Learn How to Play the Game

“Where have you been?” Jenny asked as I walked into the apartment.

“Around and about.” I shrugged walking past her towards the kettle.

“This is the fifth night in a row you have turned up in the morning,” she observed, “who are you sneaking out to see? Or is that a stupid question?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I pursed my lips together as I poured the boiling water into my mug.

“It’s Harry isn’t it?” she asked and I turned to her sighing, “you can talk to me you know Blair. I won’t judge.”

We stared at each other in silence for a while and I blew on the tea I was holding in my hands.

“You stopped smoking.” She noted and I nodded.

“It’s a dirty habit.” I bit my lip and she hummed.

“So Harry.” She prompted and I bit my lip.

“Harry.” I nodded, “we’ve been meeting up.”

“And?” she asked and I shrugged.

“We hang out Jen.” I nibbled my lip, “I mean sure we had sex on his birthday but the past couple of nights it hasn’t been like that. We just spend time together. It’s nice.”

“What do you do?” she asked and I pulled myself up to sit on the counter.

“Watch movies, listen to music and talk.” I shrugged, “whatever we feel like. It’s weird, doing something as innocent as watching a movie with Harry feels like more. We can be sat on opposite sofas and it feels as intimate as being cuddled up with anybody else.”

“So you want to be back together again?” she asked and I sighed.

“I don’t know.” I bit my lip, “I’m leaving today to go to America for a couple of days, I guess that gives me some time to think it all through.”

“Is Ed excited?” she asked a small smile on her lips and I nodded.

“He loves the rizzle kicks boys but he’s feeling a bit lonely I think.” I bit my lip, “I need some ginger therapy anyway.”

“How does Harry feel about you leaving?’ she asked and I shrugged biting my lip, she gaped at me, “you haven’t told him have you?”

“No.” I shook my head, “I asked him to come over in like an hour so I could tell him whilst I pack.”

“How’d you think he’s going to take it?” she asked and I sighed.

“He’s going to want to come with.” I looked at the floor, “which is why I’ve waited so long to tell him. I need the space Jen.”

“I know.” She nodded, “you need to think things through.”

“I’m going to go jump in the shower.” I dropped down from the counter, “if he arrives when I’m in the shower just send him to my room.”

“Sure.” She nodded and I walked out the room.

I stepped into the shower and closed my eyes, this was getting a lot harder than I had ever anticipated it being. I knew the boys all thought there was something going on and I wasn’t sure what Harry was thinking. I used to be good at reading him but I guess both of us had changed as I kept drawing a blank on what was going through his head. I got out the shower and wrapped myself up in my fluffy cream towel, I walked into my room singing away to myself and saw Harry laying back on my bed with his hands rested behind his head.

“Well hello there.” He grinned at me and I laughed.

“Give me a sec yea?” I walked over to my drawers and pulled out some clean underwear.

I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a teal top changing quickly around the corner out of Harry’s line of view.

“That isn’t very fair.” He tutted and I laughed, “so what did you want to talk about?”

“What makes you think I wanted to talk to you about something?” I asked running a brush through my hair.

“You have that look in your eye.” He smiled, “so go ahead.”

I sighed and bit my lip, I sat on the end of the bed studying him for a second. He had a lazy grin on his face, his eyes were brighter than I had ever seen them and his hair was styled perfectly. He was in a pair of dark jeans and he was wearing my rolling stones top which only made me chuckle. He looked comfortable in my room and it struck me that he didn’t look out of place there like Henry had. When Henry had sat in my room it felt like he was cluttering up the room, he stuck out like a sore thumb but Harry only seemed to improve the room. He made the room feel more homely, he wasn’t bothered like Henry was that I had a teddy bear sat on my bed. In fact Harry was currently playing with it, it was a build a bear which was wearing a tutu and so Harry was making it spin around like a ballerina, he was laughing softly at his childish ways but it made me smile.

“I’m going to America today.” I told him and his head snapped up to look at me.

“What?” he blinked a few times.

“It’s only for a few days,” I bit my lip, “I’m going to see Ed.”

“A few days?” he scrunched his eyebrows together, “so how many is that?”

“I’ll be back on Sunday night.” I told him and he bit his lip.

“So 5 days.” He nodded, “why?”

“Why am I going to visit him?” I asked and he nodded, “he’s a bit lonely and I miss him. I’m not needed here at the moment and I don’t know when the next time I’ll get this opportunity again for a while, once we start touring I don’t know when I’ll see him again.”

“Right.” He nodded.

I stood up and pulled my suitcase out and dropping it on the bed.

“Can I take you to the airport?” he asked softly and I nodded.

“If you want.” I bit my lip was I walked over to my wardrobe, “that would be nice.”

“I rented a movie for us tonight.” He pouted and I raised an eyebrow.

“What was it?” I asked and he smirked.

“I don’t know if I should tell you.” He smiled playfully at me, “you’re leaving.”

“Tell me.” I threw a couple of tshirts onto the suitcase.

Harry sighed and shuffled to take my tshirts in his hands and start folding them up. I smiled but didn’t comment on his actions. Things were easier with Harry when I didn’t question them.

“I rented The Nightmare Before Christmas.” He said and I grinned.

“But you hate that movie.” I pointed out smiling and he shrugged.

“It’s one of your favourites, I thought I’d give it another go.” He bit his lip before looking up at me, “give it a second chance, maybe this time it will be better.”

I knew what he was saying had a double meaning to it, he wasn’t just talking about the movie anymore but I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.

“It’s a great movie.” I bit my lip and pulled out a couple of pairs of jeans to put into the bag.

I finished packing my bag and Harry put it in the back of his car to take me to the airport. I hugged Jenny goodbye and she made me promise not to overthink things to much and to let her know that I had arrived safely. I then got into the passenger side of Harry’s car and we drove in almost complete silence to the airport.

“Are you annoyed I didn’t tell you earlier?” I asked finally and he sighed.

“Why would I be?” he asked and I shrugged, “no I’m not Blair. I do wish you’d said though, I would love to be coming with you.”

I nodded and bit back the smile, I still knew him.

“Maybe I’ll come out in a few days.” Harry said quietly before looking over at me, “if you don’t mind?”

“Course not.” I shook my head, “I’m sure Ed misses you.”

“Ed.” He nodded smiling softly as he looked infront of him, “right. yea.”



“Ed!” I grinned running down the steps of the venue.

“B!” he laughed jumping off the stage and meeting me at the bottom.

He hugged me close spinning me around and I let out a laughed as I clung onto him. Being near Ed was an experience that I couldn’t explain. It didn’t matter where we were, what we were doing or who we were with but it was like a strange sense of calm. Like things were all okay by just being near Ed.

“Thanks for coming.” He grinned as we walked towards the green room

“I’m happy to be here.” I bumped my shoulder against his, “it’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you.” He wrapped an arm around me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head, “I see you have come seeking answers.”

“I’ve come seeking what now?” I cocked an eyebrow at him and he grinned shrugging.

“You have that look in your eye.” He told me as we walked into the dressing room, “you and Styles have shit going on don’t you?”

“Can we at least make it an hour before we talk about him? Just once I’d like us to hang out for a while before we have to talk about him.” I groaned and Ed laughed.

“Alright.” He nodded, “how’s the music going?”

“It’s alright,” I shrugged, “what about you? You know people are on tenderhooks to hear your next album.”

“I know.” He sighed running a hand through his hair, “it’s intense huh?”

“It is.” I nodded, “but it’ll be amazing.”

“What makes you so sure?” he asked looking across at me and I gave him a smile.

“Because you are incapable of being anything short of amazing.” I told him, “you sing and write the songs that every girl wants to hear.”

“Hey Ed…” the voice trailed off and the two boys sat on the sofa opposite me grinning, I glanced at Ed who chuckled, “so you are Blair Monroe.”

“I am indeed.” I nodded.

“We finally get the pleasure of meeting you.” The other said in awe and I chuckled.

“You’re Styles’ girl right?” he asked and I raised an eyebrow as he glanced over to Ed who nodded, “damn, he gets all the luck.”

I shook my head laughing as I realized what that exchange had been about.

“Harley.” The other introduced himself.

“Hey.” I smiled as he waved awkwardly.

“Jordan.” The other grinned and I nodded.

“Just to clarify,” I told them, “I’m not anybody’s girl.”

“You are sort of my girl.” Ed shrugged throwing an arm around me and I laughed wrapping my arms around his waist nodding and laughing as he placed kisses on the top of my head.

“So you two are close.” Jordan observed and I grinned.

“She’s like a sister.” Ed explained, “one that only comes and visits when she needs something.”

“That is a lie!” I exclaimed pointing at him, “I resent that.”

“What do you think she needs?” Harley asked and I bit my lip.

“Blair lives in her thoughts a lot.” Ed explained.

“Sometimes I need a ginger wizard to sort them out for me.” I grinned and Ed laughed.

“I have to go do an interview.” Ed stood up before pointing at me, “don’t get into trouble.”

“I’ve never been in trouble.” I smiled innocently as Ed left laughing as he did.

“Ed misses you.” Harley told me and Jordan nodded, “he says he’s never more creative than around you.”

“Did he now?” I smiled, “he’s amazing.”

“He is.” Jordan nodded, “he says you’re pretty good fun to party with.”

“Course he did.” I laughed, “I’m not legal in this country though.”

“I’m sure we could find a way around that.” Jordan grinned, “if you’re up for it?”

“I’m always up for drinking.” I grinned as my phone buzzed.

Harry Booked my flight. I’ll see you in 2 days.

I bit my lip as I stared at the writing.

“Is everything alright?” Harley asked quietly and I realized that Jordan had left.

“Yea.” I nodded spinning my phone around in my hand, “everything is fine.”

“You know, my mum always said that when a girl says she’s fine she is anything but.” He told me leaning back on the sofa.

“Your mum is wise huh?” I smiled softly and he nodded.

“Aren’t all mums?” he grinned and I bit my lip.

“Things are just complicated with me at the moment.” I shrugged as I ran a hand through my hair.

“So you ran away here?” he asked and I shook my head, “I’m not judging, I’m just curious. It’s nice to finally meet you, Ed talks about you a lot.”

“What does he say?” I asked and Harley smiled softly.

“He says that you come across fiercely independent but deep down you’re a complete softy. He told me that you’re the kind of girl that has songs written about her, that he writes songs about you and that…” Harley trailed off biting his lip.

“And that?” I prompted.

“He’s going to kill me.” He sighed and I shook my head.

“I won’t tell him.” I promised and he looked at me for a moment.

“He said that he hasn’t seen you happy since you were with Harry.” He looked at the floor, “he said that when you’re not with Harry you’re not a complete version of yourself.”

“Did he now?” I bit my lip.

“I did.” Ed said softly behind me.

I snapped my head round to look at him as he stood in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets. He didn’t look nervous about receiving my reaction and he didn’t appear to be angry at Harley for saying anything.

“Why?” I asked and he sighed.

“Because it’s the truth.” He walked over, “about both of you. Neither of you are as good apart as you are together.”

“So you think I should just forgive him and go back to him?” I asked and he sighed.

“I’m not saying that. All I’m saying is that you have two options. You either continue to be miserable and angry about everything and everyone or you can stop it and accept that it all happened. You can accept Harry screwed you over but you can also accept that he’s sorry about it. You can move on either with or without Harry but without accepting it, you’re just wallowing in it all. You need to move on and allow yourself to live. We both know that right now you’re teetering in the edge of something. Pick a side Blair.” Ed told me softly but firmly, “you either want Harry or you don’t.”