The Calm

Alan's POV

It was a week later, and I was still so happy to be blessed with Tayuh and Oliver. Strangely enough, they both had my ginger locks, and Austin's big, warm, beautiful brown eyes. They were some of the happiest babies too.

When Austin came home from work he'd drop everything to give me a quick hello kiss, and then scoop up one of the twin's and play with them. He was such a great dad!

It was the next day, Austin had left for work, and the twins were still sleeping. I was exhausted, but couldn't sleep. Something felt... wrong, but I couldn't tell what it was. I constantly checked up on the kids, but they were just fine.

"You're losing it, Alan." I said as I looked at my reflection. "Everything's okay." I splashed cold water on my face and went back into the living room. I plopped down on the couch and turned the TV on. My cat Mittens came running in through the cat door Austin had installed. She was meowing loudly. She ran to me and hopped on my lap, and then dug her nail's into my thighs.

"Ow Mittens!" I shouted. I pushed her off my lap, and she fell to the floor. She hissed at me and ran away.

'What could've troubled her so much to be acting like this?' I thought. I got up and walked to the door. I started opening it, but then stopped myself. I was only wearing boxers. I shrugged it off and swung open the door. The pit of my stomach dropped and my eyes widened. There stood Maddie on the bridge, her eyes closed arms outstretched.

"MADDIE DON'T!" I screamed. I started racing towards her, but it was too late.

"I said life was meaningless without you Alan." Her soft, angelic voice said. "Goodbye." Before I could grab her arm to stop her, she fell back.

"Maddie." Her name escaped my lips. I fell to my knees as tears poured out of my eyes. "Maddie!" My whole body shook as I called her name out. I couldn't save her, this was my fault. She killed herself because of me.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. I gathered myself together, and looked over the bridge. There Maddie's body lay, dead. I lost it and turned back around and puked everywhere.

When I was done I went back to the house and strait to the fridge. I pulled out one of Austin's beers and chugged it down. I could hear crying from the baby, but right now I didn't care. I chugged the whole can of beer, and started on another one. Today was going to be a long day.

Austin's POV

I was driving home, because I promised Alan I'd spend my lunch break at home everyday from now on. I pulled into the driveway and got out of my car. I quickly put my hand over my nose, something reeked! I decided to check it out later and went into my house. The first thing I heard was the sound of babies whaling.

"Alan!" I called as I ran up the stairs to go see if the babies were okay. I went upstairs and into the nursery. I picked up Tayuh first and saw she had a dirty diaper. I checked Oliver, and saw he too had a dirty diaper. I quickly changed them, and then carried them both downstairs into the kitchen.

"Alan where are you?" I called again. "I need some help!" I set the babies down on the counter as I started making there bottles.

"W-what do you- hiccup- want?" I turned and saw Alan stumble in, a beer can in hand.

"Alan, I thought you didn't drink?" I asked as I made the bottles. I finished one and gave it to Oliver, and his screams quickly ended as he started sucking hard on the bottle.

"T-Times change and p-p-people do to." Alan replied, taking a swig of his beer. It was so obvious he was drunk. I finished the other bottle and gave it to Tayuh. I scooped up both of the babies and held them. I didn't want Alan holding them.

"Lemme hold one!" Alan exclaimed, holding his arms out.

I walked away. "I don't think its best for you too." I said quietly.

"There my fucking kids too!" Alan shouted.

Oliver dropped his bottle and started crying. I sighed and picked it up and cleaned the top of it, and then put it back in his mouth. I started walking to the nursery and set them in their crib. I leaned over the top and held the bottles in place.

"Why d-don't you-hiccup- prop it?" Alan asked, watching from the doorstep.

"They can choke that way." I said quietly. I saw they were finishing up, and picked both of them up and started burping them. After 5 minutes, Tayuh burped and I set her back into her crib. A few minutes later Oliver let out a loud burp too. I laughed and set him back in his crib.

Alan grabbed my wrist hard, his fingernails digging into my old scars.

"Alan stop!" I shouted, trying to pull away. He refused to, and instead made eye contact with me.

"If I wanna see my fucking kid, I get to fucking see them. Do you understand?" He said, his voice low. He was scaring me. I didn't say anything. His grip on my wrist tightened. "DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!" He screamed.

I looked away, tears starting to brim my eyes. He slapped me hard on the face. He grabbed me by my cheeks and brought my face inches away from his. "When I fucking talk to you, you not only look me in the fucking eye, but do you reply, you got it?" I nodded, and he let go of my face, but kept his grip on my wrist. He drug me out of the room and into ours, shutting and locking the door behind us.

"Alan, you need to-" Before I could finish my sentence he sent a fist flying at my face. It connected with my cheek and I could feel nothing but pain.

"Don't tell me what the f-fuck to do!" He shouted. He punched me again, and again, and again, until finally I was on the ground in tears.

"Get up, ya fucking pussy!" Alan shouted. I slowly got up, my body weak from all of Alan's physical abuse. I quickly limped out of the room and ran to the bathroom. I locked myself in, and pulled out my blade. I don't know what I did, but now Alan hated me. I must've done something so horrific that it turned him to drinking, and he must be one of those people who get really mad and hateful when there drunk.

I pressed the razor down on my wrist and drug it deeply across. I did it again and again until finally there were 3 new fresh cuts. I teared up but quickly wiped them away.

"OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR!" Alan shouted as he pounded his fist on it. I quickly put the razor away and rolled my sleeve down. I opened the door and saw Alan waiting there. I pushed past him and went into the nursery. I scooped up Tayuh and Oliver and started heading for the front door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Alan asked, slurring most of his words.

I stopped walking and turned towards him and looked into his beautiful brown eyes. I could tell by the look in them that he was hurting. "I'm getting the fuck away from you." I said, and left, heading over to Phil's.

Alan's POV

"Don't leave!" I called after Austin, my eyes filling with tears. He ignored me though and got into his car and drove away. "Come back!" I screamed, but it was to late. I turned back around and walked back inside. I went into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

"You're so fucking stupid!" I said to myself. I smacked my hand hard against my head. "Austin hates you now."

I only did it though because it was helping to get my anger out. But now I was alone and sad, left with only my thoughts.

"I need to get away." I said. I got up and started heading to the bathroom. "I need to get away from it all." I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills. I poured the rest of the bottle out into my hand and swigged them down with my beer. I went into the bedroom and laid down. I closed my eyes and passed out.