak in front of the vampires? I should have defended myself against Alice. I should have killed the bitch for attempting to kill me. I shouldn’t have let myself get so breathless – I shouldn’t have let myself imprint on a vampire. Of all things I could have imprinted on, why did it have to be a vampire? Why did nature think it was necessary? I thought imprinting was supposed to find the best match for reproduction – a vampire couldn’t have children. Well, not with me. Not a shapeshifter, if I could even be called that.

I threw the door open to my house, nearly breaking the hinges. Lionel and Paul were still on the couch playing video games. They paused it when the door slammed and looked at me, Lionel looked concerned and Paul looked fucking amused.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Paul asked, chuckling.

I glared at him and began to walk towards the stairs. “I just imprinted on a goddamn vampire, that’s what’s wrong with me.” I snapped, climbing the stairs before anyone could ask me anything more. Behind me, I only heard silence. Then Paul got up from the couch and ran out the door, obviously telling Sam. Just great – now everyone would know by the end of the night. I got into my room and slammed the door shut. Once inside, I grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, trying to let out my aggression. It wasn’t enough.

Before I really processed what was happening, I’d tipped over my dresser and thrown a mirror at the floor. I didn’t stop my destruction of the room until Lionel came in and grabbed my hands, preventing me from doing anything else. Despite me screaming at him to “fuck off!”, he pulled me close for a tight hug. I think it was exactly what I needed – slowly, I began to calm down. When he felt that I wasn’t about to throw punches anymore, Lionel let go. Right about then, there was a loud knock at the door.

“Tell him to leave me alone.” I hissed, lying on my bed and pulling the covers over my bed. “I’ve been through enough shit today.”

“Where is she? I need to talk to her.” I heard Sam say, once Lionel had gone downstairs and opened the door.

“Oh, just leave her alone. She’s not in the mood to talk to anyone right now.” They argued back and forth for a couple minutes, until Sam finally left, saying he’d come back tomorrow morning.

Rolling onto my stomach, I groaned. What was I going to do? I couldn’t actually be with Jasper – he was a vampire. I just wish that was the only reason why I was so against being with him.