Stomach Tied in Knots.

Kellin POV.
I breathed out slowly, and the bathroom door opened. Oh my God. I swear if you could see what I was seeing now you would probably faint or something because it is just perfection. Vic is half naked, with only a towell covering the bottom half of his body. His body is wet and it's making the curves of his muscles stand out even more than they do. It's making his body glisten where it caught the sun, and his hair is wet and sticking to his face and neck. It looks amazing. He looks amazing. I looked up at his eyes and he was already looking at mine. He grinned at me and I smiled back.
I didn't deserve him.
I mean, he's so perfect, and I'm... Well? I'm me.
I could feel the tears building up in my eyes as I carried on thinking. I kept glancing over at Vic while he was getting changed. I mean, why wouldn't I? But he was going to see Tony and I'll be left here in the room until he comes back. Left alone with my thoughts for no less than at least an hour. I hate being alone. It just makes me feel like shit. I think way too much about things I shouldn't. I don't want to be alone. I was about to ask Vic whether I could come with him when I felt him climb on top of me, straddling me. Then he kissed me, he was gentle, but firm. We kissed for a while before he pulled away and said bye. I smiled and said bye too.
And he left.

---
I shouldn't have brought it here. It's just going to screw everything up. Shut up! I need it. Why can't you see I need it. It's how I cope. I like doing it. It calms me down. It makes me feel better. It makes the outside of my body look like how I feel. I like it.
So I grabbed the little box, took out the blade and went into the bathroom. I sat against the door.
You're so stupid Kellin.
One cut.
You're worthless.
Two.
You don't deserve Vic.
Three.
You're fat.
Four.
You're ugly.
Five.
You're an idiot.
Six.
You're never going anywhere in life.
Seven.
You should just die.
Eight.
Fag.
Nine.
Ten.
Eleven.
Twelve.
Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen, Sixteen.
.....
- - - - -
I woke up to hearing knocking on the bathroom door and a voice shouting desperately.
"KELLIN?! KELLIN!? I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T OPEN THE DOOR I WILL KNOCK THE FUCKER DOWN. KELLIN ANSWER ME. OPEN THE DOOR. I'M WORRIED TO FUCK KELLIN! PLEASE!"
The knocking was furious and persistent.
shitfuckbollockscrapfuckshitshitshitshitSHIT. I didn't stop cutting until I passed out, and now I was in a puddle of blood that there is no way I can get clean with the little amount of toilet paper that was left.
"KELLIN PLEASE ANSWER."
"Vic, I'm fine I just er, I just fell sleep."
I heard him breathe out a sigh of relief before saying,
"Bullshit Kells. Do you realise there's blood that's seeped under the door into the carpet on this side? Let me in now."
"No Vic I'm fine."
"KELLIN QUINN YOU LET ME IN NOW BEFORE I BREAK THE DOOR DOWN."
I took a deep breath in, and unlocked the door. I was sitting just by the side of it. He opened the door quickly and gasped at the amount of blood. I hugged my knees to my chest and started crying. I was expecting him to start calling me an emo, or shout abuse at me or something.
But he didn't.
He knelt down in front of me, and told me to look at him. I shook my head. He lifted my head up with gentle hands. He was crying.
"Please don't do that to me again Kellin. I thought I would lose you. I don't want to lose you. I want you to be mine forever. I... I don't want to see this again, okay?"
I just looked at him and he hugged me tightly, taking care not to touch my cuts.
"You're so beautiful. You shouldn't need to do this. You have me now. I need you. You're gorgeous. Please don't do it again."
He kept whispering cute things into my ear until I stopped crying.
I sunk deeper into his hold and listened to his heartbeat.
"Come-on. Let's get you cleaned up. I can't stand seeing you like this, babe."
I smiled and took his hand, allowing him to pick me up.
Jesus, Vic is all I wanted and more.