I Don't Mind If You're Overrated

I woke up at eleven the next morning. I had slept well for the first time in more than a month. I rolled over to see that Jesse was gone already, so I pulled myself out of bed to go find Kellin. I opened the door to see parents flooding the halls, helping their kids with all the things they wanted to take home. I remembered that everyone leaving had to be out by noon.

"Fuck this, I'm going back to sleep." I muttered to myself, letting the door slam shut behind me and climbing back into my pile of blankets.

I didn't wake up until around 12:30, when there was a loud knock at the door. I got out of bed again to open it, dragging some of my blankets with me. It was the dean of studies, Mr. Bren.

"Hello, Victor. I'm going to take a wild guess and assume you're staying?" He asked, looking me up and down. I nodded and signed the paper he handed me, which said something about the school not being responsible for whatever happened to me over break. After he left, I turned around to survey the now half-empty room. It looked bare and sad, even though Jesse had left about half of his things. I noticed a folded piece of paper on my desk that I was guessing Jesse had left. I sat down and opened it curiously.

Vic-
Have fun this week! Be safe, EAT, and make sure Kellin does the same. You have the room all to yourselves, but don't even think about touching my bed. Love you man, I'll see you soon.
-Jesse

The note made me smile; Jesse really was a good friend. Speaking of good friends, I needed to find Kellin. I went to my phone to text him and saw I had two missed calls. It was good that Mr. Bren had woken me up, or I would have slept all day. I was about to call him back when I heard another knock at my door.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty!" Kellin's high voice rang through the heavy wood. I smiled and opened the door for him. I was hoping that something definitive may happen between us this week. He held the door open for himself and walked in, laughing at me in my pajamas. "Why aren't you dressed yet?" He asked.

"Well, I just woke up, let me find some clothes." I said, grabbing a hoodie and jeans and ducking into the bathroom. I got dressed quickly, grabbing my beanie from where it hung on the doorknob.

"So, what you want to do over the next twelve days?" He asked as I came back into the room, hoisting himself up to sit on my bed. I shrugged.

"Chill. Play music. Talk about our problems like the fags we are." I ventured. He giggled adorably.

"There are only about 15 people staying, which is fine by me. There's some place I want to show you. But we have to wait until Bren finishes making his rounds." He had a mischievious look on his face. I nodded slowly, suddenly very curious.

"Give me a hint." I asked quietly, sitting down next to him on the bed. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows, but the spark in his eyes went away as they fixed on something behind me.

"Vic, have you done any laundry since you've been here?" He asked incredulously. I felt my face heating up.

"Well, I mean, I've washed my socks and underwear..." I admitted sheepishly. Kellin laughed in disbelief, placing his hand on my arm. My skin tingled where he touched it.

"Vic. What the hell. We're going to do your laundry first." He decided, looking at me expectantly. "Well, get your shit together!" He demanded. I sighed, standing up and shoving all my dirty things into my duffel bag.

"Fine, mom!" I said in an overly dramatic voice. Honestly, I didn't even know where the laundry room was. I had been washing my small stuff in the sink.

It turns out that the laundry room was in a hallway just off the lobby of our dorm building. Kellin sat on the dryer, instructing me on how to sort my laundry and how much detergent to put in. Then we waited.

"Vic, have you had a boyfriend before?" Kellin asked, piercing the silence after about ten minutes. I was a little shaken by the sudden question.

"Uh, yeah. This guy Jaime back home. We broke up in like January, but on good terms. We were still pretty much best friends when I left, and he was close with my brother also." I explained. I surprised myself with how much I revealed. "Have you?" I asked.

"Who said I was gay?" He shot back quickly, looking me dead in the eyes. I couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

"Jesse told me." I admitted after a few tense moments. He turned his gaze to his hands and leaned back against the wall, letting his thick black hair fall into his face. I could see a pink tint spreading through his pale skin.

"Damn, secret's out." He said finally, breaking into a smile and looking up at me. I scoffed lightly.

"Kells, it's a little obvious." I said slowly, poking his arm. He laughed and leaned his head on my shoulder. We fell back into silence, but it was a little more comfortable this time. Kellin was weird, maybe weirder than me. But I liked him. Maybe even a little more than I had intended. The minutes went by, we changed the clothes from the washers to the dryers, but at last the timer buzzed. I grabbed my clothes, shoving them in the bags as quickly as I could.

"Wanna come to my room?" Kellin asked. "We have all break to do whatever we want." There was that spark in his eye again, making it seem like he had something planned. I ignored it and smiled, throwing my duffel over my shoulder.

"Sure, let me drop my clothes off first, though." I agreed.

"I'll walk you there. Bring your guitar?" He asked. I nodded excitedly, mostly because I wanted to hear him sing. We hurried up the stairs and to the junior floor. Kellin's room was on the floor just below mine. He was only a sophomore, which I didn't know until now.

"How long have you been going here?" I asked as we settled onto his bed.

"I transferred here November of freshman year." He said shortly.

"Why?" I asked. I wanted to hear the story from him. I wanted the details. I wanted to know how he felt. But he just shrugged.

"Reasons. Why are you here?" He shot back, attempting to turn the focus off of himself. He shifted his eyes to meet mine.

"Reasons." Two could play at this game. We stared at each other for a few moments defiantly. I felt guilty, considering I already knew his secret.

"Fine." He said stiffly. I sighed, beginning to become frustrated.

"Kellin, this isn't working. We can't hide these things from each other and play this catty game. Can we be real?" I pleaded. His eyes darted around my face, I'm sure looking for traces of a lie. He certainly wasn't a very trusting person. "I trust you." I offered quietly. He just looked at me, his eyes sad and lost.

"Prove it." He whispered. I gritted my teeth and pulled my sleeves up, revealing over a hundred scars. I watched his shield crumple from his face before he pulled me into his arms.

"Don't hurt yourself anymore. Please." He murmured to me, his voice cracking. I was surprised he cared this much, but I wasn't going to complain. I felt safe and happy in his arms.

"Not anymore." I promised. He didn't move his arms from around me.

"My dad left." He whispered, so quietly I could barely hear him. "My mom killed herself." I knew there was more to the story, but I wasn't going to pry. I just hugged him back tightly. I found his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"So we're both fucked up. We have to stick together." I said, trying to keep my voice light. I looked up at him to see tears pooled in his crystal blue eyes. "You won't be alone." I promised. He smiled at me and laid back on his bed, taking me with him. I laughed a little, turning so I could face him and bury my head in his chest. We fell asleep, and we didn't move until the morning.