If You Only Knew

Father: "Your no fucking use!! You faggot! Get the fuck out of here!"

I storm off to my room as fast as I can. I start sobbing wondering why my father hates me. I never would do anything to try to hurt him. It's the alcohol, my mother always told me. I hear them fighting downstairs, it's normal, part of life so I say. I begin to dread that I don't stand up for myself. Seventeen years he's torture me verbally, mentally, and now he's trying physically. I just got lucky he didn't hit me this time. He usually throws knives and punches at me to see if I'm man enough. He just recently found out I'm bisexual. That pissed him off. "I don't want a faggot son!", exact words he said to me. Thinking about it makes me cry even more. My mother is a sweet woman, how did she earn that piece of shit? I wonder how was he like when she met him. Charming? Goody goody as I suspect. I know my mother would have never I repeat never, prostitute for money. My father just recently lost his job, because of his attitude towards the customers. Alcohol. I remember when I was seven or so and he was a happy man. He loved me a whole lot. Now, he hates me and thinks of me as a worthless soul. In my words that is how he treats me. I do everthing he says. No reward . My mom loves me though. She never gave up on me. She was and is still there for me. She is not home most of the time. Her customers are always out of town. So it's only me and dad.

Father: "Hey, kid! Get down here!"

I grumpily walk downstairs and dread what is to come.

Frank: "yes."
Father: "Go fuck yourself!" he laughs.

I stare at him and tear up. He mocks me and backhands for no
reason.

Father:"That's for being a faggot!"

On second thought I lied. I couldn't take the pressure so I ran out to my secret place. I ran until I found the pathway. I found it when I was ten, it was covered in leaves. I followed it until it ended a couple feet from a creek. I found the creek and sat there sobbing. I suddenly heard rustling leaves, like a crunch as if someone was coming. My first action was panic and hide. I got up and hid in the bushes. I thought my father found me so I prayed. It was a young man who descended from the bushes. A good looking guy, bleached blonde hair and beautiful eyes. He seemed to be happy, he smiled the whole way here. I envied his smile. I can't do that anymore. I forgot how to smile. With all this Shit happening to me how can I smile. He seems peaceful and sits down by the creek. I watch his every move. He's throwing rocks into the creek and hums. I stare at him for a while, mesmerized by his good looks. Something I don't have. I finally gathered the courage to walk out. I depart from the tree and walk slowly out if the bushes. He must've heard me because he looked up surprised. I blushed and just stared at him.

Guy: "Hello, I'm Gerard," he smiled.

What a lovely name I thought.

Frank:"...Frank.."
Gerard:"Hi Frank, what are you doing here?"
Frank:"Reasons. You?"
Gerard:"oh....um...enjoying nature," that god damn smile.
Frank:"Sorry, I'm pretty frustrated right now, I'm here just to getaway from home."

I look down blushing, if he ever noticed my constant blushing, he never seemed to take action of it.

Gerard:"..oh...um....sorry?"
Frank:"don't be."

He smiled again not knowing what to say, as of right now I don't know either.

Gerard:" Lovely day."
Frank:"Yes, yes it is."

I smiled for the first time, I'm actually having conversation with someone. Usually everyone avoids me. He looked at me again and just smiles. I smile back not knowing what to do.

Gerard:" Uh...Frank..?"
Frank:"...yes.."
Gerard:"you okay?"
Frank:" Fine." I fake smile.

-Gerards POV-
Whoever this poor guy is, I find him a fragile soul, I want to help him. He is just so cutely gorgeous. I smile at him to make him stop frowning. He just keeps giving me sad face. He keeps blushing, its so cute.

-Frank-
I want to leave it just keeps getting more awkward. He keeps staring at me like he knows something. I fear that he'll find out who I really am. So to end this silence I take the first step.

Frank: " um...I think I better go now."
Gerard :"Yeah, me to."
Frank:" ok, bye."

I walk as fast as I can to get away from him. I don't need anymore of this.

-Gerard-
Whoever he is, I know now I won't stop thinking about him.