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I climbed up on the roof, to be met by a destroyed Gerard.
He had been drinking, I could smell stank of booze and sweat sting in my nose.
''You should not be here Frank.''
He looked dangerous, it felt like he able to kill me with just his eyes.

Gerard was drunk and apparently really upset and angry, I didn't show any fear.
I refused to lose him again.
I wasn't gonna let him scare me away.
I could see that he was holding a knife, it wasn't a small razor blade, without a knife.
He had already cut a pretty deep wound in his arm.
''You shouldn't do that Gerard.''
He looked at me, with a rather angry look.
He had clearly been drinking a lot.
He walked with a decided step up to me, I moved my business, I knew I couldn't show any fear. Although I was scared of him in this situation.

''What?'' He drilled into my eyes.
I loved them with my eyes.
When I looked into them, I saw not only a future, I saw freedom.
I saw the feeling of being myself, with someone I love.
I saw the happiness and well-being.
I saw myself never have to be scared, I saw myself with Gerard.
''I said you should not hurt yourself.''
I pulled the knife out of his hand.
I could see his eyes narrowed.
''Give me back the knife Frank.''
''No.''
He turned around and I could see how he started breathing faster and deeper.
''Don't make me have to hurt you Frank, give me the knife.''

just at that moment.when he said it, did a sweep of courage.
I realized that I'd rather keep the knife and get killed by him than to let him hurt himself.
''Hit me, I'm not going to give you the knife.''
Gerard raised his fist several times, but each time he saw that I just closed my eyes and stood there, he lowered it again.
Instead he fell to the ground, with tears rapids spirit down his cheeks.

''Why do you let me stay here and hurt you? Why do not you let me just go away?''
I grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. They eyes that I love.
''Because I love you Gerard. Because you're my whole world, and I can not watch as my world goes by.''
I went closer to him and rested my forehead against his. Our noses touched each other, and we breathed quietly. We just enjoyed sitting there and breathe in each other.

'' I care more about you than anything Frank.''
His voice had become milder.
'' I love you Gerard. So fucking much.''
He kissed me tenderly. I let my hands caress over his arms over his scars. When he felt my cold hands against the warm blood he kissed me even harder, as if he wanted to give me all the love that could fit in his little body.
It was one of those moments when time and space stand still. We pulled his fingers through each other's hair, and I felt a different feeling in the stomach than just love. It was lust.
Lust for something that he could give me, I stopped kissing him and looked at him.
He looked surprised back, he looked almost a little scared.
'' What is it Frank? You see ... Little small crazy.''

'' Gerard, I want you so much that I can not control myself anymore.''
Gerard smiled, while I saw that his lips began to vibrate. He was nervous.
'' You have to say you do not want, I do not speed up anything ...''
I looked down at the ground and ashamed, all of a sudden it felt like I forced anything. Something he did not want. Something that was far from his reality, to kiss a guy and admit her love for him in a day was enough and here I sat and encouraged him to six, it was just that he makes me so lust filled. He may want to gut tied a lap, he gets mini Frank just want to stick your head up and take a view on his handsome face, he fills my whole body vibrating with a hot steam, he filled me with love.
I knew how he grabbed my chin and pulled me up and kissed me tenderly.
'' Frank, I want. More than anything in the world. I've been waiting to hear those words for so long.''
He bit hold of my ear, and then licked my neck all the way to the shoulder.
Gerard really knew just how can would behave to make me mad.
I was crazy, crazy about him.