Finding John
Chapter Fifteen
When Alex told me about his mother, it clicked in my head: that’s why he started talking to me, because he knew exactly what I was going through. He had lost his mother, too, and in such a horrendous way. And as I hugged him, suddenly he wasn’t the only one crying; I was. Hot tears were streaming down my face, and, as they hit Alex’s shoulder, he let out a small laugh. It was sort of a combination of a laugh and a sniffle, but it was a laugh all the same.
Alex pulled back. “John, why are you crying?” he asked.
Then it was my turn to laugh. “You know, I don’t really even know. Your story..it was really touching.”
In a gesture that caught me completely off guard and, at the same time, made my heart skip a beat, Alex took his thumbs and gently wiped away the tears from my eyes. I just stared at him, not sure what to say or do next. And then, as if the moment could get any more perfect, Alex leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was a quick kiss, but it sent shivers all the way down my spine. When he pulled away, he seemed kind of shocked at himself for doing that. “Sorry,” he said. “I was kind of in the moment.”
I shook my head and smiled. “I was, too.” Alex smiled. Suddenly feeling awkward, I scooted back a little on the bed. The way this meeting was going scared me. I had never expected to feel so strongly about anyone at my age, let alone Alex Malone, the guy who everyone dubbed ‘The Mute’. It was all so sudden to me and I had mixed feelings about how I felt about it. On the one hand, my heart was telling me to go for it, that this was something special that I’d be stupid to mess up. But my head was telling me that I wasn't ready, that this would never work out.
Before I could decide which one to go with, Alex chose for me. “Look, John. Let’s just forget about what happened. We both agreed that we were in the moment, so let’s just move on.”
“Uh..yeah. That’s, uh, fine.” I managed a small smile, but the truth was, my heart was aching. I suddenly felt like my heart had won the battle, despite what Alex had said.
---
Everyone at school was shocked to see Alex talking to me. They hadn’t seen him talk hardly ever before a week ago. People stared, whispered, and, to my complete amazement, actually pointed at us, as if we wouldn’t notice. Every time that happened, Alex would send me a small smile, and every time he did, I felt my heart rate increase. I kept wanting to tell him, tell him everything: how he made me feel, how much that kiss meant to me, how special I feel when he talks to me, how I think I’m falling for him.
But I couldn’t. It was as if my heart knew what it wanted, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate. So I just let it go, hoping that someday I’d have the courage, and hoping that it would be some day soon.
Alex pulled back. “John, why are you crying?” he asked.
Then it was my turn to laugh. “You know, I don’t really even know. Your story..it was really touching.”
In a gesture that caught me completely off guard and, at the same time, made my heart skip a beat, Alex took his thumbs and gently wiped away the tears from my eyes. I just stared at him, not sure what to say or do next. And then, as if the moment could get any more perfect, Alex leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. It was a quick kiss, but it sent shivers all the way down my spine. When he pulled away, he seemed kind of shocked at himself for doing that. “Sorry,” he said. “I was kind of in the moment.”
I shook my head and smiled. “I was, too.” Alex smiled. Suddenly feeling awkward, I scooted back a little on the bed. The way this meeting was going scared me. I had never expected to feel so strongly about anyone at my age, let alone Alex Malone, the guy who everyone dubbed ‘The Mute’. It was all so sudden to me and I had mixed feelings about how I felt about it. On the one hand, my heart was telling me to go for it, that this was something special that I’d be stupid to mess up. But my head was telling me that I wasn't ready, that this would never work out.
Before I could decide which one to go with, Alex chose for me. “Look, John. Let’s just forget about what happened. We both agreed that we were in the moment, so let’s just move on.”
“Uh..yeah. That’s, uh, fine.” I managed a small smile, but the truth was, my heart was aching. I suddenly felt like my heart had won the battle, despite what Alex had said.
---
Everyone at school was shocked to see Alex talking to me. They hadn’t seen him talk hardly ever before a week ago. People stared, whispered, and, to my complete amazement, actually pointed at us, as if we wouldn’t notice. Every time that happened, Alex would send me a small smile, and every time he did, I felt my heart rate increase. I kept wanting to tell him, tell him everything: how he made me feel, how much that kiss meant to me, how special I feel when he talks to me, how I think I’m falling for him.
But I couldn’t. It was as if my heart knew what it wanted, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate. So I just let it go, hoping that someday I’d have the courage, and hoping that it would be some day soon.