Dedication Takes a Lifetime but Dreams Only Last for a Night

Alex POV:
I came to school the next day all ready to help Jack in whatever way I could. Luckily the worst of the bruises from yesterday were on my upper body instead of my face so they weren't seen. I had a few on my cheeks. There was nothing i could do about them but hope no one will ask about them. In my old school I was constantly making excuses. "Oh I tripped." "I didn't notice there was a tree." "I slipped." Anything so no one would know. I didn't want to know what would my dad do if someone knew. I was quite looking forward to helping Jack. he wouldn't end up like Tom. I just wouldn't let that happen.

When I was walking to homeroom I saw this kid Blake laughing at Jack. Yesterday I saw them passing notes so I assumed they're friends. But now he was telling Jack about how gay his jeans were. Jack muttered "Just stop Blake." He was staring on the floor, hurt and worry clouding his chocolate puppy eyes.

I remember kids bullying me at my old school, and just wishing someone would stop it. Right now, I could help Jack. It was my chance to stand up for someone.

"Lay off him!" I said loudly. Blake smirked and his dull blue eyes seemed to make fun of me. i honestly didn't care. I just couldn't let him hurt Jack again.

"Oh yeah? Make me!"

"Just stop it. It doesn't have to come to that." Hoping he doesn't see my fear as I summed him up. He was tall and strong. But if that was what I needed to do in order of him to stop then so be it.

I prepared myself for a fight when I heard Rian say "Yeah just stop it." I was so thankful for Rian, who I knew only did it because I was there, and not because of his great love to Jack.

Just then the bell rang. "Saved by the bell and two wusses" Blake cackled at Jack.

As I went to talk and see if Jack was okay he simply shoved me away and walked off. I couldn't help but be slightly hurt. I just tried to help him and he can't at least talk to me?

"Grateful isn't he? Told you he's an idiotic douchebag. And you're welcome." Rian said as he smiled flashing his white bright teeth. I was honestly so thankful for him and hopeful about our possible friend ship.

Jack POV:

I was sitting on my car hood after school letting Blink calm my thoughts and nerves.

First that Alex learns my secret and blurts it out in the middle of the hallway,then he saves me from Blake. I feel like I'm in his dept which means I can't continue to be mean to him. And I don't want to. His cinnamon eyes when I pushed him broke my heart. He was so nice, pure and sweet. I just wanted to give him a hug, especially with the bruise by this cheek. I didn't know where it came from and Alex seemed to want to hide it by the way he placed his hair so I didn't ask.

Just as I thought that Blake staggered up to me, with the permanent signature smirk on his face.

"What do you want?" I asked tired of his shit.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed my new cuts making me cry out in pain. Yesterday, thinking about how Alex knows made cut again. It felt amazing as usual. I didn't really care about stopping. I wasn't even trying. I just had to get rid of emotions and this was the way to do it. Who cares if I cut? I just cut once a day. My cuts weren't even all that deep, I wanted to convince myself. Even if they were deep it didn't matter.

"You ought be less rude. Your friend may have saved you today but now he's going to pay. And guess what? You are going to help me or else." he smiled enjoying my shocked face until I covered my emotions as always and said "If you touch him, I'll tell everyone about you know what." trying to scare him and failing.

Both of us knew deep inside I wouldn't though. Unlike Blake I could never tell someone secret. But both Blake and I knew he would tell everyone about the cutting without a blink.

"Go ahead, I don't care. Before you do I'll hurt your friend so bad that if he leaves the hospital in a year I'll be surprised. I'll get you blamed and then we'll see if he'll date you. I know you have a crush on him. Too bad. He'll hate you. You will help me and do what I say or daddy'll know you're gay and the school about cutting. I might even publish the naked photos of you."

"No!" I said petrified.

I couldn't believe I'd ever dated him. He used to be so sweet and sensitive. He helped me find myself. I gave him my heart and he crushed it. He was my first kiss and more. We knew each other so well. He always understood me so well. I understood him. I thought we were perfect together. But apparently for Blake it was all a joke. He never truly loved me. And that hurt.

Now he just uses me. I couldn't let him tell my parents. They'll freak. I just can't. I couldn't do that to them. They hate gay people. They're so homophobic I was honestly scared about what would happen. Only Blake knew I was gay. Maybe it would be best to just do what Blake wanted. After all, I didn't even know Alex. So what real harm would it do?

"Okay I'll do it."

"Good."

Blake left and I drove home, ran to the bathroom and cut myself until I couldn't feel pain. Nothing felt as good as the blade on my skin, blood dripping beautifully. The whole world disappeared and it was just me and my pain. Alex, Blake, nothing mattered. Soon lovely numbness came and I basked in its pleasure.

The thing was I didn't even feel guilty anymore. Recovery was a thing of the past. I'd given up on any thoughts of actually getting better. I'd cut forever. It didn't even bother me too much. After all if it helped was what the problem? I liked it.

I let my ind drift to Alex. I admit he was hot, with his fringe, light brown eyes and happy smile. But thanks to me Blakes going to make his life at school living hell. And I'm supposed to help him. Its all my fault. Alex did absolutely nothing wrong and because of me he'd suffer. If I'd actually have a crush on him it would truly ruin everything. I'd just have to ignore it.