Even Without Words

Kellin 43

I can’t remember much from the fire, but I can certainly remember enough. Some of the teachers were screaming as I saw one of Eric’s friend throw a lighter and close our door. He ran to the left and out of sight as the fire alarm went off. My teacher ran to open the door but burned her hand really badly so the fire was raging already. The smoke was coming in from the open window above the door and was filling the whole room. Everyone dropped to the floor to try and stay with the clean air but it wasn’t working. I was coughing and wheezing and I didn’t even want to breathe anymore because the smoke was pouring into the room. My eyes were getting heavy as the firefighters kicked in the door. Most of the kids were managing to walk out with only a little help from the firefighters and before one could find me, I slipped out of it and passed out. I’m not exactly sure what happened next but I heard Vic screaming my name. Whoever was carrying me put me on something soft and I heard Vic screaming again.

“Don’t you dare die on me Kells,” He was crying. I felt his hand in mine and tried to squeeze it. I managed to open my eyes one last time to see his beautiful face, twisted into sadness before my eyes shut again. I wish I could’ve done more for him but my body wasn’t in any state to be moving.

I was back at the beach in the cave alone and crying my eyes out because I just had this feeling that Vic had died. No, not died. Killed himself because he thought I was dead. It was all my fault! I couldn’t stand myself. The most beautiful, wonderful boy I’d ever met who would’ve changed the world was dead and it was all because of me. It was time to stop being pathetic and doing nothing. I got up and didn’t even bother to brush the sand off of me before walking towards the ocean. I felt hollow as I stepped into the freezing water. I kept walking until the water was up to my neck and then started swimming out farther. The waves started overpowering me and I was glad when they started pulling me under. I saw the dying light turn grey from the water above me as my lungs stopped working. This is it, I’ll finally be with my Vic again. I’ll get to hug him and we could be together again. I cried in my last few moments alive before everything twisted and turned black.

I sat up with a gasp and let my eyes adjust to the dark. There was an obnoxious beeping beside me and I realized that I was alone in a hospital room. Alone. Nothing let on that anyone had been in here. What about Vic? Was he actually dead? Did they have to kick him out or restrain him? What on earth happened?

“Oh, you’re up,” I heard a voice. It was Beau. He looked incredibly sad.

“What happened? Where’s Vic?” I asked frantically.

“Well, you inhaled a lot of smoke in the fire that Craig started,” He sighed. “Vic came with you in the ambulance but the ambulance got hit by another one of Eric’s old friends who were bent on hurting you too. The other guy didn’t make it out alive and neither did the driver of the ambulance. One of the paramedics got injured and Vic got crushed.”

“OH MY GOD IS HE OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED?! YOU NEED TO TELL ME BEAU,” I shouted and started breaking down.

“Shhh, shhh, Kellin it’ll be okay,” Beau told me. “He’s mostly okay. He’s alive.”

“Where is he?” I sniffed and Beau got up. He pulled back the curtain opposite my bed to reveal a really beaten looking Vic, laying unconscious.

“He was awake about a half hour ago but fell back asleep once the doctors told him you were fine and that he needed to sleep,” Beau still looked pretty sad.

“What else?” I asked, knowing he was keeping something from me.

“Well, not all of Vic made it out okay,” He said.

“What do you mean?” I demanded. This day was just getting worse.

“He had to have a leg amputated because it got too crushed in the crash,” He said.

“That’s….” I trailed off. “Terrible but manageable. Oh god Beau, you scared me so bad.”

“I’m sorry,” He apologized. “I know it’s not ideal but it’s not like it’ll change too much though. You two will be fine, I know it.”

“Thank you Beau,” I smiled at him. “I’m really glad you were here. It means a lot to me.”

“No problem Kellin,” He smiled back. “All the other guys went to get some breakfast but I had a feeling you’d wake up while everyone was gone so I stayed back.”

“You should go eat something, I’ll be fine,” I told him.

“I’ll be back soon,” He stood up.

“I’m going to nap,” I told him before he left.

Instead of napping, I called the nurse who gave me some nasty ass hospital breakfast and stared at my sleeping boyfriend. His head was bandaged up a little and I couldn’t see his legs. I wonder how much he lost, or even which one? I mean, I still love him more than my own life and this doesn’t change anything, it’s just more of a curiosity thing. Like, my boyfriend now only has one full leg. Beau had said he’d been up so hopefully he’s had time to come to terms with it but I won’t really know until I talk to him. I was praying to any god that was listening that he would just wake up so I could tell him how much I still loved him and how this didn’t matter and how I’d help him with anything he needed. Or at least send me one of the guys to keep me company. To my surprise, Gabe walked in then and sat in the plastic chair beside me that had been occupied by Beau a few minutes prior. It was supposed to be Vic’s spot but I guess that wasn’t happening right now. Today really sucks and all I wanted was to lay next to Vic and hear him sing me to sleep.