Black Veil Brides; One Shots.

-CC'sPOV-

New Year's Eve. Me, Jake, Jinxx and Ashley are all sat around Andy's table. We all take it in turns to have dinner at each others houses.

Seeing as Andy hasn't had been the host, it was his turn, plus, he could use the company. On Christmas Day, he came home from touring, to find Juliet fucking his best friend.

I know, Christmas Day. Harsh right?

He's still trying to get over it. I don't blame him to be honest. I looked up as I heard a roar of laughter erupting from my band mates to find that Jinxx was flat on his back, his chair tipped over.

Ashley wiped away a tear of laugher.

"What have we t-told you about l-leaning back on your c-chair?!" Ashley managed to stutter out between his laugher.

"To not do it! And now I know why!" Jinxx stood up, rubbing his back, his face scrunched up in pain. He lifted his chair back up as the rest of the group calmed their laughing down.

They all started to talk about something. I completely zoned out. I looked down at my lap, my long black hair covering my face. I only had eye liner on today. No foundation or anything. I feel naked without it.

I feel disgusting.

I hate Christmas and New Year's Eve. Why? Because you have to be happy and the food. I hate food so much. It's my enemy.

I hold secrets. Dark secrets. Secrets about my past and secrets about myself.

The gang and the fans see me as this bubbly, cheerful guy that doesn't give a fuck what anyone says. But really, it's all an act.

I do care what people say. When people call me a faggot or a cunt, It hurts, it hurts alot. I'm actually a quiet person. I've got my own bubble around me and I won't let people in, because I'm scared of what they'd think of the real me.

It's not like I trust my band mates. I do, it's just, if they knew the real me, would they treat me differently? Would they disown me? Not want to know me? And worse of all, would he love me?

Yeah. I'm in love with a guy. I'm bisexual but the band doesn't know that. He's straight. He has a girlfriend. Ella Cole. She's beautiful and amazing. I can see why he loves her so much.

You've probably guessed who I've fallen for. I, Christian Coma, have fallen for Jake Pitts.

It's just, everything about him. His looks, his personality, the way he plays the guitar. I love him. I have done for 2 years now and it hurts when I see him with Ella. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Ella, it's just that everytime I see then kiss, or hug or when I hear them having sex, I wish it was me.

Andy was busy in kitchen, messing about with the pots. We heard a big clank as something fell on the floor.

Jinxx sighed and got up.

"Better see if he needs help." He turned his back and walked in to the kitchen.

"Hey CC?" I looked at Ashley, who was sat next to me and opposite Jinxx. I was sat opposite Jake and Andy was sitting at the end of the table on the right.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You've not said anything since we got here."

"Oh. I'm fine. Just thinking." I looked away and saw Jake looking at me. He locked his gaze on mine for a few seconds before I looked back down at my lap.

I let it hair hid my face again so Jake or Ashley couldn't see my smile or the blush that was creeping up on my cheeks.

Jake looked at me!

"Dinner is served!" I looked up to a pleased looking Andy, who was wearing an apron that said "naked chef" on it.

He proudly held up plates of steaming food. Following him was Jinxx.

Andy and Jinxx served the food to everyone. I bite my lip as i looked at mine.

My plate was piled with roast beef, two Yorkshire puddings, a mountain of mash potato, carrots, roast potatoes and it was all swimming in gravy.

I gulped. How many calories is all this? I looked up to my band mates, who were stuffing their faces like pigs.

"C'mon C. You've hardly touched yours." I looked at Andy who was looking concerned and hurt.

Shit! I didn't want him to feel hurt.

"Oh. Sorry, I, urm, spaced out for a minute."

"You've been spacing out a lot recently. You okay CC?" I looked at Jake, who had a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I picked up my knife and fork and I dug my fork into some beef. I bite my lip as I forced myself to eat it.

I went to reach for some salt when my top lifted up a bit, pulling some of my bracelets, showing old scars and a recent cut. Jake looked at my arm and stopped eating for a second.

I looked at where he was looking and my eyes widened. I quickly pulled back my arm and pulled my sleeve and bracelets down. I kept my eye on my plate as I felt Jakes eye burning a hole in my skull. I carried on eating, acting like he never saw anything.

Before I knew it, my plate was empty. Why didn't I stop?! Panic and guilt washed over me. I looked at my belly, which was sticking out.

I started to sweat. I need to get rid of all this poison!

Running a hand through my hair, I stood up and faked a smile at Andy.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"Sure. Go straight up the stairs and turn right. You'll see it." Andy smiles as he and Jinxx clear the table.

I felt Jake watching me as I walked past him. I ran up the stairs and turned to my right. Sure enough, there was the bathroom.

I shut the door and knelt in front of the toilet. I tied my hair back in a pony tail and rolled my sleeves up.

I stuck two fingers down my throat and closed my eyes, preparing myself for the gagging and the burning sensation.

I pushed my fingers further down my throat and sure enough, I felt my food, along with bile, coming back up.

I threw it all in the toilet, tears streaming down my face because of the burning sensation, but mainly because I'll never be perfect.

I'll never be skinny or beautiful. He'll never love me.

After I was satisfied that my stomach was completely empty, I stood up and flushed the chain.

I wiped my face and took my hair out of the ponytail. I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror.

"You'll never be perfect for him. Look at yourself. You're worthless, disgusting, fat, pathetic. No one wants you. You might as well be dead!" The voices inside my head told me.

I bite it lip as I reached into my back pocket for my phone. I took the back of it and lay on the battery, was my razor.

I smiled as I picked it up with shaky hands. I rolled my sleeve up and moved my bracelets to reveal my arm, covered in faded scars, some old, some new.

I stroked my most resent cut. I took a deep breath as I guided my razor smoothly across my scars.

I cut my arm several time before I heard the door opening. My eyes widened and I froze.

"Hey C, you've been up here-" Jake cut himself off as he saw my arm. I dropped my razor as I looked at Jake.

His face flashed hurt and worry. He finally snapped out of it and grabbed a towel and rinsed it with warm water.

He took my arm in his hand and he began to gently clean my cuts.

"Why C?" He nearly whispered it, like he was trying to stop himself from crying.

"Because I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect, not for anyone and because of my past."

"CC, you are perfect."

"No I'm not. I'll never be perfect for anyone and certainly not him!"

"Him? You love someone?" I froze.

"Y-yeah."

"Who is he?"

"You." I muttered. Jake looked at me confused for a seconded, trying to figure out what I've just said, then his eyes widened.

"M-me? You love me?" I looked to the floor.

"How long for?"

"2 years. I understand if you hate me Jake."

"Hate you? Baby, I don't hate you." I looked up at him.

"You don't?"

"Of course not because you wanna know a secret?" I nodded.

"I love you too." My eye widened and my heart rate sped up.

"What about Ella?"

"She's just a back up. She knows I love you, we're just friends."

"B-but the sex.."

"We faked it. We didn't have sex. We just made noises and jumped on the bed a little. CC, I love you! Alot!"

I looked at him in disbelief. I stayed frozen, unable to say anything. Jake put the towel down and grabbed the first aid kit.

He got some bandages out and before he put then on, he grabbed my arm and kissed each individual cut and scar.

My eye started to tear up as he moved onto my other arm. I let my tears fall as he wrapped them up.

He planted a soft and gentle kiss on my arms again before holding my hands and looking at me.

A tear fell and he softly wiped it away with his thumb.

"Don't cry baby."

"I'm sorry. It's just that, I've never felt loved before and what you did, made me feel loved and happy." I smiled softly, a real one this time.

I locked my finger behind his neck as he placed his hands on my hips. We leant in and our lips met.

We shared a slow, yet passionate kiss. Fireworks were going off in my belly. Jake pulled away too soon.

He pressed his forehead against mine and looked in my eyes.

"Be my boyfriend?" I gave him a wide smile as I kissed him again as my response. I pulled away and Jake chuckled.

"I'll take that as a yes?" I blushed and nodded.

"I love you CC."

"I love you too Jake."