Cigarette Burns

Around midnight all seven of us ended back up in the living room of Brian's beach house. We were all dry and back in our clothes from earlier on in the day, sitting around and watching a movie. Everyone was still drinking, but casually, no one was anywhere near being drunk, not even me. I sat on the love seat, comfortably squished between Matt and Johnny. My thinning figure helped out in the midst of that, along with Johnny's small figure compared to the other boys as well.

"Are you getting tired?" Matt whispered as he peeled his eyes away from the television to look at me. The movie was nearly at the end.

I thought about that for a moment and shrugged my shoulders, "I'm getting there. Are you?"

Matt nodded his head a little, "same. It's been a long day."

I looked over at everyone else. Jimmy somehow managed to be sleeping in the cushioned chair directly across from us. His right side was leaning against the back of the chair, his back against the one arm and his legs dangling off the opposite side of the arm as his back, facing the television. I looked to my right, in between Jimmy and us to the couch. Zacky was at the farthest end near Jimmy's chair, leaned up against the side of it with Rhi curled up to his side. He had his left arm around her shoulders and his right arm keeping his head up. Next to Rhi at the other end of the couch was Brian. He was still slightly awake with his beer in his hand. His head kept falling forward and then his eyes would shoot open and bring his head back. He'd take a sip of his beer and then his head fell forward again. I giggled lightly as he followed through with a routine each time. I looked to my right at Johnny. He had his arm on the arm rest of the love seat with his head propped up on it. His eyes were closed and he was taking deep and steady breaths. He was completely out.

I smiled at my new friends. "I guess it has been," I mumbled more to myself then to Matt.

I heard him lightly chuckle as he draped his right arm across my shoulder. He lightly rubbed the upper part of my arm, "ready to hit the sack?" I nodded my head and then Matt stood up, pulling me with him.

"Thank God you know your way around here," I mumbled to myself as Matt guided me away from whatever I almost ran into.

Matt chuckled, "so you don't trip over your own feet?"

I turned around and glared at him, but he couldn't see because the entire house was dark. "Where are we going anyways?"

Matt paused, "do you want to stay here or go back to one of our places?"

I turned around and looked at him, "what do you want to do?" I quietly mumbled.

"Do you want to go back to my house to sleep?" I nodded my head and then he began to steer me towards the door to go outside.

"Aren't you going to leave them a note? They're all asleep in there."

"They know if we're not here then we're at one of our places, its okay," Matt explained. I shrugged my shoulders and kept walking.

"Are you hungry at all?" Matt asked as he started the ignition and began to back out of the driveway.

I shook my head, "no way, I'm still full from dinner." Matt chuckled and nodded his head.

He turned on the radio and let Metallica pour from the speakers as we made small-talk on our way back to his house. When we got to his street he turned the music down even further and drove up to his house, he pulled into the driveway and cut the ignition. He glanced over at me, "do you want to get anything of yours or are you okay?"

I really didn't want to have to step foot in Tony's house so I shook my head, "no, I'll be fine. Thanks though."

Matt smiled and opened his door with me following suit. We walked up to the back door of the house and Matt pulled his key out to unlock the door. He allowed me to go in first and then shut and locked the door behind him. We made our way up to his room and closed the door after us before turning on the light.

To me, his room looked like what I thought a typical teenage boy’s room would. There were a few clothing articles spread out on the floor along with just about anything else, CD's, books, movies. His bed was unmade and posters dominated most of the walls. Across the room from his bed on a shelf was a television with video games and a stereo right next to it. I smiled at how real everything looked.

Matt laughed, "Sorry about the mess. It's basically always like this."

I turned around to face him and kept my smile, "I like it."

Matt smiled but his eyes looked sad realizing that everything was all new to me. He took the remaining step towards me and wrapped his arms around my body. "I'm sorry," he mumbled into my neck. I shrugged my shoulders, it wasn't his fault, and there was nothing he could do. "Do you want something to sleep in?"

I looked at what I was wearing and back up at him, "yes please."

He walked towards a closet and grabbed a random t-shirt off a hanger and then moved to his dresser that was right beside his closet and opened the top drawer. He pulled out a pair of boxers and then made his way back towards me, "here you go. The bathroom is across the hall or I can leave the room."

I remembered back to today's earlier events, "its okay. It's not really different from when we were at Brian’s." Matt nodded his head. He emptied out the pockets of his shorts and tossed everything on his dresser. He removed his shirt and pants as he was over there. I was so caught up in watching him that I forgot what I was doing.

Matt turned around and looked at me for a moment, studying my face, "are you okay?" I snapped back and blushed when I realized that not only had I been staring at Matt, but I was standing in the middle of his room topless. I quickly nodded my head and made my hair fall in my face so that he wouldn't notice my redden cheeks. I threw on the Guns 'N' Roses t-shirt that he gave me and removed my shorts from earlier, quickly replacing them with the boxers Matt had provided.

Matt turned off the lights when I was done and told me to just keep my clothes on the floor and that it didn't matter to him. I stood in my spot, not really sure what I was supposed to be doing. I heard him lightly chuckle in the darkness. On his way back from turning the lights off he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his bed... well mattress on the floor. He laid down and lightly pulled me down with him, I tripped on the edge of the mattress and landed partially on him with a thump. "Ouu," I moaned.

I felt Matt sit up, "are you okay?" I could tell he was trying to contain laughter. I huffed and nodded.

"If you used a proper bed, this would've never happened," I playfully scowled and then laughed.

I felt Matt wrap his arms around me, "I'm sorry," he whispered. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. "Come on then, let's get some sleep," he carefully lowered me down with him, so I wouldn't cause myself anymore harm. He wrapped the blankets around us and snuggled deep into the comfort of his bed. I laid flat on my back, unsure of what to do. I convinced myself to try and act normal, as if Tony never had existed, but it was hard. Tony was all I had ever known. I couldn't even portray movies, because I wasn't always allowed to watch them. I huffed and crossed my arms, all this thinking of Tony was really starting to make me angry. "What's wrong?" Matt mumbled into my shoulder.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted.

Matt propped his head up on his hand, "what do you mean?"

I sighed, "I don't know what to do... being with Tony is all I've ever known."

Matt put his arm across my stomach and gently rubbed my side, "just go with whatever feels natural to you Riley."

I nodded my head and let my mind open. I turned on my side so that I was facing Matt and snuggled up close to him. I felt him smile and wrap his arm around me tighter, pulling me even closer. I smiled to myself and put my arm around him too. I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply, more then content with how we were. I felt Matt's head move a little followed by the feeling of his lips against my very own. It came as a surprise to me, but I smiled nonetheless. "Goodnight Riley," Matt whispered before he kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight Matt," I whispered before falling into a deep sleep.