If These Sheets Were States

Bella sat back and folded her arms together, laying them on the table. She buried her head as much as she could, trying to make sure that the music was the only thing she could hear and that darkness was the only thing she could see. Her eyes were shut tighter than the legs of half of the girls in her class. She shut out the mindless bullshit that her fellow classmates felt necessary to indulge in. Shut out every feeling and every thought. She shut out the whole God damned world and just sat there and drowned. But there was just one memory she couldn't shut out.

- - - - - x - - - - -

"Will you just leave me alone, Bella?! I'm fine! Go away!"

"Somehow I don't think you are fine. Hence why I am staying! Right here."

"I will do what I have to in front of you, you son of a bitch, now get the fuck out!"

"Funny because you don't have to do a damned thing! Stop fucking looking for attention when you've got it right here! All I'm trying to do is just care about you, why won't you let me in? Why won't you let me be there? You're being so selfish!"

"I mean it, Bella! I will! I ain't fucking afraid to do anything, you should fucking know that by now!"

"No! Just.. look.. put that down. Please. You're scaring me. Stop. Put it down!"

"ISABELLA OLIVIANNA STITHAM. GET OUT OF THIS ROOM! I'm sick of hearing your voice! Your words bore me!"

"Fine! I'll just fucking leave you here then, shall I?!"

"FEEL FREE."

- - - - - x - - - - -

"No. Don't do it. Don't fucking leave. You get your fucking ass back in there and you never leave her side." Bella thought to herself, screaming at herself in her mind.

- - - - - x - - - - -

Bella walked out of the kitchen, slamming the door behind her, tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she tried so hard to hold them in. Suddenly, there was an eerie silence within the house. But Bella didn't care right now. She ran upstairs to her Mother's bedroom and stood in the doorway for a couple of seconds, looking around. Ornaments, photo frames and photographs, all neatly aligned with care on top of some shelves.

"Obsessive compulsive bitch." Bella muttered under her breath.

She took a step forward and with one swipe of her right arm, all the photo frames were on the floor - the majority of them in pieces, and those pieces in even smaller pieces. Bella looked down with a feeling of regret. She stepped backwards and threw her head back against the wall, which she then proceeded to sink down. She heard a shriek, that made every single hair on her body stand on end. Even worse, it sounded as if it had come from downstairs.

- - - - - x - - - - -

"Make it stop. Please." Bella thought again.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling any longer. They fell like torrential downpour but she didn't make a single sound. They soaked the sleeve of her hoodie and she arched her back, feeling every ounce of pain from the memories.