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Sequel: Therapy ›
Status: This story is complete. Please note that certain chapters may act as a trigger, and if you feel yourself getting triggered at any time, I want you to stop and just breathe, okay? I'm only a message away if you need some random stranger to talk to.

If These Sheets Were States

Bella was any ordinary eighteen year old - so people thought. Good grades, an amazing best friend whom she thought the world of, a few enemies and a lot of tears here and there. Everybody suffers, everybody survives and carries on. But nobody could have expected this. Especially not Bella.

Can she let go of everything she's ever known? Can she overcome something that's dragged her down for far too long? Most importantly, all of the memories that have drowned her for the past two years, will she ever be able to put her mind at ease and make them just disappear?

At the end of it all, Bella knows her life will never be the same again.
  1. I'm a Walking Travesty
    Is this the beginning of the end? The music can't take away everything.
  2. I Could be Nothing but a Memory
    Who doesn't love revisiting their past?
  3. I Can't Stay Here No More
    Don't go, please stay. I'll beg for one last day.
  4. Grab my Wrists and Pull Away
    If it gives her freedom, then why is she so imprisoned? (trigger warning)
  5. You Make me Wanna Tear my ***ing Hair Out
    One of these days, she won't be so lucky. One of these days, her wish will come true.
  6. The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver
    The big day for Bella has arrived! Surely, she can't screw up anymore. Can she?
  7. I'm Wasting Wasted Time
    Who's seen? Who knows? Bella may have just completely blown her biggest secret.
  8. I Wish we Could Start all Over
    I tried to open up my eyes, I'm hoping for a chance to make it alright.
  9. I Like You Just The Way You Aren't
    How can this even be happening? She's just any ordinary girl, remember? Surely she must be dreaming.
  10. We Never Stood a Chance out There
    He's not going to give a shit, Bella. Just get over it and walk away before anyone gets hurt.
  11. I Don't Mean to be a Bother
    Even though she doesn't believe in love, he's determined to call her bluff. Who could deny these butterflies?
  12. Let me Dream, Let me Stay
    Bella's got Alex exactly where she wants him to be, for the minute. And Alex isn't complaining. Will she really open up to him?
  13. I'll Paint You Wings and I'll Set You Free
    She's no longer drowning. Is this what it feels like to let go?
  14. Get a Grip and Get Out, You're Safe
    I'll be fine, even though I'm not always right.
  15. It's Too Late For Explanations
    Baring everything for all to see. Well, for Alex to see. Will this make him want to walk away?
  16. Dedication Takes a Lifetime
    But will this dream only last for a night?
  17. I'm Just a Moment
    We could be a story in the morning..
  18. Backseat Serenade
    Whatever is going to happen next for the young lovers?
  19. I've Got the Guts to Say Anything
    Back to square one, it would seem. It's not like she had come very far. (trigger warning)
  20. She's Out of Control, So Beautiful
    Saved by the bell, or so she thought. Bella has to find a way to break this one to Alex, surely.
  21. I Want to Break Down These Walls
    Alex is prepared to let everything go for Bella, who doesn't seem to know what she wants. Whether she's also prepared to let everything go for Alex, is another question.
  22. Return the Favour
    Bella always seems to be on the edge of the brink, and Alex always seems to be trying so hard to bring her back.
  23. Smile Like You Don't Give a Damn
    Just say anything, the truth from the beginning. Starting all over again is the way to do it.
  24. A Touch of Redemption
    Now they've been found out, what's next in store for them?
  25. A Hint of Elation
    The secret is now officially out. It shouldn't have an effect on anything though..
  26. A Recipe for Disaster
    Everything seems to be coming together. For everyone, it would seem.
  27. I'll Love You Forever or Find Someone Better
    Three words, eight letters. Why are they so damn hard to say?
  28. Wake Me Early, I've Been Dreaming
    Everyone seems to be finding their happy ending.
  29. So Wrong, It's Right
    There's always going to be difficulties in any relationship you get into. And this one is certainly no different.
  30. A Better Reality
    Just when Alex thought he knew Bella inside out.
  31. But You'd Expect That From Me
    You can't fix something that isn't broken, and you especially can't fix something that's broken, with no glue.
  32. We've Got Unfinished Business
    I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness.
  33. Times Like These Feel So Dangerous
    You're gonna find out how right it feels to ignore the ones you love the most.
  34. Unanswered Questions Will be the Only Thing to Stop Them Now
    It's make or break.
  35. I Wanna See Your Face and Know I Made it Home
    They can't just leave, surely? They can't just leave everything behind? There has to be a way around it.
  36. I Think Myself Deserving of a Little Time Off
    But this is crazy talk!
  37. Don't Sweat it, Forget it
    The journey that ends one experience, and begins another, has begun.
  38. This Could Be All I've Waited For
    They've finally arrived at Alex's house! Well, from now on, their house..
  39. Call me Foolish, I Feel Hopeless
    For the first time in a long time, everything is going just the way Bella wants it to. Perfection.
  40. Too Much of Anything is Too Much
    The girls are all dressed up, and ready to support their boys as they play their promotional show. What could possibly go wrong though?