Unintended Love

“So what are you doing tomorrow?” asked Zack before I got out of his car.
“Why?” I asked.
“I just wanted to hang out.” said Zack.
“Um…okay,” I said. “I was just gonna get my haircut anyway.”
“What? You’re cutting your hair?” He sounded shocked.
“Yeah, it’s time for a change.”
“Well, why don’t you let my mom cut it? She’s a hair dresser.” said Zack. “She’ll even do it for free.”
“I can’t not pay her, Zack. That’s like slave labor or something. It feels too icky.”
“Then pay her. My point is, why go to some stranger?”
“Your mom is a stranger, Zack. I’ve never met her.”
Zack and I sat in the car. We stayed silent for a moment. He’d smile at me and I smiled back. I’d forgotten how good it felt to be with him; to be next to him.
He stretched over and gently kissed me on the lips. His head lingered a little bit and he pressed his forehead against mine.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
“I love you,” he said softly, still not moving away.
“I love you too,” I said, putting my hand on his cheek.
He closed his eyes. He took in my touch. Then, I got out of the car. I started to walk up to my house, but I stopped. I heard rustling in the bushes in front of my house. My dad stumbled out of them with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. I started to back up.
“Is that what you do when you’re out? Kiss boys like some pervert?” he asked, slurring.
“Dad? Go away. Leave me alone.”
I was shaking so hard that I could hardly breathe. Suddenly, I heard Zack’s car door open and slam shut.
“Hey!” Zack yelled.
He was walking over pretty quickly. He rushed my father.
“Get away from him!” Zack yelled, pushing my father.
“Don’t touch me you faggot perv!”
My dad kept trying to get at me, but Zack was blocking him.
“Look, just go away. No one wants you to be here.”
“This is my home! I’m here to see my wife…and my daughter.”
“Well, they don’t want to see you!” I yelled.
My dad threw the bottle my way, but I ducked and it hit the side of the house. Zack threw my dad to ground and my dad tripped Zack in return. As Zack fell to the ground, my dad got up.
I tried to run from him, but that didn’t do any good. He grabbed me from behind and started to choke me. It was like no other feeling that I felt.
“No one is gonna live to ruin my good name!” he yelled as he squeezed tighter on my neck.
“Leave him alone!” I heard Zack yell from behind.
Zack pulled my dad down. But my dad’s grip was so tight that I went down with him. He let go once we hit the ground. I started to crawl away, desperately grasping for air.
As I struggled to breath, I heard punching in the background. I looked back and saw Zack on top of my father, punching him in the face over and over. I ran over and pulled Zack off. My dad had passed out.
Zack and I were both out of breath. He grabbed me and held me in his arms. I’ve never felt him hold me so tight. He started to look me over.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“My neck is a little sore and my ribs are a bit sore again, but that’s it.”
“Okay, I’m calling the police and then we’re taking you to the hospital.”
“It’s not that bad, really.” I tried to reassure him. “I’m just a little shaken up.”
Zack got his cell phone out and dialed 911. When the police arrived, my dad was still knocked out on the ground. The two officers took my statement and also Zack’s. They immediately arrested my father and the paramedics started to take a look at both me and Zack.
“What did the paramedics say?” asked Zack.
“They said that I’m fine. Please stop worrying.”
“I can’t I said. He could’ve hurt you.”
He wrapped his arms around me and I fell limp in his arms. The police called my mom, but she’s in Sacramento, along with my sister. They went for a mother-daughter trip. When I talked to them, I told them not to come. I told Zack this and you can probably guess what happened next.
“Well, I’m staying here tonight whether you like it or not.” said Zack. “I’m not leaving you alone.”
“I’m totally safe, Zack. The police have my dad in custody.”
“I don’t care. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone.” When I didn’t answer he continued. “I don’t care if I have to sleep on the floor in your room. I’m not leaving you alone.”
Carly must’ve seen the sirens from inside her house. She came running out and over to me and Zack.
“Oh my God! What happened, Rain?” she asked.
“My dad happened.” I said.
“Oh shit, are you okay?”
“It was a close call,” said Zack.
“Don’t tell her that. I’m okay,” I said.
“He could’ve killed you,” said Zack.
“Zack’s right,” said Carly.
It was just a real shock to find Carly agree with Zack.
“Do you wanna stay over tonight?” Carly asked. “I know that you’re staying home alone.”
“That’s okay. Zack’s gonna stay with me.” I answered.
She looked over and him and scowled. That was the Carly I know. She looked him up and down and then looked back at me.
“Okay, but be careful. You should call Gabe and tell him what happened.”
That was her way of tell me not to forget that I’m still in a relationship with Gabe. She made me feel even guiltier than I already felt. After that, we said goodnight and she walked back to her house.
And after that, the police went over with us what was going to happen to my father and then they left. Zack called his parents, and told them where he’d be. They were okay with it. He’s so lucky to have awesome parents.
Zack walked into my house with me. We walked over to the couch. He sat down first and I sat slouched into his body. He put his arms around me and I felt so comfortable and safe that I knew it was the right decision to let him stay. I just didn’t want to regret it later.
“Are you tired?” I asked Zack.
“A little,” he said.
“Wanna go to bed?” I asked.
“Kay,” he said, kissing the top of my head.
“But, there’s one thing.”
“Hmm?” he asked.
“If I let you sleep in my bed with me, that’s exactly what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna sleep.”
“I promise,” he said.
“Kay,” I said.
I got up, taking his hand in mine and I led him to the stairs. We turned off lights as we made our way. When we finally got upstairs, I changed into some comfortable clothes and I let Zack borrow some as well.
As he changed, I took a peak at his abs. They’re literally perfect. He smiled and I blushed as he caught me looking.
“You’re allowed to look you know. I am your boyfriend.” said Zack. “Wow, it feels good to say that.”
“Yeah, I know.” I said, smiling.
He walked over to me, put his hand on my face, and gently kissed me. His lips were soft and they felt good; great. His kisses always sent shiver’s throughout my entire body.
“I love you,” he said. “And there’s nothing that’s ever gonna change that.”
“I love you too Zack. I always have. I’m so sorry about everything that’s gone on.”
Zack and I got into my bed and covered well with my blankets. He put his arm around me and I nestled into his body. Then, I reached over and turned my lamp off.
Suddenly, we were in the dark. I felt his chest rise and fall and his heartbeat under my head. Before I knew it, I was waking up the next morning.
We were in a different position than when we fell asleep in. I was on my side and he had his arm slung over my stomach, holding onto my tightly. I put my hand on his and he subtly woke.
“What time is it?” he asked.
I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. “Ten thirty,” I answered.
“Hmm,” he said, stretching and rubbing his eyes. “How about coming to my house for some breakfast?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “What if the police call?”
“They’ve got your cell number,” he said, which is true.
I smiled and agreed to go to his house. I was actually gonna meet those amazing parents of his. Not that my mom wasn’t great. And my dad, well…My dad used to be a great guy, especially when I was growing up. I have so many great memories with him. But now, now they’ve all gone down the drain.

Zack waited downstairs as I got ready; took a shower and changed and stuff. When I walked downstairs, he was looking out the back window.
“You’re so lucky to have the beach as your backyard.” he said.
“Yeah,” I said. “I find myself out there a lot.”
“You ready?” he asked.
“Yeah”
Zack walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek. We walked out of the house, holding hands. Once we got into his car, he leaned over to kiss me again. First, his hand was on my cheek, and then it moved to my neck and eventually to my stomach and my leg.
“We should go.” said Zack, pulling away and breathing heavily.
“Yeah,” I said, panting as well.
“Yeah,” he repeated.
But, before I knew it, he was kissing me again. Every single emotion that I could think of was rushing through my body at that moment. I didn’t want it to stop. But it did and we started for Zack’s house.
It was a very nice house. Two stories. Painted beige on the outside with white trim. On the inside, the foyer was floored with black and white marble. We walked into the kitchen, which was also floored with marble. The whole house seemed very clean, but it wasn’t uncomfortably clean. It was still homey. His parents were sitting down at the counter on barstools having coffee.
“Morning,” said Zack as we walked in.
“Morning, baby,” said Mrs. Morgan.
“Mom,” Zack complained.
I couldn’t help but smile a little.
“Oh, this must be Rain,” said Mrs. Morgan. Getting off of her stool
“Oh,” said Mr. Morgan, getting off of his stool as well. “Rain.”
“Morning Mr. and Mrs. Morgan.”
“Zack talks so much about you. It’s hard to get him to shut up sometimes.” said Mrs. Morgan.
“Mom!” Zack complained again.
I looked over and he was blushing. I smirked.
“Honey, leave our son alone.” said Mr. Morgan. “On a more serious note, We heard what happened to you a week ago. Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I answered with a smile. “I’m fine. Zack was a really big help.”
“That’s good.”
Zack went over to hug his mom hello, but she saw his hands. There were scabs on them from punching my father.
“Zack, what in the hell happened to your hands?!” she asked furiously.
“It’s my fault,” I said.
“No, it isn’t. Stop that.” said Zack. “Rain’s father tried to hurt him again last night. That’s why I stayed with him. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t want you to worry.”
“My God! What did you do? Beat him up?” exclaimed Mrs. Morgan, examining Zack’s hands.
“I couldn’t let him hurt Rain again,” said Zack trying to justify his actions.
“Did you call the police?” asked Mr. Morgan.
“Yes, we did. He’s in custody now.” I said.
“I’m glad everyone is alright.” said Mr. Morgan.
“Rain!” I heard my name. It was Jacob coming down the stairs.
“Hey, Jake.” I said.
Jake and I high-fived and he smiled.
“You know each other?” asked Mrs. Morgan.
“They met in Hawaii,” said Zack.
“Oh, right.” said Mrs. Morgan. “Would everyone like some breakfast?”
“I’m starving.” said Zack.
“Oh, by the way, great game last night, son.” said Mr. Morgan. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks dad.” Zack smiled with pride.
“Your father told me about it. I wish I could’ve been there.” said Mrs. Morgan, getting ready to make breakfast.
“Yeah, thanks…um…Rain and I are going to my room. Call us when breakfast is ready.” said Zack.
Zack dragged me up the stairs. I looked at his parents and they were smiling and slowly shaking their heads.
“What’s the rush?” I asked when we got into his room. “I wanted to talk to your parents more.”
“Yeah right, have my mom calling me baby and fussing over me? It’s embarrassing.”
“Besides, it takes away from our making out time.”
He walked over to me and grabbed my butt. He pulled me towards him and I felt his energy stream through my entire body as our bodies hit; sexual energy that is.
“Look, you keep torturing me like this and I won’t be able to take it.” I said.
“That’s sort of the point.” He grinned mischievously.
“No,” I pushed him away. “I can’t take this anymore. I have to wait for Gabe to come back tomorrow.”
Things went downhill after that. Zack got kind of quiet and didn’t really say anything for the rest of the morning.
We ate breakfast and then his mom cut my hair. I tried to pay her but she refused. I was beginning to get the impression that Zack got his persistence from her.
After the hair cut, I help swept up clippings. Even though she had a sheet under the chair, there were still some clippings that went astray.
“I love it,” she said. “It’s my best work.”
“Mom, you nearly chopped it all off. What did you leave?” asked Zack.
“Well, he said he wanted it short.”
“I love it.” I said. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”
“Come on then,” said Zack. “I’ll take you home.”
“Yeah, my mom and Jenna should be home in a while. They’ll want to see me.”
“Well, it was lovely to meet you, Rain.” said Mrs. Morgan.
“You too, Mrs. Morgan. Thanks for the haircut.”
“Anytime,” she said with a cheery smile.
Zack and I walked out of his house and into his car. We sat silently and he turned on the engine.
“Wait,” I said.
“What?” he asked.
“What’s up with you?” I asked.
He didn’t answer.
“Are you mad because I won’t go any further than kissing you because of Gabe?”
He was still silent.
“Look, I picked YOU, Zack. YOU. I’m trying to stay as loyal to Gabe as possible because technically, I’m still in a relationship with him. If you have a problem with that, I just won’t be in a relationship with either of you. And…frankly, that’s sounds pretty good right now because my life would definitely be a lot less dramatic.”
Zack turned the car off.
“I’m sorry, Rain. I just get frustrated really easily. I know that you still want to respect your relationship with Gabe. It’s just…It’s hard for me to keep away from you. It always has been.”
“I just wish this shit would be easier!” I put my head in my hand in frustration. I couldn’t talk anymore.
The anger and frustration and guilt building up inside of me was beginning to be way too much for me to handle. What made it worse for me was that, usually, when I’m with Zack, none of it matters anymore. I hated that.

* * *

Waiting for Gabe to come over after his trip was torture. I started to feel queasy as it the time got closer. I could feel the familiar rustling in my stomach that then traveled it way up my body and stayed, built up, in my throat.
He rang the doorbell when he got there. I was waiting nervously on the couch for him. I got up and slowly walked to the door. I ran my hand flat on clothes, smoothing them out, before I answered the door.
When I opened it, he looked so happy to see me that I almost puked in his face right there, but I resisted. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I hugged him back. He complimented my hair, but I didn’t say anything back.
“What’s wrong, Rain? You look sick.” he said.
“We have to talk,” I said.
I took his wrist instead of his hand and walked him to the living room. I sat on the couch and then sat him down next to me. He looked worried.
“Are you okay? Is it your dad?”
“No,” I said. “I’m fine. I just have something to tell you and it’s not really that easy.”
My heart was beating like there was no tomorrow. I could practically hear it echoing in my body. Then, my entire body started to shake. I could taste the puke in my mouth.
“Baby, whatever it is. You can tell me.”
He put his hand on my knee, and I put my hand on top of his, but only to push it away. His face looked hurt and I almost didn’t go through with it. But I knew that I had to. I couldn’t keep lying to him.
“It’s about Zack. I don’t exactly know how to say this…I’m-I’m still in love with him.”
He stared at me silently; tears building up in his beautiful eyes. This made tears build up in my eyes as well. But I knew he deserved a further explanation.
“I tried to bury my feelings for him because he really did hurt me, but it just didn’t work.”
He still stayed silent, but this time, he got up and started to pace the living room.
“I’m telling you this because I couldn’t lie to you anymore. I loved you, I did…I just never stopped loving Zack.”
“So…what the hell where you doing with me? Was I just some game you were playing with Zack?”
“No, Gabe.” I stood up and faced him. “Look, I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I loved you.”
“Just not enough for you to get over Zack.”
“I’m so sorry, Gabe.”
He wiped tears from his eyes and then put a hand through his hair. His lips were quivering and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was crying now too.
“You were my first, Gabe. And I will never forget you. I will never forget how good you were to me.” I said.
“Don’t. Just…Just don’t.” He sniffled and wiped his tears again. “I hope you two are happy together.” He said bitterly and then stormed out of the house.
I just stood in the middle of the living room, in shock of what had just happened. It was still hard to believe.
I sat on my couch, and put my head in my hands. My tears fell into my cupped hands like they were a bowl. I started to quiver and hiccup. I was horribly sad that things ended with Gabe, but I knew that I did the right thing. I couldn’t stay with him, knowing that Zack is the one who has my heart.
I walked up to my room. I just really wanted to be alone. I couldn’t be alone with my mom in the next room; her office. I sat on the edge of my bed and the fell back, with my feet still on the ground. My tears were gone, but my heart still ached.
I lay there, on my bed, for hours. I didn’t move. I just looked up at my ceiling. Every once and a while, a tear would make its way to my eyes. But I’d wipe them away. Eventually, my mom came in to check on me.
“I’m okay, mom,” I said before she said anything.
“You need to eat something Rain. Come downstairs and I’ll make you something.”
“No, I’m not hungry.” I said. “Just…Just leave me alone.”
She said nothing more and left the room, closing the door. I was relieved that she didn’t push it. But, once she left, I got off of my bed. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my cell phone from it.
I knew I couldn’t dial Zack’s number. He would be too excited, when I’m feeling the exact opposite. I probably couldn’t call Carly because she would probably judge me. I was going to call Eric. When I called, he came over.
“You did the right thing, Rain.”
“Then why do I feel like total shit?” I asked.
“Because your heart is breaking. You said that you loved him right?”
“Yeah, I did. But…”
“But nothing. You loved him. If you didn’t hurt, then I would be questioning your morality. But you’re hurting and it’s totally normal.”
There was silence between us. Then, Eric broke it.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Why’d you call me and not Zack or Carly? We’re not even that close.”
“I feel close to you, Eric. You’re the only one who tells me the truth without judging me.”
“Well, on that note. You shouldn’t be cooped up in this small room. You need some air. You wanna go out to the beach?”
“Yeah, that sounds cool.” I said.
Eric and I walked out of my room and walked out to the back. We sat on the deck, looking out at the ocean. It’s late September so it was just a little chilly out with a nice salty breeze flowing through the air. The sky was filled with grey clouds. You couldn’t see even a pinch of blue.
“Is it just me or is it cold?” asked Eric.
“Yeah, it’s a bit cold. I think I have a hoodie you can borrow if you want.”
“A hoodie? Don’t you have anything a bit more…chic?” asked Eric.
“Um, I might have a pea coat…” I suggested.
“Okay, if it’s alright, I’d like that.”
I walked back into the house and walked upstairs again. My mom was in her office and probably didn’t even know that Eric was there.
Anyway, I grabbed a hoodie for myself and my pea coat for Eric. I thought it was still a little warm out for a coat, but I knew Eric would probably never be caught dead in a hoodie. I put my hoodie on and then walked downstairs and joined Eric again on the deck, handing him the coat. He put it on and I sat in the deck chair next to him.
We sat there for about an hour without saying one word. We just watched the ocean and the waves crashing against the sand, sending mist our way. After the hour, he got up, saying he had to go. He took off the coat and I walked him to the front door.
“Thanks a lot, Eric. You really helped me out.” I said, as he stood in the doorway.
“Things will get better, love. You’ll see.”
“I know.”
I hugged Eric and he hugged back. He kissed me on the cheek and then went on his way. I smiled and waved as he pulled out of the driveway.
After he left, I walked up to my room to change into some decent clothes. I wanted to look good. I was going to see Zack. It seemed like the right thing to do since I was feeling much better.