This One's For You

This is unreal. Is Austin Carlile honestly standing right in front of me, looking at me with a look of pure adoration and love? “Ariana, you mean the world to me, and I want to be with you until the day I die” he says in a soft voice. It takes all of my self-control not to fling myself at him. “Austin, you don’t even know how much it means to me, to hear you say that” I barely manage to get out. As he’s leaning down to kiss me, and my heart is going a million miles a minute, this extremely obnoxious noise shatters the whole thing, and I wake up.

I knew it was a dream. Something that magical, that wonderful, could only happen in a dream. I groan inwardly, slam my alarm clock off (which coincidentally was the obnoxious noise in my dream) and slowly manage to drag myself into my bathroom. I look at my pale face in the mirror. My dark blonde hair’s a huge mess, my eyeliner surrounding my big green eyes is all smudged, and to top it all off, my bangs are sticking up on my head. “This sucks” I say aloud to my reflection. I start my daily routine for school in an almost robotic manor. Brush my long, wavy hair, straighten my bangs down, and fix my eyeliner. While slowly dragging myself back into my room, I notice the time and realize I have 15 minutes to get to school. This happens to me nearly every morning. It’s not like I care really, I hate school. But if I didn’t go, I knew my dad would be really angry with me. I quickly pick out some clothes, black skinny jeans with holes in the knees and my favorite Of Mice And Men shirt. Next comes my rubber OMAM bracelet and the many others I own. I’ve gotten into the habit of wearing these every day, considering what happened in the locker room last year… The bitch of the school, Miranda, had gotten a glimpse of the scars on my wrist. She grabbed my arm and showed the whole locker room, and declared that I was a freak for doing this to myself. It ruined my life at school, because everyone started to avoid me even more than they usually did. So now I wear my rubber band bracelets every day, just to make sure my scars aren’t spotted again. Finally I’m ready for school. I dash from my room and quietly go into my father’s room to check on him. He’s passed out on the floor, as usual. He seems to be breathing, so I quietly close the door, quickly grab my keys, and head out to my car. It’s a good thing school is only about a 5 minute drive, otherwise I would be seriously late. I hop into my car, turn it on, and start blasting OMAM. Listening to Austin and Shay’s beautiful voices almost make going to school bearable. Almost.
~
The first half of the school day goes by in a flash, thankfully. Then the time for lunch comes, my least favorite part of the day. This seems to be the part of the school day where Miranda and her gang of sluts just love to torture me. As I enter the lunch room I spot them right away. I slowly go to my regular table, trying to keep from being noticed. So of course right as I’m about to get to my table, I slip and fall down, hard. The whole lunch room bursts into laughter as I’m just lying on the ground. Well, so much for trying to stay under the radar. I quickly get up and sit down in my seat. I could feel my face heating up, so I lowered my head to hide my embarrassment. Times like these I really miss my best friend Charlie, who moved at the end of junior year to San Diego, about an hour and a half from my house in Huntington Beach. I miss her so much. Without her, I’m utterly alone. With my head still down, I heard the sharp sound of stiletto heels coming towards me. Great, more trouble.

“Hey freak” Miranda says to me in a horribly nasty voice.

I slowly raise my head to look at her. “Nice fall. Good thing you didn’t have to worry about damaging your face, cause it already looks pretty shitty to me” she sneers at me.

I just sit there in silence, not knowing what to say. “What, you just going to sit there and stare at me, freak?” I could feel my face getting red again, so I just lowered my head. Miranda snorts “Wow, she can’t even stand up for herself, how pathetic.”

After she says this, she proceeds to dump her smoothie all over my head. I gasp; it was so cold. I quickly stand up, and run from the lunch room. The whole lunch room’s laughter seems to follow me into the bathroom. I knew today wasn’t going to be good. I try to wash out my hair in the sink, but it doesn’t work very well. So I just slowly slide down to the floor, and start sobbing. I am so fed up with being treated like shit by everyone in this school, and by my own father. My thoughts begin to turn dark, to my favorite bad habit. I slowly dig through my bag, looking for my escape. My fingers find my nail care case. I open it, and lift up the center part so it reveals my razor. I get up fast, and lock myself into a stall. I sit down, and with shaking fingers, lift my razor from the case. I stare at it for a good bit until I slowly bring it down to my wrist…