These Fading Nights

I woke up that morning, feeling unlike I had in a long time. I felt excited to get up and go to school, which I really missed. I’m really glad that Jaime took me last night. I had so much fun, and I couldn’t wait to do it again, but on the other hand I really wanted to just slither my way between Jaime and Tony. I’m just feeling so confused lately, I couldn’t deny that I was starting to feel something for Kellin, but I still really like Jaime, as I always have. I just don’t know what to do, and then there's Tony, I can't even wrap my head around that one. I wish that there were simple answers for things like this.

At least I don’t have to know for sure today. Today all I have to do is get to school and work on my project with Tony. Oh shit I forgot, Kellin and I totally kissed last night, I’m sure he’s going to want to talk about that. Fuck my life, I need to stop instinctively kissing people, they always want to talk about what it means.

I brushed my thoughts away as I got out of my bed and walked slowly to the dresser suddenly not wanting to have to deal with today. I just wanted to go back to sleep again. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I always think too much when I’m in the shower. My mind tends to wonder and I always end up thinking about all of the things that I want or more specifically who. I want so badly to feel like I used to with Jaime, but I just don’t know if that is the best idea. On the other hand I could start off fresh with Kellin, which sounds pretty nice. Every now and again Tony wonders into my mind’s eye, I honestly can not find the right words to describe how I feel about Tony, I like him, but I don’t think that I could be in a relationship with him. I think there’s just like sexual tension there. Which needs to be further explored.

I finished in the shower and changed into new clothes that I had picked out. School just sounded so unappealing. I continued my daily routine and walked out to my car and drove the painfully long drive to school. As I pulled in I saw Kellin walking into the front gate. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to just talk to him.

“Hey, Kellin.” My smile ran from ear to ear. He looked back at me and a faint pink brushed along his cheeks.

“Hello Vic.” He tried to pretend that he was happy to see me, but I could see right through it.

“So did you have any interesting dreams last night.” I said with a smirk.

“As a matter of fact, I did,” he paused to show me the smug smile on his face. “But it wasn’t about you.” Wow that stung.

“Aww I was really hoping that you had.” I pouted. He giggled at my expression as we walked up to the table where we all sat in the morning.

“Hey lovebirds.” Tony remarked with a smile. Jaime was talking to someone and had his back turned to us.

“What can I say? He can’t get enough of me.” I winked at Kellin. He shook his head.

“Please. I seem to recall you coming up to me.” He shot back at me. I moved my hands over my heart acting as if he had shot me. He laughed and took a seat across from Tony, who was plenty amused with us at the moment. Tony was laughing at us, when Jaime turned around and asked what was so funny.

“These two are perfect for each other.” Tony laughed as he put his arm around Jaime. Jaime laughed, and gave a smile I knew was fake. I don’t understand him at all. He wanted this, didn’t he?

Then the bell rang. We all had the same class so nothing really changed, we all walked together. Jaime was walking next to me, I desperately wanted to ask him why he had planned last night. Instead I just walked to the class looking forward and not speaking a word. Soon we were inside of the classroom and Tony and I had taken our seats in the back to ‘discuss’ our current project. It seems like we never talk about it any more, but I guess it’s okay because we are moving along pretty well, we have about half of them done and we still have like three weeks left so we figure that we have room to mess around.

“So, Fuentes. You and Kellin huh?” Tony brought me back from my thoughts. I looked at him and he had a smug smile on his face. He laughed half-heartedly.

“I don’t know dude. I just kind of, ugh I don’t know what I want.” I confessed.

“Dude, don’t worry abut it, it’ll sort it’s self out. Eventually.” He couldn’t keep himself from letting out a laugh. I shook my head, before succumbing to the laughter my self.

We hardly got anything done during class. I honestly didn’t really care. I have a lot of fun just hanging out with Tony and laughing. Why does everyone make my life so complicated? After third period I decided that I was done with today. So I was on my way to my car when I ran into Kellin.

“Hey!” Kellin called to me.

“Hey, Kellin.” I answered. He looked at me as if I was trying to hide something.

“What class do you have right now?” He put his hand through the back of his hair. It was so adorable.

“I actually wasn’t going to go to class right now, so.” I walked a little closer to him, which I could tell made him a little nervous because he moved back a little. I let out a chuckle.

“Oh, okay.” Well I guess I’ll see you later then.” He was about to walk past me, but the action was just to tempting. I turned around and grabbed his wrist. He turned and looked at me, confused.

“Wanna come?” I asked with a cocky smile. He blushed as he contemplated it in his head.

“Ugh, I don’t know I ha-“ I gave him the ‘are-you-fucking-kidding-me look.

“Come on Kells!” I whined like a six year old girl.

“’Kells’? I think it’s a little to soon for pet names don’t you.” I could tell he was really happy that he could spin this around.

“Shut up and follow me.” I said not letting go of his wrist.