Draco Malfoy's Dirty Little Secret

I just wanted to talk with Draco when we were down in the woods. I wanted us to perhaps make things official, but apparently he doesn’t want that. Maybe he does. Maybe he was just too excited today. I rolled my eyes at the thought as Kam and I walked out of Zonko’s. Kam had wanted to go in there before we made our way back to the castle for dinner. She didn’t get anything though, which I thought was just a waste of time.

“So,” I said, walking up the path from the town. “What happened between you and Blaise?”

“He was the perfect gentleman,” she automatically gushed. “We had a few butterbeers at the Three Broomsitcks before he whisked me away to Madame Padifoot’s and had some tea. It was so sweet. He just asked questions about me. He wouldn’t let us talk about him. I finally bullied him into answering a few questions when we went on a romantic stroll around the town. He didn’t try to rush things. He didn’t even try to hold my hand. He even kissed me on the cheek before he left me for the day. Can you believe that?”

“No,” I commented, “I can’t. That’s awfully-“

“I know. He’s a Slytherin. It doesn’t seem right for him to be having real feelings for a Gyfindor such as me, but You know what?” she grabbed my wrist and stopped walking as she looked me in the eyes. “I don’t think that he’s playing a trick on me or something. I honestly believe that he likes me for me.”

I nodded at her. “Just don’t get hurt,” I added as she pulled me into a hug.

We had started walking again when she thought it was her turn to ask questions. “Hey, what happened with Draco? Something good I presume since you two came up holding hands,” she nudged me with her elbow.

“Well,” I started but stopped.

I know that Draco and I had never really talked about what was going on between us, but I was pretty sure that those same rules applied. No one can know about us. He had said us. Did he really mean to say us or something else? On one condition, I had agreed, as long as you don’t become too emotionally attached. I wasn’t really sure what our conversation meant now that I thought about it. I couldn’t tell anyone what was really going on until I talked to Draco.

“Earth to Courtney?” Kam said, poking me in the arm.

I looked over at her as we kept walking. “I honestly have no idea what is going on with Draco. I just hope something is and that’ll happen soon.”

It was the truth. Well, as much as I could tell Kam without her getting too suspicious. She nodded in understanding as we linked arms and found the castle in some sort of uproar. I reached out and grabbed Neville by the arm. He looked at me like I was crazy.

“What happened, Neville?” I asked, letting go of him and Kam.

“It’s Katie Bell,” he said breathlessly. “She’s been cursed.”

Kam and I exchanged glances. “Cursed by what?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Dunno, but Harry, Hermione, and Ron are being questioned about it. They saw the whole thing. Can you believe that? I hope they don’t get in trouble…”

With that, he walked away. Poor Katie. She was just a little thing, mind you she was older than me but everyone was taller than her. What could’ve happened to have her cursed though? It didn’t make since. Did she have someone after her? Or maybe it was just a mistake?

“Whatever it is,” Kam answered me. I didn’t realize that I had spoken those last few words out loud. “The person who did this is in deep shit.”

I sighed. “That’s if they find them.”

I looked up and saw Draco walking towards the Great Hall with Blaise at his side. He looked a little distracted and a little pale. His eyes didn’t shine as they did in the afternoon when he had looked deeply into hers. He gave her a smile smile and looked down at his feet. He looked so sad. I just wanted to run over there and pull him close to me. I knew I couldn’t do that though. I looked over at Blaise, who was waving at Kam with a goofy smile planted on his face. Maybe he really did like her. Surprises happen every day.

“We should go sit down,” Kam offered. “Maybe Harry and Hermione will join the three of us today.”

I rolled my eyes. “I highly doubt that. It’s almost been like they’ve been avoiding us, which is ridiculous. I mean, in the second year we helped Ron and Harry figure out where the Basilisk was hiding at and got Lockhart to go with them. Then in third year, we helped save Ron’s life, even though we put our own lives in danger with a murderer and a werewolf-“

“Sirius isn’t a murderer,” Kam felt the need to remind me.

“I know, but we didn’t know that at the time, but as I was saying, in fourth year, we went as dates with Ron and Harry so they wouldn’t have to find dates themselves. In the fifth year, we set up the whole Harry’s kiss with Cho and kept look out when they went to the Ministry. This year shouldn’t be any different. I don’t see why they’ve been acting like this,” I huffed as the trio entered the Great Hall.

“At least Ron’s been keeping us in the loop,” Kam added.

“Hey, guys,” Ron said, taking a seat next to Kam.

“We heard that you guys were being questioned about Katie being cursed?” Kamrynn asked as Harry sat on one side of my and Hermione on the other.

“Gosh, rumors spread like wildfire around this place,” Hermione scoffed.

I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, they questioned us,” Harry nodded.

I cleared my throat. “Well, who do they think it is?”

“They don’t think it’s anyone so far,” Ron commented. “It’s all rather stupid.”

“We think its Draco though,” Harry said quickly.

“What?” I looked over at him as my heart started to beat faster. “You can’t honestly think it’s him do you?”

He nodded. “I am one hundred percent sure that Draco is the one behind it. He’s a deatheater, Courtney. He probably has some kind of mission that needs to be fulfilled here at Hogwarts. I mean, honestly, Court, you’ve been spending way too much time with the git. He’s tricking you to make you believe that he’s not the bad guy. I know you can’t help spending time with him because-“

“Because why?” I wanted to know what he was going to say. Was he onto me? Did he know that I send longing glances Draco’s way? Did he know that I defend him every time his name comes into a conversation? Did he notice the way my heart beats faster at just a look from him? Did he know that I think I may be in love with him?

“Because you guys are partners in History of Magic, right?” Harry gave me a weird look. “Is there something more going on with you two? Come on, Court.”

I shook my head. “There’s not.”

He looked me deeply in the eyes. “There is. You’ve never been the best at lying, Court. Anyone can see from a mile away that you’ve been caught in a lie.”

“How could you even think about being with him, Court?” Ron asked, looking a little hurt. “I thought that you wanted me and was terribly jealous of Lavender. Are you just lonely, Court? I can help with that. I’ll break up with Lavender, and we-“

I shook my head. “No! I don’t want to go out with you Ron I’ve never wanted to. I’m not the jealous one, okay? You are like a brother to me and nothing will ever change that no matter how much you want it too. I will never ever even go there.”

“Man,” Ron muttered, looking down at his plate, “You really know how to tear a man down nicely, huh?”

“Now look what you did, Courtney,” Hermione said, reaching her hand to Ron’s. “He has real feelings for you, and there you go just yelling at him-“

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to yell it if he would let it sink through his thick skull. Besides, I tried warning him about Lavender. If he doesn’t listen to me, then what makes you think he actually wants to be with me? He was just playing the part, Hermione. He was just trying to be a ladies’ man, which he obviously isn’t very good at.”

“Well, this is what you get for having a relationship with Draco,” Harry started. “He’s probably going to break your heart more than what you just did to Ron’s.”

I stood and stomped off. What gives them any right to judge me for the actions that I took? It just didn’t make any sense. They all clearly need to be judged before they go around judging me. If this is what they’re going to do for the rest of the year, then none of them are friends of mine. I walked up to the astronomy tower and leaned against the balcony railing before letting out a massive scream.

“You’re really wanting to be caught up here after closing hours.”

I turned and smiled faintly. “Well, I’m just so angry. My friends have no idea what they are talking about.”

“What are your friends saying? That is if you want to talk about it.”

“They think that you’re to blame,” I said as he leaned against the railing beside me.

His grey eyes looked into mine. “That I’m to blame for what?”

“For cursing Katie Bell,” I said, looking away and up at the sky.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “What do you think?”

“I think they’re all full of shit.”

He laughed. “That’s good to know, but you shouldn’t put such high expectations on someone just because you want to think otherwise. You might be really let down in the end.”

The wind blew my hair in my face as I turned to look at him. He took his fingers and tucked the hair back behind my ear. His fingers then brushed my cheek ever so gently. It sent chills down my spine. I licked my lips. His dull eyes bored into mine so intensely that I thought I was going to die. I expected him to kiss me passionately, but the peck he left on my lips left much to be desired.

“There’s no point in defending me. People are going to believe what they’re going to believe with or without you’re pointless speeches. I don’t want you in my business, okay? You cannot get into it whatsoever,” he sighed. “I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”

“Draco,” I looked down but then right back up. “Do you really not want people to know about us?”

His face scrunched up. “What?”

“Back when we almost…you know, you told me that no one could know about us. Is that really what you meant or was it just a slip of the tongue?”

I really needed to know. Tears were stinging my eyes. I had to do it before I just let them go. Everything about him was sad, especially since I asked that question. I know it must’ve been a shock for me to have noticed anything that he had said in the heat of the moment, but I couldn’t help that I had such a great memory.

He sighed. “I meant it, but for reasons that you couldn’t possibly begin to understand.”

“Try me,” I smirked up at him. It was the least I could do to keep from crying.

“Maybe some other time where no one could walk in on us,” he said and sat down on the floor. “Courtney, do you ever wish there was something that you could take back? Something you did that you felt so guilty about?”

I sat down beside him. “There’s one thing that I wish I could take back.”

“What is it?” he asked, his eyes moist.

“That I wouldn’t have left you,” I said, starting to shed tears of my own.

It was the truth. I had been so afraid of telling him one ounce of something truthful for so long. I had been scared to even let him kiss me, but I had to say it. He could be my soul mate. I couldn’t lose him a second time. I know that I was eleven at the time and didn’t really know what I was doing, but things could’ve been different if I had gotten into Slytherin just like Draco and I had talked about. Perhaps we would’ve already been together. Maybe we wouldn’t have to hide us.

“I have a million regrets,” he said, taking a deep breath, “but you have never been one of them.”

His head then fell into my lap as he began to sob even harder. I started sobbing as well. We had both been truthful about something that we’ve been holding in for months, maybe years. It was all too much for us. No one can keep a secret locked up for so long. Eventually it would’ve came spilling out one way or another. I kissed Draco on the head before leaning against the wall and closing my eyes. My hands still in his hair.