And Only Surrender Will Help You Now

Wise man says, "Just find your place
In the eye of the storm
Seek the roses along the way
Just beware of the thorns"

~ Scorpions
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A knock on the door was what woke Kate and Brian the next morning. Being a light sleeper, Kate woke first and heard the second knock. She then crawled to the foot of the bed, a pillow in her hand, and threw it in Brian's face to wake him.

"Brian. Wake up. There's someone at the door."

"Well, maybe you should answer it."

Kate stared at him before replying. "That is most likely your mother, and what is she going to think when she finds you sleeping on the floor with a pillow and a blanket." It wasn't a question, more of a statement, and it made Brian sit up.

"Shit."

He then stood and started throwing the blankets and now two pillows back on the bed, while Kate took in his sleepwear. Or more like, his lack of sleepwear. The only thing he was wearing was a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips and Kate rolled her eyes. Of course, it's not like I didn't accidentally see enough of him yesterday.

"You awake?"

Judy's voice was muffled through the door but they still heard her as if she was standing beside them. Brian hurried to the side of the bed where Kate hadn't been sleeping and got under the covers. Knowing that it would look a bit strange if they were laying on their respective ends of the bed, as far away from eachother as they could, they agreed to spoon. Well, that was until:

"My God!" Kate hissed and scooted away from Brian. "Are you serious?"

"What? I'm a guy, and it's morning."

Not wanting to continue talking about Brian's morning wood, Kate pushed at his shoulder until he turned onto his back. Since they weren't able to agree on how to cuddle, a ridiculous argument, they were laying in a very awkward cuddle position with Kate on her side mostly turned to Brian but with her upper body almost completely facing the door, while his arms was uncomfortably bent behind her head and neck and his hand resting on her head.

"This must look ridiculous."

The next knock sounded and they both called for Judy to come inside, which she did, smiling while carrying a breakfast tray.

"Good morning." She chirped and placed the tray on the bedside table. Before the metal even hit the wood, the door was opened with a knock again and Artie Sr. entered the room.

"What the hell?" Brian whispered, quietly enough for only Kate to hear.

While Judy stood at the side of the bed, Artie felt comfortable enough to sit down at the edge of the bed. Something that earned him strange looks from the couple. Opening her mouth to say something, Judy was interrupted as the door opened again, without a knock this time, and Gabrielle came running.

"You didn't tell them yet, did you?"

"Tell us what?"

Kate was only ignored as Judy shook her head at her youngest daughter who let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God, I wouldn't want to miss their reactions for the world!" Gabrielle laughed and sat down beside her father. Brian and Kate shared a look, not knowing what to expect after Gabby's comment. After shushing Gabrielle, Judy turned to her son and his fiancée, who'd managed to find a more comfortable position next to eachother.

"Well, I was -"

"We."

This time Artie started. "Yes, we were thinking that-" Before he could get any further his wife interrupted. "You should get married in the church here tomorrow!"

Kate's jaw dropped while Brian seemed to choke on his own breath. This was definitely not expected and Kate tried, once again, to talk them out of it. "Oh, we couldn't do that. It's your weekend. Your week even. We wouldn't want to take that away from you."

They had both known that they would have to get married in the end, whether at City Hall or with a normal ceremony, but they hadn't even had time to talk about it. And now this was sprung upon them. Judy only waved Kate's protests away.

"If we didn't want this, we wouldn't have asked."

The oldest mrs. Boyle had quickly grown fond of the redhead. She wasn't a gold-digger, nor was she a doormat. She was also a fan of Kate's quick sarcastic comments that usually surfaced during dinner and were always directed at Brian. Everyone liked her, she even got along well with her son, Artie, who's autistic.

Gabrielle, not settling with a no, stood up and said: "There we have it then. You're getting married tomorrow, and we're going into town around noon to look for a dress," before leaving the room. Next to leave was Artie Sr. who returned shortly after to get his wife.

When Kate and Brian were finally left alone, they scooted away from eachother and Kate left the bed while Brian didn't seem to be able to do anything else besides lay there. Realising that she could barely hear him breath, Kate turned to him.

"Are you okay?"

"They're gonna find out. They're gonna find out and then my mom will flip out, my sisters as well and my dad's gonna have a fucking heartattack." Brian continued rambling but those were the only things Kate managed to understand.

"Brian."

"Brian!"

When he still didn't listen, she covered his mouth with her hand, and Brian looked up at her.

"Calm down. They're not going to find out. We'll make sure they don't. Sure, we're getting married sooner than we thought, but we only have to stay married for a little while before we get a divorce with the excuse that it just didn't work out between us. Okay?"

As he nodded, Kate was glad she'd managed to calm him down. With the excuse of having to take a shower, she walked into the bathroom and locked the door. After undressing and getting into the shower, Kate turned her back to the tile wall and slowly slid to the floor, resting her forehead on her knees that her arms were wrapped around.

How am I gonna be able do this?
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Kate was unusually quiet during the car ride, but thankfully all the other women talked enough for it not to be mentioned. Judy and her daughters had decided to drive back to Manhattan to look for a dress at Kleinfeld. Apparently, Judy'd been wanting to visit the store since she first started watching Say Yes To The Dress and now she had the perfect opportunity. And, once again, Brian had sent along his creditcard, or one of them, that Kate was twirling in her hands.

They were instantly taken care of as they walked through the door and together they discussed ideas of what kind of dress Kate would wear. White or ivory? Straps or strapless? Sweetheart neckline? Ball gown? Mermaid gown? Kate actually talked then, 'cause it may not be her dream wedding, or a 'real' wedding, but she would be damned if she wouldn't be wearing a beautiful dress.

Kate spent more than an hour trying on different dresses, the next either better or worse than the previous. When she pulled off the last one with the help of Sarah, the bridal consultant, Kate sat down in the closest chair, slightly downcast about not finding the dress. Which was a bit of a surprise since it wasn't a 'real' wedding. Sarah saw the look on her face and smiled kindly:

"You know, I might have one last dress that you'll like. If you want, I can go and get it."

Giving her a grateful smile, Kate nodded. "Could you, please?"

It didn't take long for Sarah to return with the dress, which was a good thing since it didn't give Kate enough time to over think certain things.

It only took one look to know that this was the dress, nevertheless Kate pulled it on with the help of Sarah before walking outside to the Boyle women. Since there were a few of them they got to sit out on one of the couches in the main room. The first reaction from them was Judy's gasp as Kate stepped up in front of the mirror.

"That's it. That's the one," Julie Ann commented as she rose from her seat and walked up to the redhead, gently running a hand over the fabric. "It's so pretty."

The others seemed to snap out of it when Julie said that and in an instant they were all on their feet. Judy reached up and took Kate's face in her hands.

"What do you say, sweetie? It's your dress after all."

"It's the one," Kate responded and was shocked when Judy started tearing up. Most likely seeing the panicked expression on Kate's face, the older woman let out a small laugh and drew her into a hug.

"You look beautiful."

Feeling the guilt give her a hard kick in the chest, Kate returned the hug.

What am I doing?