Baby Steps

That night after the show had finished, I pulled Tony aside and we went for a walk. We didn’t say anything for the majority of the way to our destination. He asked me once where we were going and I never replied so he just quietly followed me. We walked until we got to an open grass area on the edge of the side of town where the venue was. It was nice and quiet and completely void of all people.
“Mike, what’s wrong?” Tony asked as I stopped.
“I can ask you the same thing.” I turned so that I was facing him. “You’ve been acting really weird since I got out of the hospital.” He looked down, avoiding my eyes. He mumbled something under his breath. “What was that?”
“I’m scared.” He said a little louder. I was confused.
“Scared of what Tony?” I reached under his chin and lifted so that his eyes met mine. Tears started forming in his eyes and I pulled him closer to me. “What do you have to be scared of?”
“Losing you.” His voice was barely audible and he moved so that his face was against my shoulder.
“Losing me? Tony how would you lose me?” I didn’t understand where this was coming from. How could he be afraid of me going anywhere?
“When we couldn’t find you… I just… I couldn’t function.” His voice was cracking and it was breaking my heart to hear him like this. Tony has always been the quiet one, so it wasn’t surprising that he hadn’t mentioned this, but it was just really unlike him to keep something like this to himself.
“Tony, I can’t promise that nothing will ever happen again, but I’ll do my best to stay safe.” I pulled him against me and rubbed his back. “I don’t ever want to put you through something like this ever again, because I love you.”
“I love you too, Mike.” He leaned up and pecked my lips lightly. “Come on, let’s head back.” We stood and began walking back to where the bus was. When we got there, Vic and Jaime were passed out of the couch in the front lounge. I really wasn’t up for waking them so we headed to the back lounge and started watching a movie.
“Why do you think Moriarty had it in for Sherlock?” Tony asked after about half of the movie was over.
“I have no idea.” I chuckled. “Why not go back in time and ask the writer?”
“You and I both know that we can’t do that.” He sighed.
“Yeah, but I honestly have no idea babe.” He leaned back against me again and paid attention to the rest of the movie.
By the time it was over, he had fallen asleep on me and the bus had begun moving. It was nice to see that he had finally calmed down enough to sleep after so long. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to really think that everything was going to be okay, but I hoped it would be soon. Seeing him with his hair all dishelved and his mouth slightly open was just too adorable.
Things were starting to worry me a little. It was hard enough seeing him get upset with me, but him getting upset about me leaving him, it made me feel guilty. Aside from my brother, Tony was the greatest thing to ever have happened to me. He was the reason for me even wanting to get up in the morning. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him, it had never even crossed my mind.
I sighed as I gently stroked his hair. A few seconds later, I heard someone walking through the bus. The door to the back lounge opened and Vic was standing there starring at me. I gave him a confused look before he sat down next to me.
“I’m glad he’s finally asleep.” He motioned his head towards Tony.
“Yeah, he’s looked so exhausted lately.” I agreed.
“Yeah, well if he disappeared one day for no apparent reason, you wouldn’t sleep well either.” Vic rested his hand on my shoulder. “And I know how he feels. I was going crazy with worry when you didn’t answer your phone. How was I going to explain to our parents that I had managed to lose their baby?” A warm feeling pooled in my stomach.
“Vic…”
“I was going crazy trying to find where you had gone. You’re my little brother and I love you, so please don’t do this to us again.” He smacked my cheek lightly, smiling at me before standing and leaving the room. I was going to say something, but the words refused to leave my mouth.
I wanted to prove to Tony that I was serious about staying with him. I’m not entirely sure how I was going to go about it, but I had to do something.