Nightmare

After I initially had gotten over the 'Brian and Michelle' fiasco, as I had been calling it, I spent my time trying to find Jimmy. It's been about a week since I had last saw him. I was beginning to worry. Would he come back? I missed being able to talk to someone. I had been trying to make myself appear to Brian and Zacky when they were hanging out. It would put me in this weird unresponsive state where I couldn't move at all. It was terrifying.

After the first two times I had decided to just wait for Jimmy to show up. If he did show up.

"Hey Zacky?" Brian called from the kitchen.

"Yeah." Zacky replied from where he was seated on the sofa two feet from me.

"What would you say if I told you I was going to hang with Michelle?" I froze. What?

"I would say what the actual fuck? Then ask why." Zacky said now glaring at a spot on the wall.

"It's just as friends. We're going to see The Dark Knight Rises. I swear to you I don't have feelings for her though. Strictly friends. First thing I told her when she showed up a week ago."

"I didn't ask you if you had feeling for her Syn." I chuckled. Zacky had turned to calling him Syn. That was a signal that he was pissed.

"Look dude, It's just hanging out. The whole reason I brought it up is because she's bringing a friend with her. That friend just so happens to be Gena." Zacky turned now to stare at Brian who was leaning on the door frame.

"Gena?" Zacky mumbled.

It was no secret that Zack missed her. I had even went to see her to figure out if she missed him. She did. She just didn't want to call Zacky back up and beg for forgiveness. That would make her look weak. Honestly, I think she should apologize. Zack was going through a hard time and the last thing he needed was for her to break up with him. Zack was my brother for all intents and purposes. My actual living brother didn't even show up at my funeral. I had never been a big fan of Gena. She made him happy though. He missed her and that bitch better fix things.

My next biggest concern was Michelle. I had no right to expect Brian to not move on and find a wonderful girl to spend the rest of his life with. It's just a 2 months ago I was going to be that girl. Me! Not anybody else. If that girl was going to be Michelle, well it doesn't mean that I had to be happy about it. Sure, Michelle and I had gotten along fine. It's just that I knew for a fact that she like, no loved, Brian still when I was with him. She made that painfully obvious when I was, or anybody else for that matter, around. Brian never showed any emotion towards that little tidbit of information, so it was never a problem.

I'd missed the last bit of the conversation, but whatever was sad seemed to please Brian.

"It doesn't mean that I fucking agree with you being around Michelle, Synyster. It hasn't been that long since Kat..." Brian quickly cut him off.

"I don't have any fucking feelings towards Michelle. In that way atleast. I feel gratitude because she's been helping me asshole. She can help in ways that you and the guys can't." My stomach rolled.

"Oh. What types of ways? Meaningless sex. Are you fucking her?" I felt tears burn my eyes. Was he? Brian stared and Zacky in shock.

"Answere the question Brian." I muttered softly. I hoped he wouldn't storm out.

"No. I can't believe that you would even insinuate that I was Zacky. My fucking fiance just died for fuck's sake! Could you be anymore insensitive?" Zacky sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. He sat back on the couch. When he stood up I couldn't tell you.

"I'm sorry Brian. It's just..." Brian nodded. He came and sat down beside Zacky on the couch.

"It's fine. I understand why you would think that. She's been over a lot lately. I'm going to willingly admit that, I may, have feeling for her. Barely. I'm not sure if it's because I feel obligated to make her happy because she's been helping me, or if there genuine feelings?" I sniffled. I wanted him to be happy. Really, I did. More so than you can imagine. It still hurt though.

"Bri... I want you to know that I'll support you. 100% bro. Kat wouldn't want you to be alone forever. She'd probably beat me if I didn't back you up." That was the truth. I would have beat him up or gotten MB and Jason to do that for me. Brian smiled and they did that weird little man hug thing.

"Come on. Let's go." I wished I could cry right now. If I could I would be.

"Jimmy! If there was ever a time that I needed you the most... Now's that time. Please Jimmy! I'll always need you. For you to think that I would ever stop needing you is insane. You are my best friend." I sobbed. I jumped slightly when I felt hands wrap around my waist. I looked up and Jimmy watched me with sad eyes. I buried my face in his neck. I sniffled. "Please don't leave again." I whispered. Jimmy wrapped me tighter in his arms.

"I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I won't leave you again. I was just upset." He said and kissed the top of my head.

"Why? Why were you upset Jimbo." I said and pulled away. He watched me for a little bit. He had his thinking face on. "Don't hurt yourself Jimmy." I joked. A ghost of a smile crossed his face.

"I don't know if I should tell you." He told me honestly.

"You know you can."

"Yes. I just don't know if I'll like the way you react?"

"Jimmy!"

"Fine. The reason I left was because.... ithinkimightlikenoscratchthatiloveyouandwantedtokissyou." (I think I might like, no scratch that, I love you and wanted to kiss you.) Jimmy said really fast I stared at him with wide eyes.

"Jimmy, I didn't understand a single thing you just said." He sighed and looked at me with pleading eyes. I didn't realize it until now but we were really close to each other. I felt my eyes widen when Jimmy closed the space and kissed me. A million thoughts were crossing my mind right now. His lips were soft against mine. It felt like... nothing else mattered in the world but him. It was then I realized I had started to kiss back. I gasped when I felt Jimmy's toungue run across my bottom lip asking for entrance. I granted him access. Jimmy tasted wonderful. Like Ben & Jerry icecream mixed with something else... something more... addicting. I moaned and gladly let him lay me down on the couch. It was when I heard the front door open that I was brought back to reality. I pulled away from Jimmy and pushed him away. Momentarily forgetting that Brian wouldn't have been able to see us either way.

I glanced at Jimmy and blushed. His eyes were wild looking. I'd only seen that look on Brian when we were... doing the deed. I flushed a bright red when I saw the problem that was painfully obvious in Jimmy's pants. A Cheshire grin spread across Jimmy's face. I smiled softly.

"Jimmy, I can't..." He held up his hand.

"Please don't say anything. Do you know how long I've waited to kiss you?" I stared at Jimmy. He had that gleam in his eye. That gleam you saw when he was playing the drums. I felt my heart began beating faster. This was Jimmy. My Jimmy. The one who had been alive and carefree. Against my better judgement I moved forward and kissed him. He smiled through the kiss and I pulled myself onto his lap. I began grinding down on his erection. He moaned softly.

"I really wouldn't do that unless you plan on helping me out with that." Jimmy growled. I groaned at the sound. Fuck! I couldn't do that with Jimmy.

'Not yet anyway' My subconscious whispered. I moved off of Jimmy's lap carefully.

"I can't do that yet." Jimmy nodded in understanding.

"Ok." He was breathing heavily. "I am gonna go. I'll be back later to teach you how to appear. That's gonna take a while. Honestly it's gonna need a lot more practice. Heavier emotions. Right now I really have to go because when your dead for so long you get extremely fucking horny and that what I am right now." I giggled softly and bit my lip. Jimmy growled and kissed me once more before I was left alone. I smiled.

Maybe I could make the best out of the situation. What about Brian though? Could I just forget him like that? No. I was dead. He would move on so I could to.