Keep Digging Holes in The Desert

I walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water.
I hadn't eaten in days.
I drank alot of water though.
So much that I felt full.
I have no idea how much I lost but my ants were too big on me now..
I had to tighten my belt as much as I could.
Jaime walked in.

"Val, when was the last time you ate?"

I just shrugged and ut my glass in the sink then walked out.
He grabbed me before I got completely out of the kitchen.

"Where do you think you're going?"
"To my room?"
"Not until you eat something."
"Jaime, I'm not hungry."
"You've said that the last three nights. Ever since you and Vic got into that fight. Is that why you're not? Because you don't feel skinny enough?"

Fuck.
He caught me.
I sighed as a tear escaped.
He noticed and pulled me into a hug.

"You will always be skinny enough. You will always be pretty enough. Don't you dare starve yourself because you think you're not enough. Don't you dare harm yourself because you think you're ugly. Starving yourself is another way that you're harming yourself, Hun. Promise me you'll start eating."
"I promise."

He let go and looked at me.

"Starting now."
"Wait, i'm not ready for this." I whisered.
"Ready for food? Valerie you love food."
"Used to love food."
"Nonsense. Come here."

I followed him to the fridge.
He opened it and grabbed a red apple and gave it to me.

"Eat."

I walked to the sink and rinsed it off before taking a bite.
The juice gushed into my mouth when I took a bite.
I hadn't realised how hungry I was.
I downed it like it was nothing.
When I finished I threw it away and looked at him.
He was just smiling.

"What?"
"I'm proud of you. You can't do that to yourself because of some dumbass who doesnt realize how special you are."

I blushed and looked away.
Suddenly he moved my face towards his.
I just stared into his brown eyes.

"You mean so much more than just a stupid girl. You're more important than that.."

In an instant his lips were on mine.
His hands went from my face down my neck, down my arms and to my waist.
I slid my arms around his neck.
I was in love with Vic but Jaime has been there for me this whole time.
Where was Vic?
Hurting me.
Breaking my heart.
And where was Jaime?
Mending to my broken heart.
Catching me when I fall.
Comforting me when I break down into pieces.
I needed him.
I needed Jaime so much more than I knew.

I kissed him back and broke apart from him breathless.
He just smiled.
I smiled back and he kissed my forehead.

"I didn't expect you to kiss back." He said.
"I didn't either."

He smirked and pecked my lips again.
He then proceeded to slip his right arm under my knees and pick me up.
He carried me up the stairs into his bedroom.
I didn't mind.
I was too numb.
Too broken.
He was fixing my heart but it wasn't fully repaired.
He laid me under the covers and got in next to me.
He wrapped his arms around me and I nuzzled my face in his neck.
I sighed just laying there.
He kissed my head.

"I love you, Val."

I didn't say anything back because I fell asleep right after.
I don't know what to do.
I love Vic with everything i've got yet i'm falling for Jaime.
But every time i'm in Jaime's arms I imagine it's Vics.
I don't want to hurt Jaime but I need someone...
What do I do?