Nothing Else Matters

The sound of the door slamming open had us both scrambling to cover up; James quickly tossed his shirt to me.

“Hurry, I don’t want the other guys to see you….your all mine” he said, that last part in so low a voice I couldn’t be sure I’d heard correctly.

Butterflies flitted deep in the pit of my stomach and I bit my lip to keep from smiling wide like a dork. Kirk burst into our little area just as my head poked through the neckhole of the shirt. His eyes widened with a hint of mischief and understanding and he opened his mouth, no doubt to let out some smart-ass comments.

Something clenched tight in my heart and the butterflies disappeared instantly. This was just a fuck, and it happened all the time. Kirk’s eyes said it all, I was one of many.

James tossed a pillow at him with so much force it threw Kirk against the wall. He laughed and tossed it back.

“When you’re done here, we’re all gonna go get something to eat.”

James grunted in agreement and Kirk disappeared. I moved to get out of the bed, grabbing my jeans and yanking them on, jumping up and down a bit to get my legs in. James just watched, his gaze never straying from me.

“Hey! We’re hungry, hurry up!” I heard someone- Lars?- call out.

James sighed, and began dressing as well. I looked around for a mirror but finding none grabbed the compact one I kept in my purse, trying to fix my smudged, sweated off makeup.

“Hey” James said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him.

I resisted, knowing it was safer to back out now, quickly, because nothing could, or should, be expected of this, except one hell of a story to tell my children in the future.

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?” James asked, confusion written all over his face.

I couldn’t look him in the eyes as I spoke

. “You…and I…..don’t get me wrong, tonight was incredible….but we both know this is it.”

I fiddled with my hair, trying to untangle it, keeping my eyes cast downward.

“It’s not going anywhere from here.”

I heard James exhale deeply, but he didn’t say a word and I didn’t push it. I hurried out to the front of the bus before anything else happened, feeling awkward as fuck and wanting nothing more than to get the hell away from it all.

I couldn’t though; my friend was busy with Lars and the drum-set, looking so happy I didn’t have the heart to take that from her. I knew that she had no feelings for him, sexually speaking, that her affections were all centered on James, but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had my moment, she’d get to have hers too.

“We’re going to In-n-Out” Robert said, heading out the door.

Everyone followed but my friend stood behind, even after James passed us with a lingering glance in my direction and she tensed up in excitement, visibly trying not to freak out that he was so nearby.

“Ok, was the sex THAT bad?” she asked, when everyone was gone.

I rolled my eyes. “No, the sex was amazing….like…..holy fuck amazing. I just told him what he already knew. That this was it, there’s nothing more and nothing less to be expected.”

Her mouth hung open and she smacked my arm, hard.

“Are you crazy?!? That’s JAMES ALAN fucking HETFIELD!”

I nodded, stepping off the bus and heading towards my car. The band was waiting, all piled into a black vintage Camaro, just waiting, Robert in the driver’s seat, James in the passenger seat, Kirk and Lars in the back. When I got behind the wheel of my car and the engine was on, Robert started driving and I followed. The volume was up on the radio, blasting out “Whiskey in the Jar” but Vero lowered it and turned in her seat to face me once again.

“So YOU pushed him away?” she asked, voice dripping with a sugary-sweet innocence I didn’t trust.

I nodded. No point in lying when what’s done was done. A smile crept up on her lips, one part guilty, one part pleased, one part mischievous. A nauseating feeling bubbled in the pit of my stomach and I eyed her warily.

“You’re not planning on fucking him either?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t out of the question, but hoping I’d be proved wrong.

She gasped and pouted. “God knows I would, but no, I’m not. You had him first, so he’s only available to me visually.”

I couldn’t help but breathe a small sigh of relief. If earlier tonight was any indication, James liked boobs and hers- well, I couldn’t compete with them.

“So then, why do you look like you have a dirty little secret?” I asked, eyes on the road.

“Would you push him away if you and him spent more…time together?” she asked.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I shrugged. She laughed, clear, genuine, and real.

“You wouldn’t, you know you wouldn’t. So, you’d better not.”

We got stopped at a red light and I spoke.

“Well, after tonight, I think it’s a guarantee this’ll never happen again.”

She shook her head “Lars asked me to stick around with them for their tour, so that we can focus on and finish up the drumming lessons. They’re here in LA for 2 more days and then they’re headed up north.”

I shook my head. “Lars asked YOU. I just got fucked, and then I fucked him over by pushing him away.” The light changed and I continued driving, fingers tapping a furious rhythm on the leather steering wheel cover.

“Well, if you don’t go with me, I’ll just tell Lars I can’t do it when we get to the In-n-Out” she said, before turning up the volume once again, lowering the windows, and blasting out “Seek and Destroy” to the LA nightlife.