It's All Lies

Walking through the front doors of Dulaney High School, I immediately put on my best fake smile on instinct. I've been doing this ever since two years ago, ever since I began to realize everything is a lie and that everything is my fault. I waved at the ones who waved at me, I said my hello's and hi's. I made it to first period and sat down in the seat right behind..come to think of it, who did I sit behind? All I did in class was sit in the seat in the very back and tune out to my iPod. My head was down when the bell rang, but I didn't move. A few minutes later I sat up for roll call and finally saw who was in front of me. I didn't know his name, but I knew he was the biggest man whore at this school.
"Alexander Gaskarth?" the teacher asked.
"Here." the boy in front of me, was apparently Alexander. He raised his hand so the teacher would see he was present. The teacher nodded and he put his hand down. A minute or so later I heard my name.
"Jenna Winchester?"
"I'm here." I said, half raising my hand to show him I was here. To my surprise, Alexander turned around.
"Are you new here? I haven't heard your name before." He had this smirk on his face and I rolled my eyes. He was always late to class, I always heard him take his seat minutes after class. Even with my head down I would know if he was late.
"Maybe if you weren't always late to class, you would know that I'm not new to this school at all." He laughed.
"Yeah, well I can't help that my alarm clock is a piece of shit. I'm Alex." He smiled, for real this time.
"I'm Jenna." The teacher coughed and glared at us.
"Am I interrupting your conversation Miss Winchester and Mister Gaskarth?" He crossed his arms.
"N-No sir. I'm sorry." I said shyly as a lot of the other students turned around to look at us. I put my head down and took a look at my phone, only to see I had a text from my best friend who sits in the front of class.
From: Karakins
Dude! You and Alex? Who would have thought ;)
I rolled my eyes and texted back quickly.
To: Karakins
He turned around and talked to me first. This is the first conversation I've ever had with this guy.
I looked up and looked to the front to see Kara quickly texting me back, being careful not to get caught.
From: Karakins
I saw the way you got so shy when the teacher caught you.
To: Karakins
You know how I am! I get shy easily and I hate when people look and stare at me.
"Kara give me your phone, you may have it back at the end of class." The teacher took her phone and I laughed to myself when she started to pout. I pulled out a notebook and started writing down some lyrics I've been working on. They weren't the best but they certainly did make me feel better. Before I knew it, the bell rang and Alex looked over at me while I was packing my things.
"So Jenna," he started. I raised an eye brow.
"Yes?"
"What would it take to get you to come hang out with me at lunch?" He seemed genuinely excited about the thought of me joining him. I put my finger to my chin, to make it look as if I was thinking really hard about my answer.
"Well, if you could get me a Snickers bar, I'll join you today." I smiled, knowing he'd have to actually leave school to get one, which I highly doubted he would do.
"Okay!" He jumped a little and smiled. "Meet me in front of the cafeteria before lunch." He said, before running off to his next class. I sighed and made my way to my next class, sitting next to my good friend Rian.
"Hey, Rian, what's up?" I smiled. Rian was the only one besides Kara who knew about my problem, how I have depression and anxiety. They are the only ones who I ever believe when they tell me something, they are the only ones who know I self harm more often then I should. I bit my lip and pulled down my sleeve past my left hand at the thought of someone seeing the scars on my arm.
"Not much, it's school. How have you been? Have you..." He trailed off, knowing I would know what he's asking.
"Not in a few days, I haven't hit a low enough point." I saw him sigh of relief and smile.
"Good, let's see if we can keep that up okay?" I nodded. Rian was such a good friend and person, no wonder Kara liked him. I was still working on getting them together, it was taking a while but I wasn't going to give up.
"Rian!" I looked over to the doorway to see this lanky kid walking in and sitting on Rian's desk. "Who's this?" He smiled. "I'm Jack!!" I swear this kid was acting like an eight year old.
"Really, Jack? She's been in our class since the beginning of this school year and you haven't noticed her?" He shook his head and Rian sighed.
"Hi Jack, I'm Jenna." I smiled shyly.
"Awe, you're shy! You're so cute!" Jack said, attacking me with a hug, and earning stares from some of the other students.
"Jack get off of her, she doesn't like when everyone is focusing on her." Rian warned. I shook my head and laughed.
"No, it's alright, Rian." I don't know why, but Jack's presence made me calmer in a way. He seemed like a genuinely nice person, especially if Rian was friends with him.
"You should have lunch with me!" Jack yelled.
"I'm sorry, Jack, but I've already made plans with someone for lunch." He pouted and Rian patted his head.
"Jack wanted to sit with his new best friend." He sat in his own seat and sulked while I laughed.
"Tomorrow, I will. Okay?" I smiled and his face lit up like a little boy on Christmas.
"Yay! Jack gets to eat lunch with JenJen!" He danced in his seat and was smiling like crazy. Oh boy, he was going to be a handful.
~_~_~_~_~
"Here's your Snickers." Alex said, when I showed up before lunch in front of the cafeteria. I was surprised he actually went and got one for me. Just for me to have lunch with him?
"You didn't actually have to, but thank you. Guess I'm yours for lunch today." I gave him a smile.
"Well let's go, you have to meet the gang." He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the cafeteria. A lot of other students looked up at us, eyes widening at Alex's hand wrapped around mine. I felt my cheeks heat up, I wasn't used to this many people staring at me. I pulled my hand away from Alex's, but he didn't question it. When we got to the table I saw Jack and he immediately got up and attacked me.
"JenJen! I thought you said you had plans?!" He hugged me tight.
"Can't..breathe.." I choked out and Jack let go. "I had plans with this kid, he insisted." I pointed to Alex.
"Alex got to you before me? Awe, come on Alex, let me have a girl for once." Jack pouted and everyone laughed. I noticed Rian and Kara at the table as well. I gave them a questioning look.
"We promised Jack." Kara said and Rian nodded. I smiled and sat in between them.
"Well it seems as if you know everyone already." Alex said, sitting next to Jack.
"I just met you and Jack today, so really I only knew Kara and Rian before today." I said, grabbing one of Rian's grapes and throwing it at Alex's head. He laughed and picked it up off the table and ate it.
"Alex!" I heard a female voice call his name, and looked over to see a beautiful dirty blond girl come up to him. "I heard you were holding hands with some brunette chick. Who is she?" I looked down, knowing it was me she was talking about.
"Lisa, calm down. I was just leading her to our table. She's right there in between Kara and Rian." I looked up and smiled shyly.
"I'm sorry, he really was just leading me to the table. I pulled away from his hand because everyone was staring so I assumed he had a girlfriend and I didn't want everyone thinking something that wasn't true." I lied. Lisa's face lightened up and she smiled.
"Oh, okay. I'm sorry for getting mad and jealous! You seem like a nice person!" she said as she took the seat next to Alex. "I'm Lisa."
"I'm Jenna." I smiled. Jesus Christ, today has been exhausting already and it isn't even the end of the day yet. How was I going to make it through lunch?