Let the Walls Fall Down

“So you’ve been here for four days and you never said why you called me and begged me to let you come stay in Baltimore.” Jack said as he sat down next to me on Lex’s couch. I’m not entirely sure why Jack has me staying at Lex’s house considering he has a girlfriend who lives with him. I don’t think she likes me staying here, I’ve only seen her a few times, but each time she’s given me the look of death. I don’t blame her really, a girl she doesn’t know is sleeping on her couch and her boyfriend has stayed by my side the entire four days I’ve been here. Lex was currently in the kitchen trying to find something to eat, but Jack said it’s no use because there’s probably nothing in there.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I grumbled and pulled the blanket I had up around my chest. After I broke things off with Brian I planned on going home and hiding in my room for a very long time, but then I got a text from Bella Thorne about what time I would be at the set of Shake It Up that day like I had promised. I didn’t want to be rude and not show up since I had promised her and Zendaya that I would be there a few weeks ago, so I suck it up and went over. What I didn’t plan on was running into Debby while there. Jessie is filmed in the next studio over and ran into her, and that didn’t go well, obviously.

“It’s not good to keep this shit bottled up. You will end up cracking eventually and that won’t end well.” He tried to persuade me. “Do I have to beat the crap out of Brian? Did he do something to you?”

“He’s only half the reason I am like this.” I mumbled as I tried to hide the tears that were in my eyes. My phone started ringing for the millionth time; I picked it up and saw that it was Brian. I quickly ignored it then turned off my phone.

“What did he do?” he asked concerned. I didn’t answer him though because I really don’t want to talk about. I had hoped that Jack and Lex would get my mind off of things like they had in Florida, but once I got to Baltimore I realized that I was more depressed than I had thought. All I want to do is lie on the couch and not talk. Just forget the world around me exists. And this is scaring the crap out of the boys, but I didn’t know what to do. My body wouldn’t let me do anything, every fiber of my being ached. All I can do is cry.

“If you’re not going to talk, then at least eat something.” Lex said as he entered the living room again. I looked up and saw that he was holding a bowl of ice cream and a can of Sprite.

“Really dude?” Jack looked at what Lex offered me to eat.

“What? It’s all we have.” Lex shrugged. “Plus isn’t this what girls do when they are upset over a guy? Eat their weight in ice cream and junk food.” I know I should laugh at this because it was funny and correct, but my brain wouldn’t let my body laugh.

“I’m not hungry anyways.” I said quietly and curled up in a ball. I was freezing; I couldn’t get warm for the life of me. Jack and Lex think I am crazy because they say it’s not even that cold. I told them they are used to the cold and I am not. But they quickly shot back that I am from Texas and it gets butt fucking cold in the winter. I hated that we’ve gotten so close that they know me that well.

“You have to eat something Selena. Please. You haven’t eaten a thing since you arrived and that’s not healthy. I’m starting to really worry about you.” Lex’s voice cracked a bit. I hated that I was causing them to worry and I would just leave, but I tried that already. They won’t let me leave, even to go home.

“If you don’t eat then I will call Brian...” Jack started to say but my body jolted up and I cut him off, “No! If he knows that I am here then he will come and I don’t want him here. Nobody can know that I am here. Only my mom and Demi know and I trust that they won’t tell a soul.” I raised my voice a bit which surprised us all because I haven’t really had a voice since I have been here. And I lied to their faces because not a soul knows that I am in Baltimore but these two losers.

“Okay, okay, I won’t call him. But you have to eat something please.” Jack begged me. Jack may be crazy immature and makes way too many penis jokes, but he’s became one of my best friends. After he helped me off the edge in Florida we’ve become very close. He always texts me and calls me to make sure that I am okay and we talk about a lot of random crap. Lex does the same thing, but somehow I just ended up being closer to Jack. Maybe it’s because I feel like I owe him my life. That’s why I have to give in and eat something because seeing the look of fear in his eyes hurts more than the body aches I have.

“Fine, but after I eat this I don’t want to hear any more crap.” I grumbled.

“Yay!” Jack cheered as Lex handing me the bowl of ice cream and the soda. “Can you please tell us what happened with you and Brian?”

“He chooses to believe that I am some kind of skank whore and whatever the media says about me, rather than coming to me and being all ‘hey there’s stupid ass rumors going around about you lets laugh at how stupid the media is’ and we joke about it. He doesn’t trust me and puts a girl who is lying to him over me. I can’t be in a relationship like that. I may have had sex with him like some drunk groupie, but that’s not who I am.” I explained to them.

“I’m going to kick his ass.” Jack snapped causing me to jump.

“Don’t do that, he’s your friend.” I whispered helplessly.

“He may be my friend, but he saw you that night too. He knows, I don’t want to say fragile because you are a strong girl, but he knows that you are still dealing with a very difficult break up and your heart needs healing and he was supposed to heal it not break it even further. And I will not tolerate that.” Jack’s voice was calm but you could see the rage in his eyes. I don’t know what came over me but I just started sobbing.

“Please don’t cry I don’t do well with crying girls.” Lex said soothingly was he sat next to me and rubbed my back.

“Don’t cry.” Jack said. “I won’t beat his ass if that’s it.” I couldn’t find my voice, I just kept crying. “Alex’s dick bends to the left!” Jack blurted out. Lex quickly called him a dick face. I looked up at him and started laughing as I still cried. I feel like I am delirious, how can a person laugh and cry at the same time. I get laughing until you cry, but I am crying because I am hurt and laughing because I have two friends here that are complete dorks. Two different emotions happening at once, it was way too overwhelming.

“Dude I think she’s lost it.” Lex looked at me with a freaked out expression.

“I’m fine, I think. It’s just you guys are amazing. I came here because I knew you would make me feel better. And in some weird way you have. But I still feel like I want to die. I know that makes zero sense but that’s how I feel.” I explained to them.

“That’s what we’re here for.” Jack hugged me. “Now eat your ice cream and I’ll go find you some real food.”

“Just order a pizza.” Alex told Jack.

“The girl can’t live on pizza.” Jack pointed out. Lex just shrugged and let Jack go. “I think he likes you.” he told me once Jack was out of the house.

“I doubt it; I am way too young for him. Plus I doubt he goes for weak girls. That and we’re just friends.” I sighed. I looked down at my bowl and most of my ice cream had melted. I heard Lex click a picture on his phone but I ignored it.

“One; Jack like any girl with boobs and who is hot as fuck. And you my dear are hot as fuck and have boobs so you’re exactly his type.” I tried to laugh but failed. “And you’re not weak; you’ve just had way too much shit thrown at you in a short period of time. Any person would crack under that kind of stress and heart ache. But I do get what you mean about you two just being friends, he really does care about you.”

“Maybe I should have slept with Jack that night in Florida instead of Brian and I wouldn’t be in this predicament.” I said as I put down the bowl and soda on the coffee table and curled back up on the couch. I picked up my phone, turning it back on and saw that Alex had text me the picture of me that he just took on his phone so I posted it to twitter so people know that I am still alive. Demi called a few seconds later but I quickly ignored it and turned it off once again.

“I’m sure Jack would have loved that. But we both know that you don’t see Jack in the same light as you do Brian. I saw how your face lit up at his birthday party when you two were together. You don’t have that sparkle when you look at Jack.” Lex pointed out. I just nodded because I didn’t know what to say. He’s right and we both know it. “Are you pregnant?” he blurted out after a long awkward silence.

I sat up a little bit and looked at him confused. Where the hell did that question come from? “No? Why?”

“Jack maybe oblivious, but I have heard you puking when you go to the bathroom. And you’re moody. So either you are pregnant, or you are just really depressed and have an eating disorder. I am praying that it’s not the latter.” He explained.

“I’m not pregnant, I am on the pill. And I don’t have an eating disorder, I think I am just sick.” I lied.

“Look, I know that you and Jack have gotten super close, but know that I am your friend too and if you want to talk then you can talk to me too. I won’t make the endless amounts of penis jokes like he does. I am a better listener than he is.”

“Thanks.” I smiled weakly at him. “You know how I told Jack that Brian was only half the reason I ran away from LA?” Lex looked at me and nodded. “My life is ruined, well maybe not my life but my reputation is so essentially my life is.”

“What do you mean?” he asked confused.

“It’s one thing for me to try and break out of Disney by doing more adult roles, but for pictures that are clearly not from a movie to be leaked then parents would probably ban their kids from ever seeing any movie or TV show I am in or to listen to my music.” I sniffed.

“If naked pictures have been leaked of you, I’m sure I would know. It would be all over twitter.” He said even more confused.

“They’re not exactly naked pictures, I have clothes on. But barely any clothes. And they were leaked this morning, that’s what I was checking earlier. I’m surprised she waited four days to leak them.” I told him.

“She who?”

“Brian’s best friend, Debby.” I said in disgust. Her name leaves a foul taste in my mouth. I hate that stupid bitch.

“Why would she do that? And how did she get the pictures?

My stomach began to churn but I just kept taking deep breaths, hoping that it would subside. “She stole them off of Brian’s phone.” I paused and sat up because I really wasn’t feeling well. “And she did it because…” I trailed off and jumped up off of the couch and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it before throw up began spewing from my mouth. After a while it was just dry heaving since I don’t have anything in my stomach to begin with.

Once I was done throwing up I stood up and flushed the toilet. “Selena, are you okay?” I heard Lex ask me. I opened my mouth to answer but the room started to spin. I reach out for the edge of the sink to balance myself but the room went black.