Love Isn't Always Fair...

~Andy'sPOV~

I must have been upstairs for hours, just sat in the same spot, crying. Ashley's words were ringing in my ears. They were floating above my head.

"you're not the Andy I fell in love with" I repeat Ashley's words as tears spill out of my eyes. Ashley is right, I have changed and I don't like it. I hate myself. I feel nothing, just sadness and anger. I don't feel happy, I don't feel love. I don't even know if I love Ashley anymore. I've become a monster.

I heard Ashley coming up the stairs towards the bedroom. He opens the door just as a tear rolled down my cheek. Ashley looks at me and I wipe away the tear.

"Andy"

"W-what!?"

"I just wanted to say that..."

"Save it Ashley"

"But Andy..." He sits on the bed, near me. I move away from him.

"I said, save it!"

"No, I won't!"

"Why!"

"Because I love you, that's why!"

"No you don't" I whisper it, but not quiet enough.

"What!"

"You heard me!"

"Why are you saying all of this Andy!"

"..."

"Andy! Fucking say something!"

"You know what Ashley! You're really starting to piss me right off! You think you know me, but you don't! You know nothing about me! So why don't you just fucking back off and leave me the fuck alone!" I lash out at him, not knowing where all this anger had suddenly come from. I look at his face.

Anger flashed in his eyes, but that was soon taken over by hurt and upset. This was no ordinary upset, not the sort of upset of where your fish has died, this was heartbroken upset.

"You really have changed Andy. Sometimes, I wish you would tell me things, I sometimes wish you would let me inside of that head of yours. Sometimes, I wish I could help you, but maybe I'm not good enough for you Andy, maybe you don't love me anymore" Ashley whispers the last bit as he looks to the floor.

I look at him, shocked and upset. Shocked and upset at me, not Ashley, but me.

"I do love you Ashley, I love you with all my heart" actually, I didn't know if I did. All I feel is sadness and anger.

"Then show it me Andy! Show me that you love me because right now, i feel like you don't. I feel like you...hate me? You've become distant from me, you won't let me touch you, you won't talk to me, I miss you Andy! I miss your hugs, our cuddles, our talks, I miss holding your hand, snuggling up with you on the sofa under your batman blanket, watching Batman with you, I miss holding you in my arms, I miss watching you sleep, I miss stroking your hair as you fall asleep on my lap with me, humming a tune to you, I miss going to the beach or the mall or the park with you. I miss showing you of to the world, I miss feeling proud of who I am when I'm with you, I miss the feel of your lips against mine, I miss looking into your blue eyes and getting lost in them, I miss lying in the back garden with you, in my arms, gazing at the stars together, I miss watching the sun set on the beach with you. God damn it Andy! Can you not see, I fucking miss you to death!"

I look at Ashley, hot tears were filling up in my eyes. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Ashley, I.." Ashley cuts me of by holding his hand up.

"Save it Andy, I'm going downstairs, I need to be on my own" Ashley gets up and I watch him walking out of the bedroom.

When Ashley was gone, I let the tears that I have been holding back, escape.

"I miss you too Ashley, I miss you too"

I cry until I couldn't cry no more. I cried that much, I felt tired.

Just as I was about to crawl in bed to get some sleep, Ashley comes to the bedroom. I look up at him. He too, had been crying. I hate what I am doing to him. I hate that I am hurting him. I hate what I'm becoming.

"Don't go sleep Andy, Jake texted me, we are having a band meeting at his" Ashley looks at me coldly. I just nod my head.

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs..." He grabs his bass and walks downstairs. I carry my broken body to the bathroom. I turn the shower on and I strip. The bruises and the cuts were still there. It was like, they are refusing to heal. They want to be on my body, they want me to look down at them and think of what Harry has done to me.

I swallow the lump that had formed in my throat as I climb into the shower. I scrub my body until it was red raw. I wash my hair and I wash off all the shampoo. When I was done, I climb out off the shower and I wrap a towel around my waist.

I make my way to the bedroom and I dry myself off. I put on some batman boxers and I pick out my black skinny jeans, with holes in the legs, my BOTDF top and a BOTDF zip up hoodie. I dry my hair with the towel and I blast it with the hair dryer.

I plug in the straighteners and as they were heating up, I line my eyes with eye liner and I put on some black eye shadow. When my straighteners were hot, I straighten my hair and I tease it at the top and I spray it with hairspray. I turn the Straighteners off and I unplug them.

I look in the mirror. I look better than what I did before. I sigh as I put on my high tops and I make my way downstairs.

I see that Ashley was waiting for me. He looks up at me and smiles. I smile weakly as he comes up to me.

"You look beautiful" I nod my head.

"Thanks"

"You ready?"

"Yeah"

~TimeLaspe;30Minutes~

Me and Ashley walked to Jake's house in complete silence. We were both lost in our own thoughts that we didn't realise that we had reached Jake's.

Ashley knocked on the door and CC opens the door.

"Hey man!" CC hugs Ashley and Ashley hugs him back.

"Hey CC"

"Good to see you!"

"Good to see you too" CC smiles as Ashley walks over to Jinxx and Jake. He was greeted by hugs and smiles. CC looks at me.

"Hi Andy"

"Hi"

"It's good to see you. Not seen you since..." he cuts himself off. I just nod.

"I know and I'm sorry"

"There is no need to be sorry" CC pulls me into a hug. I wanted to push him off, but I didn't want him to think anything was wrong, it was bad enough with Ashley on my back 24/7. I hug CC back and CC pulls away.

"Come on in"

I walk in where the rest of the group was. I was greeted by hugs and smiles. We all sit down in a circle on the floor, Jinxx, Jake, CC, Me and Ashley.

They all started to talk about the band. What the band should be called, the songs we should have. Our genre. I just, shut down. I stared into space, totally blanking out the rest of the group. I was lost in my thoughts, my flashbacks.

CC snapped his fingers in my face and I jumped out of my daydream.

"Huh?"

"You okay Andy, you was staring into space for 15 minutes" CC looks at me with a smile on his face. I nod my head and fake smile.

"Yeah, I'm okay"

"Good"

"Hey Andy" I look at Jinxx.

"Yes?"

"Have you and Ashley had sex?"

"Jinxx, you cannot just ask him that!" Jake pushes him.

"I'm just wondering!" I swallow the lump that had formed in my throat. I fight back tears.

"Ummmmm" I could see from the corner of my eye that Ashley was blushing, like mad!

"You have! Haven't you! I knew it!" Jinxx laughs.

"Wait, how can two guys have sex?" CC looked confused. Jinxx, Jake and Ashley burst out laughing.

"CC, they get fucked in the ass!" Jake says. Flashback of Harry come flooding back. I quickly wipe away a tear that had fallen.

I lean over to Ashley.

"I want to go home" I whisper to him.

Ashley looks at me. He doesn't question why, he just nods.

"Okay baby. Hey guys. Andy is getting tired, we're gonna go home. He's hardly had any sleep lately"

"Sure, that's okay. See you guys, maybe tomorrow?" Jinxx asks.

"Sure. Bye guys"

"Bye"

Me and Ashley make our way home in silence. I fight back tears.

We reach Ashley's house and he unlocks the door. He opens it for me and I walk in. I walk into the living room as I heard Ashley closing the door and dumping his keys on the coffee table.

I sit down on the sofa as tears rolled down my eyes.

"Andy, what's wrong?" Ashley sounded worried.

"Sit down"

"Okay" Ashley sits down next to me and I place my hands on my knees as I felt tears dripping onto my hands.

"Ashley, I need to tell you something"