Open Your Heart

It was hard for me to just go on about our day and pretend nothing had happened in the hotel room that morning. Danny on the other hand, seemed to have no trouble doing exactly that. It wasn’t that he avoided me, but he just acted as if nothing at all happened. The only difference I found was that he couldn’t hold eye contact with me. I used that to my advantage, locking eyes with him, silently challenging him to look away first. When his blue eyes left mine, my chest felt hollow. I wasn’t sure if I was happy that Danny seemed to forget what happened, or if I was upset that he just let it go.

“You alright, mate?” Sam asked with a concerned look, sitting down beside me on the couch of our bus. “You seem a bit out of it.” He added, tilting his head to get a better look at me. I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t offer an explanation. There was no way I was going to tell the guys what happened with Danny. I didn’t need them to throw both of us out of the band.

Sam put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly, I smiled back softly to show I appreciated his attempts to cheer me up. The meek smile immediately fell from my face when Danny walked into the room, plopping himself down on the other side of me. Out of routine, I subconsciously leaned closer to Danny, feeling his body heat press against me. I mentally slapped myself for wanting to feel him so close.

The bus came to a halt in front of our next venue. Sam smiled with excitement, “I’m off to go explore.” He said turning toward us before leaving the room and then the bus. My heart sank at the awkward silence that enveloped us once Sam left. I kept mulling over the same words in my mind, repeatedly. I wanted to explain myself so badly. However, something told me Danny didn’t care to listen.

“Want to get something to eat?” It was the first sentence he had really said directly to me. My stomach growled at the mention of food. “Yeah, I’m starving.” I replied, standing up and making my way toward the door of the bus. Danny followed, grabbing a jacket on his way out. We walked in silence for a bit, I wasn’t sure where we were going, but Danny seemed sure of himself.

“Pizza?” Danny asked glancing at me. His short sentences and replies toward me made my heart ache. Normally we couldn’t stop talking and laughing, but the atmosphere surrounding us today was awkward and sad. “Pizza is good.” I agreed nodding my head.

My thoughts were swimming again; this is what got me in trouble in the first place. But I just needed to explain to Danny and to know how he was feeling. I couldn’t let things continue to be this way. I took a deep breath and stopped walking, Danny stopping when he realized I was no longer beside him. He turned around and looked at me with a questioning look.

“Danny, we need to talk about this morning. There’s some things I don’t think you understand and need to know.” I spat out, sighing deeply. He quirked an eyebrow and stepped a little closer. “Listen, Danny. What happened this morning was real for me. Danny, I meant that kiss. I’ve never meant anythin’ more. You’re more than just my best mate.” I explained feeling tears burn my eyes. He seemed shocked at my sudden outburst. He was slack jawed and his eyes were fixed on mine, but they were clouded with confusion. “Danny, I think I love you.” I finally admitted, my heart pounding in my ears, my tears leaving a hot trail over my flushed cheeks.

Danny opened his mouth to reply, then closed it again, unsure of what to say back. He had gone completely pale. “Okay.” His reply was so weak that I barely heard it. It was like a punch to the chest when I did though. However, nothing compares to the feeling I had when Danny turned and walked away from me, leaving me there in tears and frustration. Leaving me in the middle of a city I didn’t know with a broken heart.