Endless Secrets

For nearly eighteen hours, I slept. By the time I woke up, I was starving; I’d missed both dinner and breakfast. I rolled onto my back and lay on my bed for a couple moments, allowing myself to wake up. Downstairs, I could hear several people – Lionel, Marisol, Sam, Emily, Paul, and even Jacob. Was it really necessary for so many people to come? They knew what had happened. What did they expect me to say? That it was a mistake? That I would take it back? If it were possible, I would. The situation I was in was far from the best; everything would be so much easier had I not imprinted on someone.

Sighing, I decided to get up. There was no point in making them wait any longer; they’d probably been sitting downstairs for hours. I threw on a tank top and some jeans and adjusted my hair in my mirror before making my way down the stairs. Ignoring everyone, I headed straight to the kitchen and ended up throwing several pieces of leftover pizza into the microwave and eating some yogurt while I waited. Leaning against the counter, I stared at everyone while they watched me from the living room. Emily made a point of turning their attention away from me by dragging everyone into a new conversation. I knew I liked the girl for a reason; she definitely knew when to help out.

The microwave beeped obnoxiously a minute or so later. I grabbed the plate, placed it on the counter, and poured myself a glass of milk. Sitting at the table, I nearly shoveled the food into my mouth. I wasn’t lying when I said I was starving; I ate everything in just a couple of minutes. After that, I went back into the kitchen and grabbed an apple.

Once finished, with the kitchen clean, I made my way into the living room. Their conversation stopped and everyone stared at me. I sat at an empty chair and stared back at them, daring someone to say something. I sure as hell wasn’t going to say anything; I didn’t even want them hear. Still, no one said anything. It took a raise of my eyebrow, directed towards Sam, to get him to say something.

“What exactly happened, Silvia?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes. “What do you expect me to say? I imprinted. It’s simple.”

“It might be simple to you, but you imprinted on a vampire – one of our enemies.”

I sighed angrily. He had to keep bringing that up – as if I didn’t know! “You seem to be on friendly terms with them.” I mumbled, staring at the floor.

“What are you going to do?” Paul joined the conversation. He didn’t seem angry, like Sam did. At least this kid had common sense; he knew it wasn’t really my fault.

Shrugging, I glanced around the room. Everyone was watching me, waiting for my answer. I felt my cheeks begin to burn and redden from the attention. “Um, I guess I’ll just wait and see how it goes.”

Apparently I’d said the wrong thing. Sam stood up, fire in his eyes. “What? You’re actually going to go through with it?” He snapped, his voice rising. “You can’t!”

“Leave her alone, Sam! You know as well as I do that you can’t stay away from your imprint.” Jacob, surprisingly, began to defend me. “What is she supposed to do? Staying away from him will nearly kill her.”

Sam frowned, but sat back down. It seemed as though Jacob had something over him; Jacob almost seemed like the alpha here.

“So which one did you imprint on?” Paul asked. I laughed; I hadn’t realized they didn’t know. I guess when I’d returned, all I had said was that I’d imprinted on a vampire. No names. Jacob probably knew who, though, since he dropped by the Cullen’s every day.

“Jasper.” I replied right away, with a small smile. “Alice looked pretty fucking angry. She attacked me.” I grinned, and immediately, the guys began to ask me what happened. It was almost as though they’d forgotten I’d imprinted on a vampire, which was nice. Call me insecure, but I didn’t want anyone to treat me like a freak because of it.

“Yeah, I started telling her off at first, telling her how she was like a schoolgirl spreading dumb rumors.” I began, making Jacob laugh. “After a bit of that, Jasper came out and, I’ll spare you the girly, emotional details, but we imprinted. All the while, Alice was screaming her pretty little head off. I didn’t even know what she was saying, but I can assure you it wasn’t pretty.” Though I told them most of the story, I didn’t say how I’d gotten weak and nearly broke down completely, on the grass. I did, however, tell them how Alice lunged at me like a freaking jungle cat and how Jasper pulled me out of the way because I couldn’t seem to move. Lionel laughed at that; he knew I normally acted rather quickly. In normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have acted that way. Then I told them how I left without saying much of anything, because it had been embarrassing. They understood.

Sometime during the conversation, Sam had left, dragging Emily along with him. I knew he wasn’t happy, but there wasn’t really anything he could do about it. He couldn’t force me to forget the imprint. Hell, I couldn’t even make myself to it. Unless I could forget everything, it was impossible. I didn’t know if I would even want to forget everything, though. A part of me wanted this – a large part. I was curious about Jasper.

Eventually, everyone began to leave. They left one by one, until it was just Paul, Lionel, and Marisol left. They talked amongst themselves and tried to include me, but I stayed deep in my own thoughts. It didn’t take much longer for Paul and Lionel left for Jacob’s. Marisol glanced at me, biting her lip. She obviously wanted to leave too; I knew where. Laughing, I nodded. “Just go.” I told her, waving my hand towards the door. It was nice for the house to be silent again, even if I was alone once more. I didn’t quite mind being alone. It was being lonely that got to me, as it got to everyone. I hated knowing I didn’t really have anyone.

Glancing out the window towards the trees, I felt something drawing me towards them. I took off my sweatshirt and threw it onto the couch before going outside. Phasing immediately, I ran deep into the forest. It felt nice to be a wolf again; I almost preferred it to two legs. In this form, I was so much more flexible. I could do so much more. My legs pumped my body further and further into the forest. As I ran, my thoughts left me. It was just me and the forest; I didn’t care about anything else. There was no point.

I felt as though someone was following me. Immediately, I stopped and bared my teeth in their general direction.

“Silvia?”

There was the voice again – warm, like honey, with the slightest hint of a southern dialect. He stepped out from between the trees and stared at me, his eyes wide in confusion. Jasper took a step towards me; I took a step backward.

“I-I thought you would be out here…” Jasper told me, looking towards the ground. “Can you change back?”

How did he know I’d be here, in this area? I was nowhere near Forks; I had been running for a good hour at impossible speeds. He’d have to have been running as long as I had. And now he wanted me to change back? Was he serious? I’d be completely naked. I stared back at him, hoping he’d get the hint.

“I brought you clothes.” Jasper added, throwing a brown bag to the ground beside me. “Change, please?”

I let out a wolfish sigh, and nodded. He grinned and turned around while I changed into the clothes he’d brought me. It was simply some jeans, which fit me well, and a sweatshirt – pretty much the same thing I’d been wearing earlier.

He turned around when I was finished, his superhuman hearing letting him know I’d changed. When he turned, he seemed surprised again.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him, my voice rather hostile.

“Why were your eyes just red?” Jasper asked in wonder, ignoring my question.

I rolled my eyes. “Why are yours yellow?” I asked, unsure of the actual color.

He laughed. “By your thinking, yours would be red because you drank human blood.”

“Yeah, I definitely drink human blood.” I replied, watching his movements. He stepped closer to me; this time I didn’t move. Growing more confident, Jasper walked right up to me until he was right beside me. I seemed to shrink into myself as he got closer. I’d only met him twice, but I never knew what to do around him. Both times we had met, I’d been pretty much frozen, unable to move or speak. My heart beat began to speed up as he got closer to me, closing the space between us.

He grabbed my hand, holding it in his. “Your heart is beating rather quickly,” Jasper murmured into my hair, pushing it behind my ear. His lips brushed against my ear, causing me to shiver uncontrollably. I tried to shrug out of his grip, but he held on tightly, unwilling to let me go. It’s understandable – the last time I had, I immediately ran off. I probably would do it again he if released me.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Jasper again, my voice quiet. Why was I always so weak around him? I hated it. I could feel his lips curve into a smile. He knew what he was doing; the bastard knew! I wanted to slap the smirk off of his face, but I knew I’d never be able to do that. I’d never be able to hurt my imprint purposely, vampire or not.

“I already told you, I thought you were out here.” Jasper told me honestly. “And I wanted to talk to you.” He added, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

“You aren’t really talking about anything.” I muttered.

Jasper chuckled. “Okay,” he said. “Why did you run away the other day?”

It was like he could read my mind. He seemed to know what I was thinking about. Was that the imprint? I didn’t know much about imprinting itself, only the basics. Everyone knew the basics.

“I didn’t want to be there anymore. Everyone was staring. I hated it.” I told him honestly. I didn’t normally admit everything so easily to someone. But that was just it – with Jasper, it was so easy. It seem like he would judge me, or hate me, after I said something.

“They were curious.” Jasper told me, squeezing my hand reassuringly. “But…you just left. You didn’t even say anything.”

“I didn’t know what to say.” I didn’t know how to speak.

“Goodbye would have been alright.”

I shrugged, “It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”

“What’s going to become of us?” I asked Jasper after we talked for a bit; mostly trivial things of little importance.

“What do you mean?” He asked, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. I didn’t protest it; it was easier just letting it go. We had actually ended up on the ground, leaning against a tree.

“You know what I mean.” I sighed, glancing over at him. He was staring straight ahead, obviously troubled. “What are we going to do?”

He frowned. “I don’t know, but it hurts when I’m away from you.”

“Yeah.” I agreed. It definitely hurt.