What would I do when I'm so in love with you...

Kati blinked a few times before finally opening her eyes. Light shone through the half closed curtain and she could see that the sun had already risen. It was hard to close her eyes again and try to continue sleeping but one look on the alarm clock on the bedside table told Kati to stay awake – 8.00 am, in 5 hours she’d sit on the plane on the way back home.

She turned around expecting to see a sleeping Dan next to her but all she saw was his blanket and pillow, made as if no one ever slept in it.

Kati frowned wondering where he was and missed the feeling of him being right next to her but then smiled at the thought he might be in the kitchen preparing breakfast. He always did that when she was here.

So she crawled out of bed, went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and get changed. She put her comfy trousers on and one of Dan’s shirts which she always wore when they stayed at the house. His shirts were so much more comfortable than hers.

When she entered the kitchen she just saw Sarah preparing her breakfast.

“Oh, hey, good morning, Kati. Slept well?”, Sarah asked with a smile.

“Good morning. Yes, thank you. How about you?”

“The same, thanks. How did dinner go yesterday? Did Dan like it?” From her face and voice Kati could tell Sarah was more than curious to know how everything went.

“It went well. He liked it. Well, he said so.”, Kati laughed and Sarah joined.

“Then it must’ve been good because Dan actually CAN criticize other’s cooking. Had to experience that too often.” Sarah winked.

“Speaking of Dan, have you seen him? He wasn’t in his bed when I woke up.”

“I think he went running. I haven’t seen him long, he was pretty moody. Didn’t talk much. He should be back soon I guess.”

He went running? He hadn’t said he wanted to go running but Kati shrugged her shoulders.

“Okay. I guess I’ll finish packing my stuff then.”

-

Dan’s breath was fast and heavy when he stopped in front of the small and cozy house he knew so well from his teenage years.

He pressed the bell and waited for someone to open the door. Nothing. He pressed the bell again. Still nothing.

Right after he pressed the bell for the third time a very sleepy and grumpy person opened the door and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“Dan?! What the hell are you doing here at this time?! It’s still in the night!”, Josh groaned and a big yawn escaped from his mouth.

“Can I come in?”, was the only thing Dan asked and he waited until Josh stepped to the side to let him enter the house.

“Have you been running already?” Josh followed his friend in disbelief to the living room where Dan let himself fall onto the couch.

“Yea. I just had to get out. Needed to clear my mind.”, Dan sighed and stared at the ceiling.

Josh, slowly awakening, looked at the drummer in front of him. Something was wrong with him; he knew that from the beginning. He was different.

“What’s wrong, Dan?”

Dan took a deep breath and covered his face with his hands.

“I don’t want Kati to leave.”, he finally said.

Silence filled the room and Josh didn’t know what to say. He tried his best to come up with something comforting to say to his friend but nothing came into his mind.

“I had to get out when I woke up. After last evening…and night…it was so perfect…and waking up next to her knowing I had to let her go drove me crazy. I just had to get out. I couldn’t stand being close to her anymore.” Dan paused for a second, then continued. “I feel so bad.”

Josh nodded knowingly.

“Man, that must be hard for you. But…”, he hesitated, “don’t you think Kati feels the same? It sure isn’t easy for her either to leave you. And now she’s probably sitting at your house alone, waiting for you. Don’t you think you should be spending the time with her before she leaves?”

Suddenly Dan shot up and sat straight on the couch then headed to the front door.

“Thanks Josh”, he mumbled, “I’ll see you later!”. And with that he run down the street.

-

Kati sat on the floor surrounded by her clothes and suitcase. She looked at her watch. Dan still wasn’t her and in about 1 1/2 hours they wanted to head to the airport. Her attempts to call him failed.

She continued packing until she heard the door behind her open. Then she stopped and slowly turned around to see Dan standing in the door, sweaty and out of breath.

“Hey.”, she smiled.

“Hey.”, he replied, his voice low and hoarse.

“I missed you when I woke up.” Shyly Kati looked down at her hands feeling how she blushed and looked up at Dan again. He didn’t move.

“I just had…had to get some fresh air. I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll be right back.”

When Dan passed Kati he pressed a short kiss on her head and then entered the bathroom.

A feeling of disappointment overcame Kati. Dan was different. He acted differently around her, colder.

‘Maybe he’s just tired from running.’ she thought to herself while she closed her suitcase and sighed.

The warm water run down Dan’s body. It felt good on his skin after the run but still his mind circled around Kati and the forthcoming goodbye.

He took his time in the bathroom and he knew it wasn’t fair to Kati but he wasn’t sure how to act around her. He hadn’t felt like that before at one of their goodbyes. Something had changed. His feelings had changed.

When he got out of the bathroom he saw Kati sitting on the bed. Her brown hair was in a high ponytail, only some lose strands fell out of it. She wore his jumper, the one he gave her which she loved so much. And he had to say it looked better on her than on him.

Their eyes met and he saw some kind of hurt in her eyes. It broke his heart to see her like that yet he couldn’t go up to her and comfort her like he wanted to. Something stopped him from it, something so save his own heart.

Dan cleared his throat and started: “Umm…shall we bring your suitcase to the car already?”

Kati just nodded and stood up to get her suitcase but Dan was faster and grabbed it.

“Let me do that.”, he smiled.

Quietly she followed him to the car and watched him lifting the suitcase into it. After he was finished he turned to her and stroked her head.

“Come on, I’ll make us some breakfast before we’ve…got to leave.” Dan swallowed and took Kati by the hand to lead her into the house again.

-

After the breakfast Dan had made and Kati had said her goodbye to his mum and his sister they were on the way to the airport.

The journey was quiet, both sat in silence next to each other just listening to the sound of the radio.

It drove Kati insane. She stilll didn’t know what was on Dan’s mind or why he acted so strange. She just knew she wanted to touch him.

Slowly and almost scared she reached out for his hand. To her surprise it didn’t take long until he took her hand and rested it on his leg.
Dan glanced at her for a short moment a smile appearing on his face.

When they arrived at the airport and Kati had checked in, it was time for the two of them to say goodbye.

Dan pulled his girlfriend into a hug.

“I’m sorry, Kat.”, he said and looked into her eyes.

“What for?” Confused she stared at him waiting for him to answer.

“For earlier. I was such a fool. I…I don’t know what was wrong with me this morning but I…I had to clear my mind and…”

“Shhh.” Kati pressed her lips on his and kissed him passionately. “It doesn’t matter, okay? I’m just glad you’re here with me.”

This time he kissed her and he felt tears filling his eyes. As he broke apart he saw tears running down Kati’s cheeks. He wiped away the tears and leant his head against hers.

“Don’t cry.”

“I’m gonna miss you.”, she whispered.

“I’m gonna miss you too, hun.”

For minutes they stayed in that embrace and Dan tried to comfort Kati in her sobbing.

“I love you, Kat.”, he whispered and she lifted her head so she could look directly into his eyes.

She was lost for words, not believing what she just heard.

Dan seemed to realize that, not knowing if it was a positive or negative sign.

“Well…maybe I shouldn’t have said it.”, he nervously said and avoided eye contact with Kati but kept on babbling, “I know it might be a bit early in our relationship to say that and maybe you don’t feel the same…Those are strong words after all. But…”, Kati watched him searching for an explanation and her lips curled into a smile, “But I just had the feeling to say it before you leave. I’m sorry.” He finished and looked at her again.

Kati shook her head still smiling.

“No, don’t be sorry. I…I love you too, Dan.”

****